How To Ask Questions That Create Deep Connections

Discover The 4 Emotions You Need To Make a Killer First Impression:

Oprah Winfrey has a superpower. For over 30 years, people who speak to her have not been able to help but to open up, sometimes crying, expressing joy, or just showing the most vulnerable parts of themselves. That ability propelled Oprah to a net worth of four billion dollars not to mention launching books to the top of the bestsellers list and Dr. Phil's television career. So in this video, we are going to explore how and why Oprah is the best connector that I have ever covered on this channel. And you're gonna learn how to live so that people will naturally find themselves opening up and connecting with you. First off, Oprah sets the stage to connect literally.

Unlike many other TV show hosts, she is famous for walking the aisles of her studio audience and for sitting on the same couch as her guests. Later on, she would actually go into their homes for intimate interviews. Now, the lack of physical barriers such as a desk tends to make two people feel more connected and that's why you are more likely to find a spark on a first date if you sit adjacent to your date rather than being separated by a table.

0:33 Set the situation so connecting is easy
1:17 Connect physically and emotionally
2:58 It's easier to open up if there's eye contact
3:29 Actively listen and paraphrase accordingly
4:38 Call out whenever there are commonalities

Oprah makes James Corden cry:

Connect With Us Further:
Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand

Or if you want to see our personal stuff (regular life + playing music):
Instagram: @CharlieHoupert
Instagram: @IamBenAltman

"'People won't remember what you said or did but how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

[hanielortiz]

She makes people feel important. She makes people feel heard.... the key point is this: people dont always remember what you say, they remember how you MADE THEM FEEL.

[_pudu]

Biggest takeaway:
- genuinely try to understand someone’s experience with compassion and love

[uberdonkey]

I think her childhood trauma, and more importantly overcoming it, made her really empathetic. What she understands about people wanting to be heard, is what she herself needed. Now she knows, she can create this immense love for people.

[janejaxnlunalux]

I also realized that when you look at the eyes of the speaker in a group conversation the person speaking looks toward you more

I think the key is a genuine interest in people and their stories. All these things come naturally when you truly value hearing someone's story and feel honored that they are willing to share it with you.

[juniperbrooke]

I used to be this way and it can be very overwhelming to take on everyone else’s baggage. I don’t know how to separate myself from it so now I just close myself off.

[SalemGTV]

I can litterally FEEL the connection with her.

[laurie]

A lot of those tips are person-centred counselling. I would warn people trying this that the risk of this approach of relating is while people will feel understood, heard, and known (things we all crave) it can also create a power dynamic where people turn to you for support without reciprocity.

[jocelynbui]

I immediately cried when I saw Oprah told James that "Every father has a dream for his children".

[Imran_]

As an INFJ, these skills come naturally to me. I suffer in making small talk but if the other person makes an effort to ease my tension then I leave a lasting impression by showing real empathy

[WealthbuilderzTV]

Oprah is the original guru of making people feel comfortable

[sarahholland]

It's warmth and genuine interest. Everyone responds to that.

[soulincolor]

This makes a lot of sense. My mother had this gift, and it was for many of these same reasons; touch, eye contact, and just really being present and genuinely curious.

[afshahussain]

You know the sitting opposite facing one other, it really works. After watching this, I realised how many people have opened themselves up, especially when you make storing eye contact. Which I often do when I talk to someone. But when I immediately look away, somehow the other person will feel rejected and won't be as comfortable or safe to express.

[twentyone]

if oprah ever say a simple hi to me id probably bawl my eyes out. that's how powerful she is.

[genericscout]

Help people because you care about them. That's how you get remembered forever. There is no greater power than love. It's a lesson that I've known since youth. Simply put no one expects someone to actually care. So the moment you truly want the best for someone in that moment the world changes. It's a simple truth.

[shaxdayoutube-ka]

1. Proximity: stand or sit close to people
2.Touch: touch them in non sexual way
3. Prolong eye contacts: keep the eye contact for like 90%.
4. Ask for sensitive questions: don't be afraid to rock the boat
5. Share the similarities: we all love people that are similar or like us so tell people where you share similarities
6. Never diffuse when people cry infact validate.
7. Be human being who sincerely loves to connect with other people, not just to influence or liked by other people.
Welcome, it's 2021

[shaunnarochelle]

my best friend has this effect on people. it makes you feel very important but as the years have gone by, I've noticed it can be self serving for her too. she sometimes cares more about the other thinking she's caring and kind than she actually cares about you. I see the way she is especially when she Mets someone new. it's all about the charm and people pleasing. when i got chronically sick I saw this, when she saw me in person she would say all the right things and listen but then go away and leave me in the dark for ages, never offering actual help or checking in. ask yourself WHY you want to connect with everyone so immediately and intently.

[unleashingpotential-psycho]

One thing I noticed is when people talk about their passions, I tend to remember them for a long time.