How to Cope When You’ve Been Left

When we've been left for someone else, we'll be devastated of course, but it's easy to up the torture further by thinking that a) the rival is so much better than us b) our ex will be so much happier with them than they ever were with us. Both ideas are profoundly flawed, as our film shows.
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FURTHER READING

“Sometimes, we are not only left in love; we are left for someone else – a rival who comes to assume a large, indeed monstrous position in our imaginations. The torture comes down to one essential question which pursues us into the early hours: What do they have that we do not?
Part of the agony rests on a basic feature of human psychology; we know ourselves from the inside, in great and dispiriting detail, whereas we can know others only from the outside, from what they choose to reveal, which may be almost nothing, aside from an attractive face and a charming manner.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Lois de Silva

#TheSchoolOfLife #BreakUps #Relationships

[laylael]

"No one examined from up close is ever anything other than disappointing." This line was my favorite

[DaCasualMMA]

Watching this stuff when you're healed hits different... I don't know who needs to hear it, but trust me, you'll be ok

[MosesEmmet]

It’s funny how dreamy you think someone is until you spend enough time with them.

[silviacortes]

Its crazy but with my ex, I saw his flaws, all of them I saw him for who he truly is and still I loved him. I too, showed myself to him without any masks but he didn't like that at all. So here I am, heartbroken. Wondering how can I have loved someone so much despite of their flaws while they were only falling out of love when they saw mine. It's crazy and truly cruel.

[MichaelJayValueInvesting]

As much as we want to believe in the fairy tail romance that he or she is "the one", there are many people out there who would be incredible life partners who you could end up loving just as much or more than "the one" you thought you were destined to be with.

[sailormoonstone]

These videos always seem to show up just when they’re needed most, thank you

[edabakb]

I think it's important to remember that our rival isn't necessarily chosen over us for being "better" than us.

[icry]

Its weird but I feel like I shouldn't have to fight for someone in a sense, or fight for someone to choose me. Because if he really does like/love me, it wouldn't be a fight, it would've been a victory in the beginning.

[ryu]

I have this favorite quote from bojack horseman:

“it’s so sad when you see someone as they really are, it ruins them”

And I couldn’t agree more.

[zyrrhos]

I've been around the block enough times to know that starting a relationship before the one you're in is resolved is not a good idea.

[ger]

Just today I saw the person I'm in love with, with his new girlfriend. And yes, I also thought that she is perfect for him and why on earth would he ever choose me instead of her. She is more beautiful, taller, younger, probably has a much more interesting life and personality than me. And yes, I also thought that now it's only the beginning and they're still in love and fascinated with each other. And that this is bound to change. I get everything you say and I totally agree with these observations. But the thing is ... he is with her and not with me. And I miss him and I want him in my life. I am rationalizing everything but the pain and torture is here and it's breaking my heart.

[jaspreetkr]

It made me feel so much better, especially after understanding the fact that I’ve been left by someone whom I was willing to love despite knowing their fallacies and that it’s more of their loss than mine. Thank you School Of Life!

[unleashingpotential-psycho]

I think one of the most important things to remember is that there are plenty of options out there for us. If one option doesn’t work, then there are hundreds of other people who would be a great partner in our lives.

[The-biry]

It hurts when someone you were in a relationship leaves you. But it kills you when your best friend of years suddenly ghosts you and you don't even know why.

[sebastianelytron]

I just think of what the poor sucker is missing out on by not choosing me for a lover instead😎

[alineuwiragiye]

Amen I've been rejected and feeling sad for like a month now but with this video I can surely relax and be okay with it. Human are not perfect. I hope he find his happiness and I'll find my calmness.

[michachristina]

Be yourself, don't have regrets, learn, grow, adapt, and look at things in a different way. Fill your heart with genuine love, and that will change how you perceive people and things, and how life responds to you.

[tr]

If they leave you for someone else then it's like a burglar breaking into your house and stealing a bag of rubbish. Yes you've been robbed but what they've robbed isn't worth your time or emotion.

[RoninCatholic]

That bunny is cuter anyway.

Me, I've been left specifically to pursue someone else once - she chose him over me entirely because he was ten years younger, having secretly dated both of us at the same time and once she was through with me, told him that I had been stalking her and must leave her alone.

A few months later when he dumped her, she came crying to me and affirming my good qualities yet again, but of course I was well over her by this point.

[jeremymenning]

We are all far from perfect.
I'll never feel bad for being imperfect again. My ex had standards so high that she will be tossing men out every three or four years after the dopamine and oxytocin cocktail disappears and all the flaws she "just can't oversee" begin to sabotage her latest relationship.
In the meantime through self reflection and introspection I continue to grow and accept fundamental flaws of every person I come in contact with.