Awkward! How to Deal When You See Your Ex

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You broke up with your ex. It didn't end well. What do you do or say when you run into him? The trick is prepping beforehand so you are "emotionally fit" when you see him again. Do this and you'll not only tackle the awkwardness head-on, but you'll also feel pretty fabulous about yourself. I show you how in this week's LOVELife...
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Video links at the end -

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[anewloveofficial]

I saw my ex together with his new girlfriend at the mall, he approached me first like nothing happens to us. It seems that he moved on so quicky while I was struggling to move on. I was really hurt, I didn't response to him but ran out crying. That was the saddest part of my life.

[TaMarAaQ]

This guy knows me better than I know myself

[curiouskira]

Lol I saw my ex the other day and I was debating whether to say hi and when he got close to me he just started walking real fast and passed me. I just want to thank him here for saving me from my internal dilemma

[jorobinson]

Thanks Matthew.I used these tips yesterday and they really helped. Could've got triggered at one point, but just let it go as I'd sat on the train to the venue and wrote out my gratitude list, what gives my life meaning, and what I'm excited about. It really helped to calm the disquieted mind...
Cheers, Jo.

[caitlinherzog]

Definately needed to hear this. I secretly wish to never and to always see my ex and his new gf. Especially since he cheated on me with her. But all I know is that both scenarios won't mend my broken heart and how used and hurt he made me feel

[victoriamilazzo]

Now I understand why I'm in so much pain every day when I have to go to classes and see all of my old friends that dropped me for no good reason. I'm in pain every day and I don't know how to stop it from hurting. It's not like I can just drop these classes because I want to succeed in my life, but having to see them every day hurts so much. This semester is over in 2 weeks and I can't wait to have a month off from seeing them. I hope during that time I can heal and it will hurt less come September.

[abeille]

"we're leaving in a couple of hours"

*MATTHEW'S FACE*

...hilarious

[kellyw]

Matthew you are so gifted. You're insights come from a place of both intelligence and empathy. You are a true healer. Thank you for sharing this gift

[JulieRoseCook]

Great advice, Matt! I will see my ex in a few days. I feel that I am emotionally ready to see him. I understand there are two ways that this can end: 1) He will want to date me again or 2) I will finally get the closure I need to truly move on (this break up happened about a month ago where there wasn't much of a definite ending). If I do choose to date him again, I promised myself to take things slowly...I do like him, but I am unsure about having a relationship with him. So, I just promised myself to have coffee with him if things work out for us...but if it doesn't end in coffee...I will be just fine. I will focus on my life without him and just breathe. Rejection is God's protection and I will stay strong and confident. By the way, Matt, I feel that most guys and even women, don't know how to be in the relationship they want to be in...good thing is that I am more focused on what I want and good things will happen in my life.

[v]

Need to be emotionally fit before you see him.
Make a list of all of the things in your life that are meaningful to you that have nothing to do with him.
It could be a list about the things you’re grateful for, a hobby you’re enjoying, your goals you’re excited about, etc.
Remind yourself about how much you have in your life that have nothing to do with this person.
Proximity to them can make emotional pain deeper/ blown out of proportion.
If you don’t know what gives your life meaning then when you see him your brain will trick you and at that’s the thing which gives your life meaning.
You need to know you’re armed with all of the great things in your life to begin with.
Don’t try to play that you’re all cool and that you don’t care and that you are fine. Just be authentic when you get there. If it’s a little awkward and weird it is what it is. If you’re near him it’s okay to say that ‘it’s awkward to be here like this’.
When you admit to this and you on it, you give this feeling less power.

[rafaelrivas]

Thank you so much! I really needed this.
I didn't know the part when you said "own it", and "it's a little difficult being here together". It's incredible, I have to admit how painful it is still the breakup for me, even when she moved on like immediately. :/

[Lam-lllh]

Perfect timing!! Great advice!! You've saved me so many times and for that I am indebted to you. I'm very lucky to have found you. Thanks Matt!!

[Biedronecqa]

look who's all happy and flirty almost as if you had a few shots before the program; )

[KrisKubric]

Such a wise man with awesome understated fashion sense! Thanks YouTube for suggesting him to me.

[EmilyGloeggler]

I find that all you need is God. As long as you seek Him, He alone can get you through, even when its difficult, heartbreaking, agony, etc. Every day I still miss the ex I dumped and that I'm a fool for not going back to him, but then, by admitting that, it feels cathartic and I don't have to go back. I move on without the ex.

[Azisme]

Personally, I gently acknowledge & move on. I recently saw an ex at a local park, he passed me a few times on his bike. We looked at each other for a split second, I gave a slight smile, & kept playing with my friends dog. No reason to be weird, but I also didn’t want to give him the wrong impression since I ended things last year.

[AllThingsSoul]

Not sure I agree here. If you feed the negative, it grows. I'd smile, say hello, how are you, and keep walking. No need to focus on that negative "awkwardness." Show this person you are strong and the hurt was short lived, as in one night. 1-and-done. Stick to having positive energy not only in front of them, but all day long. Fake happy feelings until you have them. Leave that person wondering if they ever had an impact on you, because the truth is, in a few months, it will feel like they never did.

[breanna]

When i dumped my ex it ended very badly. No details but lets just say he made me leave my "second home" cause he hung there too. But i still go visit there whenever we have an event. I ran into him for the first time in months and i can tell you, that emotional ready is very important. I was ready but he wasn't. So while i enjoyed my time there and was respectful of him he ran and purposefully bothered me to try and make me uncomfortable. Be yourself and remember why you are there, whether you know ahead of time or just a run-in at the supermarket. You guys broke up for a reason, move on from the break up but don't forget why you did. It can work the same way with past friendships.

[RosannaMiller]

Loved the question and answer. Matthew always seems to pick up on things that quite often I cannot explain for myself as clearly as I'd like.

[itsyaboyb]

I really appreciate you acknowledging it can genuinely be awkward. I ran into mine yesterday, after a year and we both were like dumbstruck.

I grounded myself as I am now, not then, and aside from brief word vomit, I feel a lot less self-judgy hearing it’s okay if there was awkwardness, since I was mindful, and no one expects that in the first place.