7 Types Of Invalidating Toxic Parents - Role Play

In this video we cover: validation, role-plays, role-play, rp, roleplay, therapy, healing, self-healing, journaling ,toxic relationships, triggers, childhood trauma, inner child, inner child work, c-ptsd, ptsd, toxic parents, narcissistic abuse, assertion, mind reading, moods, healing, abusive parents, emotional abuse, childhood ptsd, repressed memories, hypervigilance, narcissistic parents, emotionally abusive parents, child abuse, narcissistic father, childhood emotional neglect, abuse, narcissistic mother, NPD, BPD, dysfunctional family

Chapters:
0:00 Intro
0:50 Feedback and Validation in the Toxic Family
1:41 Inner Child and Adult Issues With Validation
2:44 Connect With Me
3:23 Validation Triggers - Causes and Effects
5:39 My Work Trigger Example
7:50 What to Look For in This Role-Play
9:41 The Scenario - The Work Problem
11:21 The Work Problem - #1 Takes Their Side - (You're the Problem)
12:03 The Work Problem - #2 You End Up Taking Care of Them (I'm the Real Victim)
13:05 The Work Problem - #3 Talks About Sibling or Someone Else (Only they Matter)
13:56 The Work Problem - #4 What Do You Want Me to Do About It (Suffering Competition)
14:26 The Work Problem - #5 Let's Make It Worse For You (Live in Doom Like Me)
15:25 The Work Problem - #6 You're My Audience Now (Disorganized Attention Seeking)
16:49 The Work Problem - #7 Can't Right Now...busy (Avoidant Parenting)
17:23 The Work Problem - #8 Healthy Validation
18:54 How do These Parents "See" Their Children?
20:11 Healthy Validation Explained
24:47 Journaling Prompts - Homework
28:35 Final Thoughts
28:50 Outro

Learn more about Patrick Teahan,
Childhood Trauma Resources and Offerings

MUSIC IS BY - Chris Haugen - Ibiza Dream

⚠️ Disclaimer

My videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice. It is not intended to replace the services of a therapist, physician, or other qualified professional, nor does it constitute a therapist-client or physician or quasi-physician relationship.

If you are, or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

If you are having emotional distress, please utilize 911 or the National Suicide Hotline
1-800-273-8255

[bonemelt]

"Don't look for healing at the same feet of those who broke you."
-'rupi kaur'

[stephaniem]

The words I remember as a kid are "life isn't fair" and "the world doesn't revolve around you"

[peacefulpossum]

I’ll never forget telling my mom I was being bullied in school, and she told me to just ignore them. That was it. No empathy. No compassion. It was so dismissive. I never went to her with my problems again, and I’ve had a life-long hesitancy to share my feelings and problems with others.

[marijabu]

My son was killed by a drunk driver. At the time I was taking care of my aging toxic narcissistic mother in her home. I broke down crying one day while making dinner for her. She asked, "what's the matter with you?" I said I was missing my son. She replied, " you should be over that by now. He had passed only two weeks prior.

[kellys]

I'm so glad that you included the Healthy Validation because so many of us didn't know what that even looks like.

[dandanbear]

I binge watch these videos so to be extra aware of how I treat my babies. Thank you. Breaking these generational curses.

[fudgesticklebear]

It's so heartbreaking how alien the healthy validation scenario feels.

[Peyton]

I think my parent's tendencies to never take my side or empathize with me has had a big part in my tendency to hide my stresses and concerns and difficulties opening up. And also a terrible tendency I have to exaggerate when I *do* open up, because I am worried about the other person siding with the other party, even when I know I am right.

[JW-pbfg]

I used to say IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM AND YOU SHARE IT WITH MY MOTHER, THEN YOU HAVE TWO PROBLEMS: YOUR ORIGINAL PROBLEM PLUS MOM’S REACTION TO IT (which was usually hysteria or some other highly needy childish over the top insane emotion and even crazy behavior). Basically, her response required that I take care of her. I eventually just stopped telling her about difficult things in my life. Which eventually led to no communication with her at all.

[rebelpunx]

The fact that I imagined myself in the situation and said to myself "I would never tell my parents if I have problems at my job" tells everything doesn't it?

[acureforcuriosity]

I remember clearly writing 5 things on notecards that I felt were stumbling blocks as a young teen - weight, driving, dating - things I wanted help with, saw as interconnected issues, and tearfully brought them to my mother for her to help me pick one and help me make progress. She laughed the whole thing off, my earnestness, and I feel like that's sort of set the tenor of our relationship for the next 20 years.

[jayleighlewis]

"It's your fault for getting into a situation where others are taking advantage of you. How could you be so stupid?" (A gem from my father)

[steviecrow]

“There’s no free lunch in this world and I’ve been telling you that since you were six.” Oh. My. God. This is gold.

[AshiixElainexx]

"We would bond through negativity or complaining." My family did this as well and eventually I gave it a name - pissing contest. Basically the goal was who could be the most self-pitying to the point where the discussion stopped.

[jenrich]

"casual betrayal" breaks children's hearts and they often never feel protected and safe at home

[rubycubez]

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and autism at 41. When I shared this with my mom, she used one of her go to responses---"everyone suffers. Life is hard because of what's going on these days".

I want to break the phone when I talk with her.

[shelleyisntreal]

TAKES THEIR SIDE!! It took me a while to recognize this- but no matter what the situation…people she doesn’t know, strangers…if I tell her anything that happened in my life, she ALWAYS takes their side, and I must have been in the wrong.

[brandlynnyoung]

My favorite lines...

"You aren't depressed, you just need to quit feeling sorry for yourself."

"Quit blaming your bad mood on "depression". You could control it if you wanted to."

"Why are you in such a bad mood? Where have I failed as a parent? You are just being a disrespectful bully!"

"Oh, you have it bad, don't you? You have a nice bed, food to eat, a place to live. We let you join band/chour/ROTC and this is how you treat us?"

"Quit using depression as an excuse! You just need to pray harder!"

[a_duel]

My father has always made the way he sees me very, very clear. Incapable, irresponsible, inefficient, lazy, ungrateful, and over-emotional.
Imagining him talking to me the way you showed the healthy validation in this video brought me to tears. I can’t imagine what that would feel like.

[kamalalove]

The doom parent, painting the child as entitled loser, felt so natural that I really struggled to see the toxicity. Wow.
Thank you 🙏🏼