6 Types Of Toxic Family Dynamic

Most families have that one family member or relative who people try to avoid. But, toxicity can also describe family systems. In this video, we talk about some examples of toxic family dynamics.

DISCLAIMER: If you can relate to any of these signs, please do not take this feedback as an attack on your character. This video was meant to be a self-improvement guide for those of you who have been feeling a little stuck.

Writer: Sara Del Villar
Script Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Tris Canimo
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

REFERENCES:

[AsaruDarkrose]

And don't forget the "protect the abuser and criticise the victim" type of family....

[yesha]

I love how parent's say "I keep an roof under you're head" "I pay the Bill's in this house" "I feed you" isn't that what you're supposed to do💀 that's literally what being an parent is about!

[monicagonzalez]

“Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles it takes away today’s peace” ♥️

[feufeu]

1- Picture perfect family 0:32
2- Disconnected family 1:23
3- Chaotic family 2:02
4- Child-Parent dynamic 2:44
5- Messy slit family 3:44
6- Co-dependent 4:17

Have a good day everyone !

[_ao]

Mine's the disconnected family. It's like we're strangers living in the same house.

[floydblandston]

When my sister and I were young, our parents pitted us against each other as proxies to the grievances between themselves- because of this we fought and argued constantly. After some time away from each other (and our parents) due to college and etc., we all got back together again for a big family Christmas, and- sure enough- her and I began arguing again.

....and then we stopped, and both began laughing- we didn't have to do this anymore!😂
WE actually liked each other, and had outgrown the need to 'perform' for our parents. Our parents (unsurprisingly) were not amused by our personal growth and discovery, and spent much of the holiday in a snit, but we didn't care- we had outgrown our toxic childhood. Good luck and best wishes, everyone!

[etrevil]

The amount of times I keep looking for different cameos/references from other medias is hilarious now.

[lightyourway]

Absolutely correct and if around others they pretend to be the best parents and siblings. If no audience, their true side of self serving ways as well as not accepting of the child. A codependent child develops.

[khalilahd.]

Chaotic family survivee here. I think you guys hit the nail right on the head and it’s honestly a reliefs. Now I understand why I am the way I am. I’m working through these issues and trying to heal from them. I wish the same for others who related to anything of these dysfunctional family dynamics. It’s hard but healing is possible 💜

[zacfox]

Growing up with my parents I experienced 5.5/6 traits. No wonder why I feel so disconnected from the world and can ever seem to hold down friendships or relationships very well as well as being a military family this says a lot about my parents.

[Nofaceguy]

My family used to be disconnected, but through tons of therapy that we’re still in today, we’re doing much better than before. It may be better, but it doesn’t mean that I still have issues from it. I also had an abusive grandma in my house, so that added to the stress in my childhood, but it’s better now. Also, said grandma is with the stars now.

[RegisteredNurseL.A.]

Disconnected 👋🏻 As crappy as it was, and still is because I’m in therapy for it, I learned to take care of myself at an early age and be ok in my own company. However, I find it hard to trust anyone and expect to be let down in some way or another

[sorawarrior]

It’s hard to describe which category my experience fell under, and it took a very long time for me to recognize that the family I grew up with was toxic. My parents were never married and I ended up being raised by my mom’s side of the family, but I saw my dad quite often.

My mother was always busy and didn’t spend much free time with me as much as she did with her close friends and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend…was someone who always made me feel uncomfortable being in the same building as him, and there have been experiences I couldn’t share here. The worst part was that my mom enabled these toxic and abusive behaviors towards me, and most of the time I was the one to be scolded or told that I was the one at fault and not the abuser. My grandma used to be someone that I could go to for comfort and have someone to be safe with when I couldn’t see my dad, but in the past couple of years she had changed and I was so alone in that house.

This had went on for most of my life and I was in a dangerous low point until I took a chance and left that house. My life isn’t easy being away from friends and the family that still matters, but at the least I am still alive. However, there are some days that I think back to those years and I end up pinning the blame on myself, believing that my parents would have been happier if I hadn’t existed.

[Cicada]

My family when my cousin had undiagnosed ADHD: “he might have autism”

My family when I had undiagnosed ADHD and BPD: “she might have autism”

My family when my brother had undiagnosed autism: “HES PERFECT! GOLDEN CHILD!!!”

[LunarBlossom-YueHua]

I wasnt parentified in a chore and responsibility kind of way but I certainly feel like the only emotionally sane person in the house who understands how destructive everyone is towards each other- and everyone cant see it!! no matter how much I try to tell them, to intervene to offer advice to be the one on one therapist, but a punching bag when a group fight breaks out- and when Im trying to be the middle man I get scapegoated again and again and again. Everyone is to blame, but I am somehow more to blame even if I am the only one apologizing for my faults and shortcomings.

families are really just a lottery at this point. You either win big or regret trying to have one at all.

[bazzfromthebackground]

My parents "think" we live in the picture perfect, but have no issues starting something in public and just pretending nobody sees it.

[vehement.]

Grew up with a co-dependant family which also seemed picture perfect then we ran away and it turned into every single other toxic traits (mainly child-parent dynamic and chaotic)

[floydblandston]

One of the most famous sentences in literature is the opening of Leo Tolstoy's novel Anna Karenina: "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

[HELyasss]

Ooh we're cutting it close to home tonight!

But, in all seriousness, despite me being in my mid 20s, over the past several years I've had to take on a parental role to my mom and it's gotten to a point where I'm sacrificing all of my happiness and experiences to take care of her. I recognize that it's toxic, but with my mom's physical condition deteriorating so rapidly in a short amount of time, I can't just leave the situation. I'm the only one she has.

[CircleOfLiife]

I can attest that a good amount of foreign parents check every single one of these boxes (minus the divorce one). It wasn't until I moved out that I realized how much healing I had to do from 20+ years of living this way and believing it to be completely normal.
2 years have gone by now since I've left and the healing has been done & I've come to accept it all, but the scars will never go away. Best we can do is not to pass-on all that's been passed down to us 👌🏾