The MOMENT An AVOIDANT Realizes They LOST You / What Will They Do?

How do avoidants process a breakup? What happens when it finally hits them that they've really lost you?

Dating/relationship expert Lucia explains what your avoidant ex is going through and what you absolutely must do if you want them back.

Lucia is an internationally known dating/relationship expert, author of "Lucia's Lessons of Love", former host of "The Art of Love" TV and radio shows, a syndicated columnist and keynote speaker.

She has over 100 major national and international TV and radio credits including Dr. Phil, The Tyra Banks Show, E! Entertainment, 60 Minutes Australia, The CBS Early Show, ABC 7 News, Good Day L.A and the KTLA News.

Lucia has been interviewed by numerous publications including Details, Business Week, Allure, Elle and media from Italy, France, Germany, Canada, Japan, the UK, Australia, Azerbaijan, Chile and Denmark.

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[beavis]

I don't have the time, patience or energy that I used to have for people with mental issues, I need to get on with my life and focus on myself from now on.

[pyxl]

Avoidants are absolute idiots for thinking "omg I lost them" months afterward when in reality it was their own fault for shutting down and pushing the person they claimed to love away. They didn't lose them - the avoidant literally threw them away. They made the conscious decision to emotionally destroy their partner.

[agaasbury]

4 months of no contact. I stayed firm. I also ended things because he was not ready to commit. He came back after 4 months and said he missed me, thought about me the whole time we were not together, no one compared to me (no one even came close), and yes, he even missed my dogs, lol. Now he is all lovely dovey and a completely different man. Miracles do happen.

[NewyJon]

Problem with avoidants is, they will discard you over and

[ralucamera]

This doesn’t work with all people. Some people just refuse to feel. They are empty on the inside.

[rickmailloux]

My ex is a severe fearful avoidant. 4 1/2 months of no contact today, she selfishly broke up via text and no word from her since. Remember that no contact is for us, not them. When you deal with an avoidant, it’s not your fault, don’t take the blame, stay strong, and believe and know that we all deserve much better!

[pj]

My ex gf is a dismissive avoidant and i dropped off the face of the earth 24 months now! Zero Contact!! She know's nothing about me! Not a peep from her! I'm not waiting for her and am fully healed now.

[dant.]

Just don't date an avoidant. Find someone with a healthy personality and attachment style. An avoidant may come back but you will most likely be in the same situation somewhere down the line.

[BlackFamManagement]

I dont know if I want them back, I just want the pain to go away. And try what I have learned with someone else.

[priscillarose_]

6m of no contact I’m proud of myself. I am self aware, that I have anxious attachment style / he is the dismissive avoidant . I have realized that I didn’t need him . I am actually doing better. I’m not missing out on anything. Just live life in peace . I detached from the idea and illusion I once had.

[marekknieshtschav]

I watched your channel to get an ex back, ended up finding someone that's far more in tune with me after I improved from my needy approach to relationships. Things always work out in the end for us dumpees.

[ezellohar_caranthir]

Took me 8 months to peel myself off her. Hardest thing ive ever done. I reached out a couple of times after a few months, which is reasonable, as far as I am concerned, as an adult. Games are stupid af. Eventually, I carved her out of my system.

Best thing you can do is abandon the idea of them at all and give up on the delusion. That's what it was. The person you fell in love with doesnt exist.

[wmhhealth]

13 months zero contact. I don't want her.

[angelicafoster]

My ex is anxious and she dumped me, i'm an avoidant and i lost my mind when i felt she was gone. This is absolutely true. And i think i lost her forever.

[jenuwineblu]

I’ve been in no contact since Jan 1 st 2024 We was together for 14?yrs. I’m so proud of myself for staying silent. He does try to get my attention through social media. And memes & pictures. But I pay that no attention. I’m new to this page and have lots to learn.

[MCAS]

My ex broke up with me the first time and I went silent. We had a good relationship and she said she did not think I cared. I think she started bread crumbing and I slowly talked and eventually we discussed it and cleared things up. Everything was good then a few weeks later she breaks up again. I was floored. Said she had no feelings for me. Well she gets an academy award because she acted like everything was good. Kissing hugging holding hands then it’s over. I do want her back. She is a good person we were a good match but maybe she has some issues from the past. Have been silent a month and a half now. Still nothing. I won’t lie I’m nervous about it but if they don’t return I will have to move on. Good luck to anyone wanting their ex back.

[charltoncooper]

Almost a week into no contact. I will never date an avoidant again. She has alot of male friends and never put effort in the "relationship". Best decision I've ever made.

[RudiiAnn]

My ex is like a Archie bunker, he isnt a lovable type of guy. 5 years of just putting my feelings aside i couldn't anymore. We never talked about a future, i was just supposed to know i guess. I want to be told he loves me i want to be held😢 i made him leave 3 weeks ago. He did reach out for stupid things he needed to get, i gave it to him, i kept my distance and went right back to no contact. Its killing me😢 today has been the worst for me, ,

[polo]

Yeah. After she broke up with me she reached out after five weeks. We got back together, she became completely different person. She was not distanced anymore, she was warm, loving and caring. Bit it lasted only for a year and she discarded me obruptly with pure resentment and hate because of absurd and not true reasons created on her sick head. Avoidants never change! Don't take them back! You will be dumped again!

[opinionatorX]

I broke it off with two avoidants and they both broke contact weeks and months after. I blocked every method of contact. It would have been a waste of time to allow them back. They weren't ready to change.