7 Ways Narcissists Discard You

When you are in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, it is only a matter of time until they discard you. It may be a full discard, a partial discard, or a temporary discard. In this video, I will explain the different ways a narcissist might discard you.

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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on YouTube are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach and reassure without revealing private information about individuals.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.

Introduction (0:00)
1: Abrupt Discard (0:42)
2: Devaluation Discard (1:38)
3: Replacement Discard (2:23)
4: Rinse & Repeat Discard (3:26)
5: Emotional Discard (4:01)
6: Conditional Discard (5:04)
7: Smear Campaign Discard (6:07)
The Full Discard (7:40)
5 Questions for you to Reflect On (9:10)

#npd #covertnarcissist #narcissist #narcissism #narcissistic #bpd #borderline

[donaldgansky]

My discard was the best thing that happened to me. I’m glad she’s gone. I now know what I didn’t know.

[garnuth]

I recently escaped a relationship with a full blown narcissist 6 months ago and it's everything you described in this video. Even though I was in it for only over a year, by the end I felt completely demoralized and exhausted. Although it's depressing thinking about all the time and energy I put into meeting her needs, not to mention the enormous amount of money wasted, I do feel better that I escaped. She was such an awful person, but the last thing I told her before I was happily discarded was "I see now why all of your relationships have failed." That didn't sit well with her. Good riddance, Nina.

[truckerstu]

After 26 years I went through every step in this video.
For the last 2 years I have been learning and understanding what my life had been.

[sebrura]

You are damn right. Once the new target was acquired, it was over. I realized she had cheated on me (physically) all years. These people are pure evil.

[carolentringer]

1. abrupt ghosting
2. devaluation - demeans and criticizes
3. replacement discard- shift affection and attention to the replacement
4. Rinse and repeat- devalue, manipulate, then Hoover
5. Emotional discard- cold, indifferent, stonewalling. Will stay in relationship for social status, financial reasons, convenience
6. Conditional discard - you must serve
7. Smear campaign

[hurricaneaquatics]

I've been through all these, with same spouse, and for decades I was so confused as to what was happening. She was unlike anyone I had ever met and not in a good way.
It isn't a discard, but if you bring up something you want to talk about and they don't (they never do), mine will say things like "Well if you feel that way, we don't need to be together" "We just need to divorce if you're going to keep arguing every day".
You're not arguing, you're trying to communicate and solve things that are hurting you like a normal adult. That's never happening with a narcissist. They threaten to leave to scare you into shutting up. It's a threat that you better not bring up any more feelings, issues, etc. with them. It's absolute insanity and the older they get, the more delusional they become.
Thank you, Lise. Your videos have helped me tremendously.

[tonymartos]

I feel like I’ve gone through several different forms of this. Luckily, I’ve been out now for almost two years. When that final discard came from her, it was a blessing.

[OnderHassan]

My ex narc spotted me while I was at the bus stop waiting to catch my bus and discovered that she ran a public smear campaign against me on social media a few hours later accusing me of stalking.

The lengths that these people go to at trying to destroy you is unimaginable.

[qyqnnix]

I remember that she kept me in a sort of limbo, the month before I was the perfect man, the next I was a monster. I had Ptsd and I was going crazy I asked her for clarification but in addition to her circular arguments she also refused to see me, she made excuses. At one point I said "it's me or her", I texted her goodbye and blocked her even though it's not something I would usually do, but she really pushed me over the edge, I spent months, years feeling guilty and wondering if I was the narcissist.

[LeeEverett]

I got the ghost treatment while in a relationship for 7 months, after a small argument she blocked me everywhere and immediately got on dating apps days later; never said a word that we were done or she wanted out. I spent a week wondering if I even still had a girlfriend. I just can't imagine doing this to another person I was committed to, it's cruel and absolutely the worst breakup psychologically I've ever experienced because I gave so much to her that like no has before.

Thankfully I never begged or tried reaching her by other means outside the block, I'm quite disgusted at how she left and discarded me that I had no incentive to reach out because I did nothing wrong. She lost me and I'm thankful it happened now and not years down the line if we had kids and such.

[brianmaginnis]

Ah, Lise. You are such a balm for the mistreated, those of us who didn't know anything. But now do.

[edwong]

Abrupt discard does not necessarily need to be ghosting. Two covert narcs I knew had to continue with their false pretenses and framed the discard as something benign to make themselves look generous and beyond reproach.

[oachie]

Lise, you nailed it!!!!
Once you see one covert, you cannot unsee other coverts.
They are textbook toxic blah and counterfeits.

[bruceb]

After 4 months of marriage my wife did all of this..
It blew my mind.
Im still trying to figure it out.
It destroyed me for a few months, she left and ghosted me. No communication, movers showed up to get her belongings and 4 weeks later I was served with divorce paper's.
We never had any big arguments, no abuse.
I had boundaries and she didnt like them . I think she got bored and moved on? She was a master at never answering a direct question. She would couch it by stating "i have to think about that." Days and weeks would go by with no amswer. If i objected I was the bad guy. She did not like being accountable.

Im now struggling with intense bitterness. I kick myself for not seeing all the red flags at the start. I saw them...i just ignored them. I was a fool.

As each day goes by i realize im glad she is gone.

[michaelmoore]

Lise is an incredibly intelligent and educated person: the analytical powers, the ability to identify problems and offer solutions, the depth of insight, the eloquence, the ability to summarize well and connect everything into a coherent whole...hats off!!

[demigaines]

Hi Lise Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This I Needed To Hear This I Was Recently Discarded Cruelly After Being Used
Again By The Narcissist I’m So Tired Of This Merry Go Round Game Of The Narcissist This Person Has Destroyed My Life My Self Confidence My Self Worth.Narcissistic Abuse Is A Crime.Its So Incredibly Cruel How Narcissists Go Around Destroying Innocent Victims Lives For There Entertainment.Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal….

[kevinkubiak]

Thank you so much Lisa! This is exactly what happened to me....first it started off great...never wanted the nights to end....then three months later....3 or 4 days of ghosting. No explanation why. Then the discard...she had started another relationship. The things she said were EXACTLY what you said she would say! Wow!!! Devalued me...bored with me...I forgave her and gave her another chance until she did it again while we were out one night. I ended up leaving her at bar in order to just stop it. I'm so glad I watched this. While never a couple...she used me emotionally. Now she's in a serious relationship that started the weekend after this happened. I feel so down about it. I hope this opens up some daylight in my life. I cannot even look at another woman right now.

[DanielHernandez-plwc]

My ex wife discarded me with all of these methods. I hope she doesn’t ever try to Hoover me again after this recent discard. Now that I’m educating myself, I will not fall for it. Everything is a lie.

[susanfernandez]

My husband did all but two of these methods of discard on me. The two that he didn't do were the abrupt discard and the complete discard. He was way too cowardly to totally discard me because that would have damaged his "religious, upstanding citizen " facade so instead he just treated me with such rejection and indifference that I finally ended it and left him 7 months ago. He is still trying intermittently to hoover me back but I will never go back to that hell again.

[JohnSmith-wons]

I experience more than one discard, from the very start every other week she'd end things, I never knew if we were on or off? She also tried the ultimatum discard where I had to sign her manifesto of new rules!! I didn't. Then finally her behaviour became worse and worse and she just said she wanted something different to what we had. Went silent for a year but still tries to act friendly for when she needs help with her chaotic life. I wont be helping her anymore.