7 Stages Of Detoxing From A Covert Narcissist

If your romantic relationship with a female covert narcissist has ended, you may be struggling in a way you've never experienced before. You may feel even worse now than you did when you were in this toxic relationship. In this video, I explain the stages you will likely go through after a break-up with someone with NPD or untreated BPD.

Link to video transcript:

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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on YouTube are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach and reassure without revealing private information about individuals.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.

Introduction (0:00)
1: Disbelief (1:30)
2: Replaying (3:42)
3: Self-Doubt (5:18)
4: Anger & Blame (6:44)
5: Research (8:13)
6: Acceptance (10:48)
7: Healing (12:45)

#narcissist #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism, #femalenarcissist

[Stephchang-dl]

Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them.

Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter.

We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :)

[AynenMakino]

I'm impressed to finally see a youtube therapist able to argue against her own interests for the sake of the person needing help! To tell your viewers that there's a point at which you need to stop watching videos like this, rather than to champion the success of your own channel. You get my bonuspoints today! Well done!

[luissalinas]

I'm on stage 6... This was the worst experience of my life. I pray for everyone one of you who is going through this.

[jamesyoung]

The most common 'baggage' one leaves an abusive relationship with a narcissist is the realization that they did not have the awareness to assess a person's character well.

[primalway]

The absolute best revenge is to NOT EVEN SEEK IT OUT...

The best exit map
- Excuse yourself politely,
-leave with dignity and class, peaceful
- embrace the hurt,
-find a place to cry and greive in private,
- GRIEVE for however long you need, let it out and leave it there. Lick your wounds, heal . Don't let your wounds bleed on those who didn't cut you...got it!?
-recalibrate your focus and purpose -and go full speed ahead without her... onward and upward

[jaimhaas]

That discard phase truly is brutal. Many of us that are empaths can't ever imagine treating an intimate partner in this fashion. It's beyond soul crushing.

[MrJom]

Man this is so accurate. I got discarded without any explanation or attempt to understand and went absolutely crazy. Suicidally depressed. Blaming myself. Wondering what I could've done, should've done. Just a never ending list of fault-finding, analyzing, and wrongdoing on my part. Like an addict in withdrawal, desperate for answers, I couldn't stop isolating. I couldn't trust literally *anybody*. How could someone I loved so deeply, cared so much about, do this? Well then anybody could. It's been an absolutely brutal journey. I am grieving. Very broken and hurt. And yet she is happy to be all eat pray love, as if I was nothing. It was sick. I have come to realize that she was a very wounded person (myself included) and all I can do is take responsibility for myself. I am not perfect, by any means. But blaming oneself for loving someone, caring for someone, being committed to someone - what is the use in that? This has been an incredible reframe. Real love expects nothing in return. So if even if you loved your ex, if it was real love, it shouldn't drive you insane anymore because real love doesn't need anything, or want anything. It gives willingly and moves on. Love yourself, guys. It's time.

[djmadwax]

You just described April 2023 - August 2023. I had already suspected it wasn’t me because she accused me of being a narcissist and I started reading books and said wait a minute. Then I came across your 10 stages of discard video and my jaw dropped. Everything clicked. Thank you for doing this. Blessings!

[JohnSmith-wons]

Closure is impossible from somebody who is never wrong, can never apologise and who lies thru her teeth.

[vicarofrevelwood]

Anybody who reads this I want to tell you something as a piece of advice. Do not ever look foreclosure, don't look for it from a NPD, don't look for it from a BPD, don't look for it through a normal woman who is wrapped up in her own sophistry. Seeking closure is nothing more than pain shopping! You're never going to get an answer out of them, at least one that makes sense. Just take what you have learned, take your life back into your own hands, and move on.

[anthonyrist]

Amagine being with the same woman 45 years, we both came from disfunctional families. Ran away together at 16, worked my ass off, finally get my house paid off, and bam, she hates my guts and keeps claiming im the narcissist, now living in a 400sq feet apartment. Sorry just venting. This will be almost impossible to move on at 62, all i ever new was this life with her. Good luck everyone.

[Unknown-t]

I cried in my truck today when I chose to remove myself from her bank account…this is the worst feeling in the entire world. I deleted all my photos of her, post on social media…this woman is my wife. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to divorce her, even though it kills me thinking of doing that. I never want to feel like this again.

[toneman]

Living with my covert narcissist wife was like living in the twilight zone where up was down and clocks ran backwards...completely insane!

[stephenherrington]

I feel... a relief, comfort and a sorrow at the same time knowing that there are guys out there that know EXACTLY how I feel and what I've been going through. I literally don't have to explain or go into detail because yall seriously already know and understand.

[etiennedelaunois]

Thank you to acknowledge the suffering that men can go in an abusive relationship.

Here in the UK, everything is done to give power to female abuser!
If you have a child with them and dont want to give up on those kids you need to keep in contact and they use this to destroy your life!
I'm so happy to see that I'm not alone and that finally there is at least one woman in this world that acknowledge that men suffering are not a minor problem or something laughable!

I need this! WE need this!

Guys! Let's get out of their craziness!

Let's build a castle that they will never be able to get in!

Dont let them put what you do for your kids down!

[shivansh_kr._]

Probably the best video that told my exact experience with my narcissistic ex from 3 years ago. Yes it took me 3 years to heal from that traumatizing experience and I am still at the stage where no one new feels as exciting or as addictive as my ex. Looks like I gotta do some work on myself to start to desire normal people with no personality disorders. You earned a new subscriber. Liked and Subscribed 👍

[EricBrown-ospo]

The research phase was important to me. It lasted for about 4 years, but I learned that the ex was a narcissist, right out of the mold. It helped to learn that she is that way because of self-loathing, and that she will never, ever change. I’m several years beyond the nightmare now, and much happier, able to enjoy peacefulness and goodness in things once again. This video validates that I wasn’t the only one who has gone through the living hell of a female narcissist. Thanks, Lise!

[jameshiggins]

This all happened to me exactly like a playbook. Three years out working on my healing. It’s been the hardest period of my life by far. It’s forced a lot of my childhood trauma into the light as well. Getting stronger by facing deep pain. Grateful for videos like this to put it all in perspective.

[BoloBouncer]

She would check in every few hours to "make sure you're ok." She claimed to worry about me but never actually cared what I felt, just that she still had my attention and focus. Nearly every conversation in our years talking was about her.

[warriorpoet]

Yes perfectly described. Took me ages to break away and when I did I knew that all she had to do was turn up and I’d be screwed. Now that I’m well and truly away I can see just how utterly evil she was.