7 Ways COVERT NARCISSISTS Tell On Themselves

Covert narcissists can be hard to spot at first because they tend to wear a mask and pretend to be caring and selfless. However, their true colors eventually come through in subtle ways. In this video, we'll discuss seven telltale signs that a covert narcissist's mask is slipping and they are revealing their self-focused nature.

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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

0:00 Introduction - Subtle red flags

1:13 Red flag #1 - White lie or warning sign?

2:06 What would you do in this situation?

3:01 Red flag #2 - How they use other people to abuse you

4:20 How triangulation manifests

5:10 Red flag #3 - What destroys a sparkle?

6:23 Have you experienced this?

7:01 Red flag #4 - Do reactions reveal truths?

8:12 A pattern in the reactions

9:06 Red flag #5 - Projecting their behavior

10:18 Accusing you of what they do

11:23 Red flag #6 - Lack of THIS is revealing

12:49 Recognizing the emotional disconnect

13:56 Red flag #7 - The hype about drama

15:06 Do you relate to the drama?

[jkevinparker]

They say they hate drama… perhaps because, while they are the drama, they actually hate themselves.

[johnanderson]

Coverts are the type of people that complain about ALL THE RAIN in their in life... not knowing that they are the STORM.

[Seraphim]

When they Hate Drama, they are Warning you that they Don’t want you to Fight Back or Stand up for yourself.

[kimhumiston]

Pay attention to how someone makes you FEEL, not what they say.

[Thewildwell]

I realized after my cover narcissist revealed himself, every single dysfunctional thing he described his exes doing was exactly what he was probably doing to them the entire time.

[kathleengrace]

Raised by a covert narcissist mother, finally went No contact a week ago. I am a 64 yr old woman who finally said enough, the guilt on my part is horrible but I finally have stood up for myself and said no more. My true work is just beginning. Stay strong out there and please don't waste anymore of your life on the manipulative tactics and pain.

[mfar]

“Focus on the lesson, not the pain”. Profound!

[justgeezer]

Technicaly they dont lie, but when they tell you stuff, they intentionaly skip some pieces, thats how they twist the story.

[StickNate]

I dated one last summer for about 4-5 weeks. That was enough. Initially, she portrayed some positive qualities and admiration to me. I was flattered. The more time we had shared, the more inconsistencies appeared.

I’ve worked as an ER Nurse for 16 years. I’ve met a lot of people who are and/or manipulative patients. I’ve never met anyone who acknowledges themselves as being narcissistic or accepting such a diagnosis. Narcissists do not hold themselves accountable.

I noticed this person seemed to have burned a lot of bridges. She also like causing drama between couples e.g. a neighbor and his wife. Her friend and her ex husband; different coworkers against each other. She liked to gather information and asked strange questions. It seemed like it was all for control.

The one I dated kept contradicting herself and would project an awful lot.

I was told “I have to walk on eggshells when I’m around you.” I Reflected on that and thought it was odd. It wasn’t consistent with any of my other relationships In contrast, I had to “walk on eggshells” with her.

She had a Meltdown when I left an exit ramp with my high-beams on. It was such an odd, overreaction. I addressed this immediately and she went into a hysterical rage.

She brought up all sorts of non-related sacrifices that she makes for others and how she’s not appreciated. She then listed off her accomplishments as if we were in a job interview. You can’t have a rational conversation with an irrational person.

[jmfs]

The best way to counteract a manipulator is to be radically honest with everyone around them. Not passive aggressive, but don’t shy away from exposing the manipulator’s words and actions right out in the open. Be a mirror to their disorder and they will run.

[virginiabraden]

I have discovered that two of the main red flags are that they do not apologize or say "thank you." Keep your own standards high for being kind, polite, considerate, and fair and you will easily know when you are experiencinging a narcissist.

[alethea]

Bad morals are bad morals. If you benefit from it, that’s no justification. And of course a liar is a liar.

[indiakxoxo]

Don’t dare get your life together while you have one in the picture. They will argue with you before important events to distract you away from accomplishing what you need to and handling what you need to. It’s very frustrating.

And yes don’t call them out on anything. Lol be blind to their faults.

[percystreet]

Everything, even simple stuff, is a drama to a narcissist, leading to really aggressive/passive aggressive exchanges….. truly exhausting

[karmabosman]

My mom always starts a fight with passive aggressive comments and when I defend myself she quickly says she doesn't want to fight! As though I'm the asshole for getting angry because she is disrespecting me.

Also she lies fluently, fluidly. If there is an argument, and I persist in pointing out things that she is doing, she denies every statement, even if she contradicts herself many times in one conversation. She will say anything, scramble for excuses to be blame free.

[CB]

I think narcissistic coping styles are generational in my family. I'm autistic but have engaged in some of these behaviours myself from copying people in my family. I can hear myself and have no idea why I say some of the things I do, then feel really bad. Currently going through the process of unmasking and not a moment too soon as I don't like the mask I've been using

[MrAnderson]

These people need deep seeded deliverance from great spirits of darkness and self torment.

[goodgameg]

They are very scary because they're always disguised as empaths

[adriannemcdevitt]

For the past 25 years my husband has been telling me that I don’t show enough emotion when we have an argument. I just get quiet and look at him. Then a couple of days ago, my husband said that we needed to talk and asked me if I could discuss it like an adult. I said that that was an insulting thing to say. He replied that I was getting emotional like I always do when we have a discussion. I said what the hell are you talking about? He said, “see, you’re already starting to curse.” So I said that I couldn’t deal with this and walked out of the room — no yelling, no slamming doors, no stomping. It’s terrible how emotional I get. I have never been a person who yells, screams, throw things, etc. And since having an autistic child, I’ve learned to really curb my emotions because my son is very sensitive to other people’s moods and emotions and will have a meltdown if I don’t remain calm, cool and collected. Talk about projecting!

[matamba]

She said she hates people who create drama but when I got to know her she created a lot of drama, it felt like I was with a reckless teenager and i saw other red flags. I have children and cannot expose them to such a toxic person. I left her 1 week ago and have blocked her everywhere. This feeling of liberation is amazing🕺