7 Ways To Tell If Your Partner Is Truly A Narcissist

In this video, I will give you 7 practical ways to tell if your partner is truly a narcissist, and give you the ultimate question to ask yourself when you're trying to decide whether you should stay or leave a relationship with someone who you suspect may be a covert narcissist.

If this video resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe so that others might find help in it as well! I would so greatly appreciate it. 💜

It's my intention that everyone who watches gets at least one important take-away. 🙏

About Me
Hi! I'm Lise Leblanc. I am a therapist, life coach, and author of 9 self-healing guides. I have over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

Introduction (0:00)
Relationship with a Narcissists (1:13)
7 Ways to Tell If Your Partner is a Narcissist (2:50)
The Top Reason to Leave (8:29)

#narcissist, #NPD, #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder, #covertnarcissism

[brianreed]

I've been out of it for over 2 years. I second guessed myself a lot. This video confirms it though I'm better off out of it. It really was horrible. I'm working on myself strengthening my boundaries. I can't do that again. It's way better to be alone then it is to lose yourself in a toxic relationship.

[freeman]

Wanted to take a second and say Thank You Lise, I am 53 yrs old male and have been married for 26 years. I am sitting at my desk fighting back tears (have been for weeks actually) I had no idea what covert narcissism was until about 3 weeks ago. My jaw has been in my lap every since! Video afrer video describing the life I've been living! I have since done the full blown YouTube search "tour" on the subject, just like you have desrcibed so many of us doing. I had moved out of our home about a month ago and stumbled on to the first video shortly afrer that. Funny thing is, I was searching for self help material on communication skills when I found the first Covert Narcissism Video. I had become convinced it was poor communication skills that had been causing all our problems. HA! That had to be it, it only makes sence I would think that after all the years of unknowingly being gas-lighted!! All our conversations turn into confussing unpredicable messes and ending with me pulling my hair out! And yes I do constantly feel like I'm walking on eggshells every day of my life, it's exhausting!! I have been struggling to decide if I should end our marriage for weeks now. As I've been educating myself on the subject I have begun to realized just how difficult it will be to leave her.(So so hard) I have been experiencing withdrawl symptoms in the form or panic attacks, general depression, anxieity, random bouts of anger, uncontrolable crying and a feeling of profound loneliness! Also the thought of my wife in horrible debilitating pain drives me back to her in my head every time. I actully loved her (as best I understand that emotion). Thank you for enlightening me that its not Love being reciprocated and Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! for these videos. Especially this last one. They seem to be my ONLY DEFENCE against the "trap" for now. Continuously, reminding me 1. I'm not crazy 2. Yes, she really is a Covert Narcissist (so surreal)(stunned disbelief). 3. She been this way for 26 years she is NOT going to change! I've decided not to go back, please pray for my resolve!
Post Script: You are very good at what you do, please don't ever stop your making a difference!! Thank you again!

[deronlester]

The worst part is them constantly accusing YOU of being abusive. I've spent nearly 5 years trying to "fix my wrongs, " have a 3 year old child involved, and was discarded on Christmas day this past year. It sucks guys. The constant, every single minute of the day doubting yourself and wishing you could do things differently, when deep down you don't think it would change a single thing.

[mjwmontgomery]

Yes, friends warning me, business dropping off, self confidence gone, silent treatment, being controlled, hot and cold behaviour, triangulation, isolation, constant requests for money, gifts. Was hoovered back in several times. Each time the same cycle restarted. Since we broke up, business is improving again and self confidence slowly coming back. But when she was nice, she was really nice.

[diogenes]

Your senses will deceive you but the heart never lies. Listen to your heart. One sided relationships are not relationships.

[ericaled]

If a friend said to you, "My partner is amazing but treats me like absolute shit one day a week" you would tell that person to leave their partner. It doesn't matter what mental illnesses or personality disorders they have. It's not ok. Get out.

[rizzlapauper]

I must keep away from her.... No matter how sad I am... I need the strength

[edwong]

The first time you caused them to feel shame (which can be anytime and entirely unintentional) is probably when the devaluing starts. Always pay attention to what they do and not what they say.

[jamesyoung]

The #1 indication that you are married to a narcissist is their ability to play the silent treatment game for months at a time and hold back information, intimacy and communication so you don't know what's going on with the family or kids, unless you have another source of information.

This usually accompanied by being forced into the marriage.

[lauracevik]

Great Information!! Thank you!!
How can you tell...? 9 Clues:
1) You are researching to see if the person is a narcissist or toxic. Your intuition is telling you something is wrong. If you think something is wrong, then it probably is...
2) You justify and excuse things that you know are not okay. Consult with an objective third party.
3) When you try to talk about your concerns, they will love and sex bomb you to avoid the discussion OR they will gaslight, deflect or intimidate you. You don't feel safe bringing up any complaint
4) You feel exhilarated and exhausted at the same time
5) You feel manipulated, lied to, deceived and controlled- as time goes on you should start keeping track
6) Your boundaries are not being respected- you feel you need even more boundaries. Lines are getting pushed back
7) No guilt or remorse or regret. Not focused on how it hurts you- more focused on how it hurts them
8) The relationship brings out the worst in you. Behaving in ways that are uncharacteristic of you. Feel like you are going downhill. The good comes with a huge dose of poison
9)The cycle will go on forever. You can't change them. Cycle continues to repeat itself. It is a cycle of abuse: A) LOVE BOMBING- Make you believe they are your soulmate, missing piece in our life B)DEVALUATION- confusing you, mask comes off, Cognitive DIssonance and Trauma Bonding to make you feel dependent. Schedule of intermittent reinforcement and punishment to confuse, control and manipulate C)EXPLOITATION- Drain you in every way D)DISCARD- wash their hands, find someone else and repeat the cycle.

[LuminaMindChannel]

"Like a drug, you get addicted to the very thing that is slowly and systematically killing you." So well said, and so true. Staying in a relationship like this is an actual ADDICTION as damaging to our heart, mind and soul as heroin, meth, cocaine, alcohol, gambling, etc.

[philiparmand]

I fell for a narcissist once. Thankfully I studied NLP, hypnosis and body language. I could see when she was lying and in her "crazy" mode. It lasted 3 months and was the craziest roller-coaster relationship I have ever had. The final straw was when she lied about where she had been one evening, the eyes always give a person away. I called her out and then full-crazy came out. I became very calm and watched her try and keep me from walking out. 1st with yelling, then crying, then trying to get intaimate with me. I just stared, un fazed, grabbed my few things and walked out. Turned out she was juggling a bunch of relationships while I was staying at her house. I sleuthed the guy she was with the evening I walked out, called him and he was shocked; to say the least. A few minutes later the crazy girl called me and said, "Do you know what you just did!? You ruined my life!"
I felt quite proud.

[seanheaney]

This is literally my current significant every single tick... we just had a good weekend and then today we were on the phone i brought up something that upset me and instantly she went for my throat over it i simply address something i was upset about. I noticed early on my father who has been a narc my entire life and her vibed well. They always together made jokes at my expense or ganged up on me and belittled me. She always played this off as not wanting to stick up for me and hurt the relationship as she put it we both cant be on the outs. I then watched her have a meltdown at a wedding i was the grooms man at because i wasnt spending time with her, yet i had all my responsibilities of being in the wedding. She made it a point to tell my entire family i wasnt doing well mental health wise. This got back to me much later.. she has EVERYONE played no one sees the sides i see. She told me before to tell people because im the crazy one who will believe me. Now for a couple months we have reached a stage where she is periodically and randomly freaking out mock ending the relationship when i speak up she comes back. It seems like whenever i feel good and start to consolidate control of any kind she has to take it. Something as small as a comment about an instagram post threw her into a tyriad. Every single time i try to communicate and rationally work through the issues in the relationship she ignores or avoids it. I asked her to stop mocking and belittling me yet she always floats back to harsh and self demeaning comments. The one day she attempted passive aggressive comments on 4 different topics in 20 mins until she hit the button. Then she said i was a lunactic and making it all up and this is why are relationship sucks. Im broke, out of shape, depressed.. the discard is coming accept w her its about not guys but a career..shes obsessed with " finding herself". Shes positioned herself with me a position of utter power she determines if i eat because my money pays my bills, my father also refuses despite living with me to even share a meal with me. The situation is shit and they both sent me to " get help" meanwhile they are ones who have manipulated and pressured me. The love bomb phase was about 1 year with issues in the back half of that year. By the 2nd year the situation got worse the belittling, mocking, manipualtion game started. By year 3 she is actively sorta trying to dump me but its a tactic because its the one thing she can trigger me on. Between year 2-3 lying kicked up. This was justified by saying it was for my own good so i didnt get upset. I tried to speak to people but they sided with her because she said i gave her no choice because i would get so upset, this is partially true but not one of those topics did she attempt to speak with me 1st.. her mother i believe is the narc that made her. That was another disasterous situation. She has EVERYONE believing her story her friends and her family, my family and even a few of my friends. She does this by going above and over for others..this wins her favors. People are stupid they all think because she does a few nice things for them shes amazing. She does it all for supply, attention and because it benefits her game. I cant believe this is the life i live and i let this happen. Im so stuck and in truth afraid.

If your reading this and you notice things i said happening please leave / she killed me with support and being my " caretaker " or whatever. It was all about making me look bad.. also - whenever i was depressed and having a really low day she wasnt even around she would find and excuse to ignore me or she would literally call and scream at me. Her and my father spent 3 years convincing me i was the issue and the problem 100% insane!

[brianrossiter]

Saw all seven in my last relationship. I can’t remember a good time that wasn’t surrounded by a rage fit, silent treatment, projection campaign, or a ghosting event.

[jans]

Get the hell out once you know! But don't tell. The female covert narcissist is the worst. I made excuses and believed it was hormones, or stress or other things. But this is a severe personality disorder and you are dealing with somebody who is extremely manipulative and good at acting but in reality has no empathy and no conscience. This is pure evil!

[brianreed]

We all have to remember the diagnosis is irrelevant. You can tell if you're being abused. Life's just too short to put up with that. Get out and be happy man!

[rcxstiw]

I don’t think a person who hasn’t experienced the toxic dynamic of living with a narcissist (or working with one) can understand the kind of insidious abuse that it involves. Not even reading the comments.

[Anamericanhomestead]

Wow, this video helps so much. I was widowed in 2019 and a year later I decided to open up and in she swooped. Grief does wierd things to you. All you want is your best friend back and I thought I'd found it. It's been almost as bad of an experience as losing my wife to cancer.

Finally she's out and you described her perfectly. I didn't know about narcissism at the time. Even now, she's trying to hoover me back in and even buying property nearby in order to convince the world that she wants to make it work. I've gone no contact and I'm sticking with it no matter what! My boundaries won't be crossed again. The thought of living alone for the rest of my life is like a ray of sunshine rather than go back to that poison roller coaster.

"I can see clearly now the rain is gone" 🎶

Thank you for this video. It sums up the madness quite nicely.

[flyprincess]

Been out 5 years and yes it was the most painful experience of my life post discard. The only way to get over it, is to go through it! Trust me, there’s a better life at the end of the tunnel.😊

[davidm]

Narcissism is on a spectrum just like autism.

On one side are people that are just a little annoying and usually do have empathy, and on the other side are the ones that have 0 empathy and purposely manipulate us and enjoy it.

I imagine that most narcissists are in the middle somewhere.

Personally I saw some pieces of it with my wife. I dismissed it because she had been a victim of narcissistic abuse and thought she could never be an abuser. She also had empathy sometimes (but can also turn it off like a switch).