The RED FLAGS You're Dating A Narcissist! Watch Out For This | Dr. Ramani

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[Max-xekg]

My Ex husband was being inappropriate with my sister-in-law when I called him out on it he flipped out and flew into a rage. I recorded it. That recording was one of the factors I used to help me to make the final decision to leave because one day while he was at work I played the recording and one of my dogs started crying and ran into a corner shaking. The other one stayed still as if she was paralyzed in fear. My heart was broken realizing how traumatized THEY were.

[RoyalKnightCurly]

Narcissists love leaving you hanging, especially when it comes to a dating relationship. And this means that sometimes they will literally force you to beg for their “love” and attention after extensive periods of time go by in which they basically ignore you. It helps them to feel worshiped and adored by making you fall on your knees and lavish them will love, while draining and exhausting you of your energy after spending days, weeks or maybe even months of trying to get in touch with the narcissist and reminding them of your commitment to them. What do you get in return? Love bombing for a little while, but then nothing at all for yet again a long period of time. And the mad cycle just goes on and on. It helps them to also stay in control of the relationship in a very covert yet detrimental way.

[alexu]

My ex husband insulted me constantly and I felt "less than" about my cooking, intelligence, appearance, weight, you name it.

My partner now is warm and caring and funny! AND he makes a practice of saying the absolute cheesiest pickup lines to me (despite us living together for the past four years.) Imagine waking up in the morning and hearing, "Ooh can I tie your shoes? I don't want you falling for anyone else" or cooking dinner and hearing, "You got fries to go with that shake?"

It's a small thing, but I smile all the time now, and we laugh.

Escaping my narc was the best thing I ever did. A long road, but one worth traveling.

[Bornintoclusterb]

Insults are a good way to discern toxic people. They are addicted to feeling superior to others, what better way to achieve that than to insult someone? Contempt is behind even those little digs, the ones they say are “just” jokes. We must always be on the lookout for these signs because narcissism is a compensatory drive. Once you grasp that, you make sense of nonsense. Can you tell I loved this video? Thank you Dr. Ramani one of these days I’m giving you the biggest hug. Get ready! 😉✨

[jennifermollett]

Long emails where I have poured my heart out that are ignored and never acknowledged. Never any resolution to any issues.
No point as everything was always my fault.

[buffster]

I think the combination of dementia and narcissism is one of the hardest and most dangerous to come across with regards to gaslighting (especially for the adult children who have never really realised that the parent is narcissistic, and then also have to deal with dementia for the first time). It's so hard to balance that, if you haven't got the "emotional kung-fu" of Dr. Ramani!

[innerworkshealing]

No one should ever doubt Dr. Ramani’s expertise. You always nail it. You describe my experiences better than I can myself. I was so guilty of this. Thought out, insightful, and empathetic emails that just resulted in me feeling more hopeless, angry, and heartbroken. This video was a reminder of the constant gaslighting and neglect that I lived w daily. Narcs are so predictable, I finally understand that.

[Jess-knvl]

Around 2010, I wrote my mother long, articulate, honest and calm emails pleading and explaining myself. Long story short, about 5 years later of keeping in contact my memory, concentration and health were declining. Been no contact for 3 years and found its the only way!

[stacygyuricza]

I've experienced all of these. It's truly CRAZY how narcissistic people act!

[susanlewis]

My sister's email reply to my long email: "Thank you for your input." It sent chills down my back. I knew the storm was brewing.

[Lttnggo]

Oh that is priceless, Dr. Ramani! "Insults are the love language of the narcissist." Thank you!

[sleepydragonzarinthal]

My favorite is the ambiguous dialogue so even if you keep texts, record what they say or have witnesses "oh, thats not what I meant, I was saying blah blah blah" and trust me, they're pro rationalizers, which I countered by being extra thoughtful in what I say, and asking for clarification on everything they say to eliminate all possible ambiguity. A non-narcissist will try to be more clear moving forward when they realize you REALLY want to understand them. A narcissist will just get angry and push you away

[Bornintoclusterb]

Oh how I love you Dr. Ramani. Like a fine wine, you just get better and better. Please know that I’m committed to paying this forward, you have done so much for me not to mention this planet. What a legacy you are building. With gratitude ✨✨✨❤❤❤

[ushere]

this is a relief. there was no such thing as text messaging when my sister gaslighted me, and i never thought soon enough to record proof and show it to my narc ex. it's a huge relief to know that showing them the truth would not have helped--nothing can! the only solution is to get out as quickly and as safely as you can.

[Brittaba]

48 hours after a first date with a guy, he got drunk and made an insulting comment to me over text & refused to respond. The following morning I woke up to 2 texts of him apologizing profusely. Except the problem was that he tried to lie (and gaslight me) into believing I had misunderstood his comment. Lie upon lie to protect himself. I called him out. I never would accept his apology because he never wanted to admit he got drunk & devalued me. Then yesterday he tried to sweep me off my feet (love bomb) by inviting me on a two day trip this same week. We literally went on ONE date! I declined the offer & he never responded. I blocked him 🙌

[denisesatt]

This entire video describes my life. I have moved very far away. I wrote communications ignored. Hugs to all of you trying to heal. Hugs to fellow caring humans!

[nickybateleur]

I have written that big, long letter several times over (I'm a slow learner lol), with no intention of sending it. I keep it to remind me that every time I think, "Oh, stop complaining; it's not THAT bad, " that it IS that bad and that leaving was the best thing I ever did. When you learn that you're worthy, good things come. And you don't feel guilty for accepting them.

[phantomyoda]

The ex narc would get on my phone and delete messages between us. She would say something like "there's no need to keep things from the past we're in the present" or add on to that saying "It's better to delete them than to go back through them and get angry or upset all over again". However the true intent was to remove evidence of her behavior and gaslighting but disguising it in a way that she could blame me for keeping the text messages. The "never their fault" thing, "always because of someone else" excuse.

[DangerousWillie]

Keeping a journal of all the different gaslighting, blame shifting, & baiting events helped me realize just how bad my narc really was. How much I put up with, excused, found ways to appease & how abusive the relationship really was. It helped so much in ending the relationship, being able to move on, & not blame myself.

Thank you so much for all you Dr. Ramani.

[chestergloyd]

I just got out of a relationship with someone like this. I experienced a form of this where my narc was big on documentation but, it's only a tool that SHE could use but not me. When i offered documented proof of something she said/did, she didn't want to look at it and avoided it at all costs. However, when the time came to prove her point, she was more than willing to use documented proof to prove me wrong. The only time she offered up documented proof was when she knew it would be too difficult to produce or knew that i wouldn't want to go through the trouble. The double standards followed by gaslighting were incredibly obvious.

More on the subject of double standards. She demanded that i love her unconditionally after dating only a short period of time (couple months). However, when i did something wrong (in her eyes), i had to earn her love and trust back. My trust and my love should be given, hers is earned. One red flag i should have paid more attention to was that the relationship started with ultimatums. She gave me ultimatums immediately to establish compliance. There was no considerations for what i needed or wanted and whether i was comfortable with the conditions that she put in place. Luckily i'm out of that relationship and it lasted only a short time because i now know how to recognize toxicity.