5 Red Flags You Need to Watch Out For When Dating

If you're planning to get into a new relationship, here are some red flags to watch out for. Being an inexperienced dater, it is very easy to not recognize the red flags in relationships. In this video, we cover some of the dating red flags that you might be ignoring. Are there other warning signs in dating that we missed on the list?

Also, do you notice something interesting about the voice actress for this video? :D

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice: GUESS
Animator: Hannah Roldan
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

References:
Hadeed, L. (2021). Why Women Stay: Understanding the Trauma Bond Between Victim and Abuser Case Studies Were Written. In Gender and Domestic Violence in the Caribbean (pp. 195-207). Palgrave Macmillan, Cham.
Unthank, K. W. (2019). How self-blame empowers and disempowers survivors of interpersonal trauma: An intuitive inquiry. Qualitative Psychology, 6(3), 359.
Renn, P. (2006). Attachment, trauma and violence: understanding destructiveness from an attachment theory perspective. Aggression and Destructiveness: Psychoanalytic Perspectives. London: Routledge.
Ahmad, A., Aziz, M., Anjum, G., & Mir, F. V. (2018). Intimate partner violence and psychological distress: Mediating role of Stockholm syndrome. Pakistan Journal of Psychological Research, 541-557. relationship red flags

[Psychgo]

ATTN. Does anyone recognize something different about the voice for this video? Would you like to hear more? Comment if yes.

[cartonriley]

1) *They criticise you, either subtly or passive agressively*
2) *They're rude to staff and waiters*
3) *They act irresponsibly and their behaviour is immature*
4) *They describe **_every_** one of their exes as 'Crazy'*
5) *They don't communicate or express their feelings about the relationship*

[blissvful]

I’m currently crushing on someone right now, but I’m afraid that they might not be the “best” one. Thank you for making this!

[mangomango]

Another red flag: mirroring. It's when they don't reveal any of their own interests or opinions and just repeat everything you say and pretend they like it too/agree 100% with everything you say, to seem like you're soulmates/have such an *amazing* and *supernatural* connection. It's a type of love-bombing and toxic people use it to hook you in quickly.

[richardparker]

6. They're moving to quickly.

Have you only been dating for a short time but she/he is already talking about meeting your parents, having kids, marriage ext? Or are they simply trying to pressure you into getting more physical before you're ready? If so thats a bad sign.

[kuychi]

0:48 They criticise you, subtly or passive aggressively

1:46 They're rude to staff and waiters

2:36 They're irresponsible and immature

3:25 They describe every one of their exes as "crazy"

4:01 They don't communicate with you or express how they feel in the relationship

[BrendaVanem]

If they are super nice to waiter & staff/random people, it doesnt mean automatically that they are nice/respectful to you. If anything it shows that they are great actors.
Seen this theory fail numerous times sadly.

[juliuscaesart]

#4 is HUGE and #5 or they downplay their past mistakes, they’re usually not completely honest with themselves. Any combination of these will be potential fatal problems in the future. If they’re not honest with themselves, how can they be honest with others?

[GetYourLifeBetter]

Not all relationships make our lives better. Some relationships aren't good for us. They damage our well-being instead of making it better. Some can even be toxic, and it’s important to recognize the red flags. Red flags in the early stages of dating can be subtle or obvious. If a red flag appears more than once, it’s important to take note before the relationship goes too far.

[lueqmanmasduki]

I don't think criticize your partner is a solid red flag. Because some criticism is for improving your partner and for their own good. But theres a way to criticise your partner, it must be done with some suggestion not just pure criticism.

[starletjoachim]

The only relationship you can always fully trust is with yourself.

[avidhossanmansur]

As a guy, I will share some confessions that I think girls should know when it comes to dating. Most of my points are taken from experiences of other people but a few actually came off my own experience from my past relationships.

He doesn’t (or rarely) remember the little but important things that girls squeeze in during conversation every one in a while. As a guy, you have to lack some serious interest on a girl to avoid those cues.
He regularly mistaken things you said or things that you never actually said.
If the guy tells you he needs to leave the room to answer phone calls, to the point you start realizing that he is, then you have a good reason to question the possibility that there is another girl in his life.
If he tells you that he wants sex (not directly) but wants to take the relationship slow (or backstreet).
He doesn’t introduce you to his ‘best’ friend. There might be a chance he is embarrass of you or that he is actually gay, no, I’m not joking here, I’ve heard it happen.
Whether he is rich or poor, if you’ve been dating for a while and he never offers to pay for your shopping (cheap stuff), hes either a cheapskate or he doesn’t like you that much. If he actually does buy stuff for himself but never pay for you then that’s a massive red flag.
If you feel you’re at an advance stage but he has trouble sharing his insecurities or life problems, either his life is so damn perfect or he just doesn’t really trust you.
If he never makes the effort to hold your hand or show some kind of intimacy that signals “you’re mine” in front of people, his friends or in public, good chance he doesn’t love you.
If you’re in an accident, hurt, or having midlife crisis, and he doesn’t find ways to meet or reach you. This might be obvious, but I’ve seen girls that ignores this and thinks that the guy is just “busy”.
He makes tiny cute promises but never makes those tiny cute promises a reality
I am not young. I learned from my mistakes over decades. My biggest mistake was to listen to well meaning people tell me to give someone ‘the benefit of the doubt.’ As they say, when people tell you who they are the first time, listen.

[KitsunoIRL]

Currently watching this, and while my relationship doesn't hit all of the red flags, I'm surprised to noticed the ones it does hit...
I feel the time to discuss the state of our relationship to my partner may be approaching, and I'm nervous of how it's going to turn out...

I love them very much, but after living with them for almost 2 years, I feel we're not putting as much into the relationship as we should be, the both of us.

[lenegelbe-hauen]

I once went on a first date with a guy at a restaurant once and he really insulted the waitress for misunderstanding his order and serving him the wrong meal. I apologized to her and left as soon as I could as I always try to stay kind, polite and well spoken. These three things are huge priorities to me and he really didn't need to be so rude for one minor mistake 🥲 So yeah, if your date is rude to staff and/or waiters.. Run as fast as you can (:

[demon.that.draws]

I feel like it should be included that healthy or constructive criticism is different and can be extremely helpful by maybe pointing out problems your partner didn't even know they had of course, with the intention of them bettering themselves for them and helping if they need it. Especially since people absolutely blow ass at accepting criticism these days, pointing out problems is the first step in solving them, it's not intended to be a threat all the time, sometimes someone just genuinely wants to help you.

[erwinlommer]

Biggest red flag is the constant expectation and entitlement to be entertained and served. You are always the person making things happen, making suggestions, putting in the effort and footing the bill. And the other person just sort of expects to have a good time. Which they then repay or don't.

This kind of exchange of gifts and closeness is terribly harmful and poisonous. It is not a relationship. It is a transaction and it is a terrible base to build a relationship on. Not only is there a big power difference but also a huge chance one of the two being taken advantage of.

So if someone comes bearing gifts that go way above normal or expects to be entertained and served then those are red flags.

[PsychToLight]

One reason red flags can be tricky to identify is that so much else in the relationship could be going well. On top of that, it can be hard to pinpoint what, exactly, is making us feel uncomfortable,

[bunny-wexn]

just got broken up with from an almost 2 year relationship that damaged me badly, and recognized a lot of these red flags. especially the 4th point. if someone has like 5 exes, not every single one of them can be crazy

[animeevergreenathena]

To go along with irresponsibility and immaturity, I will say from experience that if you notice your partner practicing unhealthy habits like smoking, excessive drinking, and dodging conversations on important topics, which kindof goes with lying, like marriage and childcare, even after you tell them honestly and politely how their actions make you feel, then it may be best to move on as sad as it may seem.

Granted, we all can’t be perfect, but if the point of a relationship is to feel that one person’s health and well-being is more important than the other, then that’s not a real relationship.

That, of course, goes for all different types of relationships. Not just romantic ones.

[outlinehappiness]

Watching how they treat others, particularly servers, is incredibly telling. It’s easier for a person to keep up a persona with you in the beginning because there is an incentive, they don’t have an incentive to do this with those around you who aren’t connected to you.