Never Date Anyone Without These Green Flags!!

Everyone is obsessed with searching for RED flags, we've forgotten about the green flags that we need to see in any partner we date! Green flags like humility, kindness to strangers, consistency, capacity for vulnerability and intimacy, ability to repair conflicts, empathy, these are the green flags that we tend to think are going above and beyond but it turns out these are essentials to a safe, healthy relationship!

How to get HER in the MOOD (funny)

#datingadvice #redflags #datingtips

[JimmyonRelationships]

My Cat joke wasn’t fair, they can be very lovable 😂 Sorry my feline friends!

[Janedoe]

Communication
Accountability
Empathy
Vulnerability
Celebrates your wins (without taking credit)
Growth Mindset
Sees you as an equal/respects boundaries/respects others
Trustworthy
Independence/Purpose in their life
Flexible/appreciates life
And of course, if they like dogs

Don’t just read this comment, watch the video it’s really good!

[Mama.bear.]

“The best apology is changed behavior.” 🤯

[stillwatersfarm]

Liking cats is a definite green flag. Cats require unconditional love, unlike dogs who seek to earn your affection.

[peaceloveandunderstanding]

"the best apology is changed behavior"...that hit really hard.

[brunocromia]

Ironically, all my absolute worst relationships were with extreme dog people. I ended up realising that they liked their dogs because they were a source of supply, control and validation, but they didn’t actually cared enough to groom, and take genuine care of them. I also realised they kinda viewed me as a loyal puppy too. And once I started showing my own personality, goals, wants and desires, they punished me as if I was a bad mannered dog…

[TheRockInnRobin]

A big one I learned yesterday is that truth should never be used as a weapon. That hit home.

[adeliecn]

My partner’s green flag is that he makes me cry.
In the right way.
I’m so used to being on my guard, not letting any vulnerability show, being the upbeat, strong friend / partner / sister, the one in charge, in control, the one you can go to in a crisis… I’ve been going through depression and not letting myself feel anything because feeling down was absolutely terrifying. My partner makes me feel so safe and loved that I can let myself cry when I’m feeling bad, because I know I can be vulnerable, that he’ll catch me when I fall. He makes me feel so safe and loved that I can let myself feel everything again, and the relief of being able to feel joy without being scared of the sadness is enough to bring tears to my eyes.
I wish everyone gets that someone who makes them feel safe and loved enough that they can crumble.

[haminbushu]

It's important to develop these green flags within ourselves, too. I recall my mother's words: when seeking admirable traits in others, we should be able to find them reflected within ourselves as well.

[ricardajames]

Your jokes about pets are actually true. I experienced a bad relationship and realized it was bad because my dog didn't like him AT ALL. I got rid of him. Best thing I ever did. ❤️ Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏 ❤

[IrisAsuras]

So, when I was watching videos from psychologists who specialize in narcissism, one talked about how narcissists will be animal lovers, particularly dogs because dogs adore their humans. Love of an animal is not necessarily a green flag. I dated two abusive men who loved animals.

[Cy-bzjh]

You may wonder why after 46 years of marriage I'm watching this channel. It's because we can always learn something and because my husband is important to me, more important and even more loved than 46 years ago.
The first time I said "we need to talk" and sat down with my young husband he was fearful! When I said "what, if anything, am I doing that drives you a little nuts?" he looked at me like I had lost my mind. I said "we all do things, little things, that can get annoying". It is just part of the way humans are. And things that are cute or funny may become obnoxious over time, so it's best to let each other know *before* it's making us grind our teeth every time. We called it "monthly check in". It works!!

We agreed that we would never argue unless we were naked. 46 years later... if we start to argue, one of us will start removing their clothing. It breaks the tension and lets us discuss things, even the most difficult, gently and respectfully. And you are correct - being trustworthy is #1. An omission is still a lie and if trust is broken, the relationship is broken.

Thanks Jimmy. Keep explaining, you are doing important work here. Maybe you should go for a license in this stuff.

[gabrielalucas]

There is this thing a teacher said one time and it just stayed with me forever "when you're meeting someone for the first time you should pay attention in how they treat people like the doorman, the cashier, the waiter etc, if they treat them bad for no reason or treat them like they don't exist that person is probably not worth your time."

[Sunbeam__Jesus]

I was married to a covert narcissist who had no problem admitting when he was wrong or saying sorry. Problem was, he was only saying it to keep me hooked so that I would stay but he clearly had no intention of changing his behavior. Overtime he kept adapting it to play his mind game better. Tears, love bombing, telling me he had truly seen and understood his errors and it was followed by a couple weeks of “good behavior”, ultimately he would fall back into his verbal, emotional and sometimes physical violence. So apologies for hurting your partner and admission to wrong doing isn’t always a green flag. Discernment is needed. ❤️🙏🏼

[rachelhayhurst-mason]

Three things I really like about Jimmy on Relationships:
1: Your profile pic includes your wife.
2: Your advice is broader in scope than other channels.
3: Your sense of humour is hilarious! 😂

[AuraPayawan]

I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS - “ Whatever happened to us is not our fault, but healing from it is our responsibility!!! “ Thank you!

[baidarmh]

I love how he summarized the reason I clicked on his video, “if you’re worried that talking to someone about your boundaries is going to turn them off, then that’s not your person.” So true! I started to stop being heartbroken, and instead act on what I can improve on going forward. Being pragmatic, honest and unapologetic about what you expect in a partner is something I had to learn over and over.

[janetm]

I wish I could have learned this at 18. I'm glad to have seen this at 65, LOL.

[annahappen]

Jimmy, you just officially set yourself above a majority of YouTube therapists and coaches with this one. 👏 They are helpful but no one is talking near enough about what to look for and what a good relationship actually looks like. It's just what not to choose, to do, to accept, to mistake for love. But those of us with CPTSD and other relationship set backs, we desperately need to know what the real thing looks and feels like because our love detectors are so broken.
💖

[advaithareddy]

"I'm sorry I hurt you. That wasn't my intention. But I care about how my words and actions affect you." is the perfect "Sorry" response!

Does anyone else feel like its litterally impossible to get anyone to say and think that way?