What BPD Looks Like in Older People | JOHN GUNDERSON

John Gunderson, a major force in the BPD world and the person who originally defined the diagnosis, discusses Borderline Personality Disorder from the viewpoint of a researcher and clinician.

[novalea]

This is where I'm at. Diagnosed at 40. 44 now and facing the rest of my life alone. Unhappy life, and quiet despair are accurate.

[heartspacerelaxations]

Had a breakdown at 27, and 38, not diagnosed until I recognised it and paid private. Even now psychiatrists disagree, one says cyclothymia which it’s not (sorry) with borderline traits. It’s simply BPD. The rapid changes, sensitivity, chronic anger and romanticism / idealisation, and identity disturbance. All BPD, along with complex CPTSD. It’s borderline for sure. I am finding hope, and grow slowly in self acceptance. A accepting environment helps.

[jordsupp]

"Quiet despair..." Hmm, I think even the despair has run its course. I just live quietly now, and it's okay because it's peaceful. Peace is so much better than the alternative.

[jaym]

I am 38. And this has really hit me like a train

[MichaelMustermann-xnze]

I was diagnosed a few months ago. I am 54. I am learning about neuro plasticity so there is hope. It is just so much harder to change late in life.

[Wowzersdude-kc]

I am mid 40's now and have lived alone for about 20 years. In my 20's, I was a complete mess and a boyfriend from hell. As a result, I have decided to just stay alone for my sanity. It is a horrible existence, but not as horrible as bringing another person into my life and hurting them too.

[scoplon]

Wow....that hurts to hear. Makes you wonder after years of misattunement and misdiagnosis from the mental health community how much of bpd is actually made worse by exposure that same community.

[jonmars]

In my late 50s now. The notion that I had the option of just-getting -treatment seems to me a bit removed from the vast majority of people's reality. My generation was expected to just suck it up. I admit today I spend much of my time miserable and alone. I don't even know how to make friends. When I dare to seek the company of a romantic partner I'm triggered into stress bordering on psychosis. I'd like to think there's hope if I work hard but that isn't going to happen through years of treatment. That's for a different class of people.

[leebridenstine]

"quiet despair"..is not over-stating it, at least not for me..I'm going on 52 and was just diagnosed with BPD at age 50...often the despair is not so quiet though, even at this age

[princhipessa]

My ex, a high functioning untreated 47 year old Borderline continues to jump in & out of relationships destroying each person as she goes. I’ve been her longest relationship (5 years), loved & stood by her yet she discarded me a 2nd & maybe final time for some random person she thinks will be “better” all because I put down a few boundaries.
I don’t expect it to last. Her defense mechanisms are highly narcissistic.
It’s a shame and I will have to love her from a distance.

[kahlodiego]

Unless DBT becomes as available as AA there's not much hope.

[AllSven]

Yeah - I’m almost 40 and have late dx - life is already ruined. What’s the point - might as well self isolate - no real choice now.

[babystudderbox]

Shouldn't have watched that video im 36 and only now trying to work through some dbt after being told i had bpd at 22. Im still hopeful i can have i life worth living.

[kahlodiego]

Borderlines are the scapegoats of the "mental health" system. If you have a lot of money you may be able to get a caring therapist. I choose to stay as safe as I can.

[tatianacaron]

I think I have bpd, I know something is wrong with me and i went to psychiatrist hospital multiple times because of self harm and SA, they put me on prozac and xan and no therapy or diagnosis at all . (And some of the psychiatrist/psychologist I saw told me that I am like this because I am « too intelligent » lmfao or because I was not at school)
So now I am left with the symptoms without knowing how to get better, I tried to heal myself alone (bad idea) and now I just want to get diagnose, I want to know what’s wrong with me and be sure that it’s not myself who might be faking a mental disorder.
How can I get diagnose? What should I say to the psychiatrist ? What’s gonna happend if i was right and I have bpd?

[loaslife]

This sounds like a one way ticket to Switzerland

[kahlodiego]

Unless therapists can follow the guidelines Marsha Linehan sets out... (for their own behavior)

[Anotherhumanexisting]

I give up. If not for the guilt of betraying my parents, I would unalive myself…

[juicylucy]

Don’t some of the bpd symptoms faze out as people (I have heard in particularly woman) pass ages 40s and 50s and up ?

[charlesbromberick]

The doctor says a lot of valuable things, but he sure is boring.