SPOTTING BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: RELATIONSHIPS & RELATIONAL INSTABILITY IN BPD

How are relationships impacted by Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)? This is the last video in part 5 of a series on identifying BPD, and breaking down what "relational instability" looks like in real life, in Borderline Personality Disorder.

🙏🏻🙏🏻As with all my videos, mental health symptomatology exists on a spectrum, and that is very true for BPD, so you may find that some, all or none of what is described applies to your experience with BPD.

**Borderline PD can be painful and challenging for those who suffer, and also painful and challenging for those on the relational receiving end of Borderline Personality Disorder.💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

What is described in my videos often references what untreated symptoms of BPD look like, so those who might not understand what BPD is or looks like in their lives or childhood, can gain knowledge, gain compassion for themselves, feel validated for their wounds and story, and hopefully be helped along, even in some small way, on their journey to healing.

xo

@drkimsage

[territhetankedupterrapin]

"Accuse you of doing things you would never do" ...like accusing me of being violent despite never laying a finger on her in any way that wasn't with love and affection! Thank you for making me feel so heard! ❤

[teeroy]

This is so helpful. I just got out of a relationship with a BPD woman and the emotional fallout is very real; the BPD is very charming — the emotional highs are very hard to let go of…

[suchnessweaver]

I recognize so much of this. Thanks for a great video (videos) How the smallest attempt to stand up for myself would be perceived as a violent or abandoning act.

I was scared for a long time to leave my BPD ex, especially since we have a kid. Dealing with their past suicide attempts and self-harm made it hard to figure out if my love was real or just a trauma bond. After too many fights and meltdowns, I finally ended it. A week later, my ex started dating someone new, acting like everything's fine and blaming me for her emotional rollercoaster.

I worried about our kid. Now, three months later, things are calming down. It's been the most confusing time of my life. Being a musician helps; I've written songs about what I went through. Therapy's teaching me about BPD and my role in the mess. To anyone going through tough relationships, focus on self-love. And don't let bitterness get the better of you. ❤️🙏

[TM-]

It’s truly incredible how spot on this entire video is from start to finish. Having been in a relationship with someone suffering with what is likely BPD, this video provides me with a lot of clarity. Thank you for educating us on this complex, often misunderstood disorder.

[otis]

It’s so sad. Nobody asked for this illness. I had to leave my ex fiancé due to the rages. Still love her more than anything, but it’s just too much.

[trentkestin]

Wow. Everything you said is exactly how I have felt in my relationship. I feel like I’m always trying to make her happy and then one tiny thing goes wrong then boom she starts saying I’m the worst, I suck, I’m worthless and it’s emotionally exhausting. Her mom also has borderline personality disorder. Everything just lined up perfectly with what you were saying and how nothing is ever enough. Idk how to go about getting her help because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or come across like there’s something wrong with her. I just want to help her.

[DrKimSage]

🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️. Hope you find this helpful! I am SO DEEPLY GRATEFUL to be at 950 subscribers! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 

Truly, thank you so so so much for watching, for sharing your stories, and for inspiring me with your resilience and survival. 

💕💕 Life can be so hard, but it's so much easier when you know you are not alone!! 💕💕

[jroberts]

I'm about 99% sure my gf has BPD. Her ability to turn anything I say into a personal attack on her is just dumbfounding. I've never seen anything like it. Got even worse after she moved in with me back in October. It was getting to where I would dread having day off work at the same time with her because there would inevitably be some kind of fight with her ending up telling me "you never really ever wanted me" and "Its ok if you wanna break up" when the day before I'm being told how I was her person and she can't imagine her life without me. It's been the most soul sucking three years of my life. The most exhausting relationship with another human being i've ever had

[daniellecharming]

I've been binge watching your videos and my brain's confirmation that I'm child of a BPD parent comes not from my parent being nearly textbook BPD, but that this far down the rabbit hole my brain is still doesn't want to believe it was "that had". But the symptoms I have been experiencing, fogging my mind like cotton my entire life is exactly what you describe. For the first time I see real evidence that I'm not the crazy one, which was the narrative imposed on me. Some sort of higher power put your videos on my radar and I am so grateful 🙏

[spirit]

Jeeeesus, this is exactly what I went through for year and half being on egg shells abusive. I mean 💯!! Thank you sooo much for this video, this was very informative and helpful for my personal healing. ❤️❤️❤️

[pisymph]

I’m right in the middle of a relationship with a BPD … thanks for the insight. I’ve turned to stoicism to help me deal with it— “ by all means, marry . If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll be come a philosopher “

Is there any hope of a reprieve? ( aside from divorce)?

[llmeekos]

I found you on Tiktok and have found your videos very soothing. I have CPTSD from having a Borderline mother and mass amounts of childhood trauma. Since I was a “trauma case” (ACE score of 9), I was continually dismissed by psychologists when I communicated feeling different than others, struggling socially, being very bullied in my youth, etc. Turns out I have ADHD & clinically significant Autistic traits (I am Hyperlexic, for example). My Borderline mother abused her special needs child. Unfortunately, I feel very dismissed when I share with others how this impacted me. I find so much comfort in knowing there is other neurodivergent women who have similar experiences.

[sebrura]

Excellent vid. They are simply wired differently. They run on a totally different operation system in their head. My advice for anyone with a BPD partner: RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. Before sooner or later you’ll end up alone anyways. And you will wonder wth happened.

[Nanakuje]

So your first post I watched was on fearful avoidance attachment style and I heard it is part of what people with bpd experience so I went to check you out and I stumbled on this and other videos. I have BPD, and I'm just realising that now. I'm definitely signing up to your newsletters and get the help I need. Diagnosing this in my 29th year, well who knew...

[chuckb]

100 percent accurate. This is the first video of yours I've watched, but I've subscribed and will explore your other videos.

[spikygreen]

Dr Sage has the best content on BPD from everything I've watched so far (and let's just say, I've watched a lot)

[ash_addams]

I think my partner may have BPD. He always thinks I’m trying to leave and will start to accuse me of a variety of things I’m not doing. He has made me feel like an awful person because every little thing seems to upset him and trying to keep him from getting angry/upset with me is exhausting: I feel like I can’t ever win.

[Wingbar]

I keep going from completely believing they have BPD to completely doubting my experience and whether I am wrong

[scmommy]

I'm a new subscriber & so grateful that I have found your channel! I've already, previously, expressed gratitude for how much you are helping others but, it is important to tell you this again-you are reducing a lot of suffering & encouraging hope & healing! We are living in a world w/a lot of pain so it is not a small thing to find true compassion & accurate info about such complex matters. Thank you so much! Btw-unrelated I know but, I love your hair! You are a beautiful person on the outside but, more importantly, you have a beautiful & kind heart. Thanks again & I hope that your channel continues to grow! ❤xx

[moritz]

4 years with a BPD, loved her immensely….was never enough, almost destroyed me, thank you Dr.Sage for your priceless support