How Avoidants React To Rejection (How To Get Your Ex Back)

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[TanzaniteHayley]

I’m 37 and I’ve never had a healthy fulfilling relationship/connection with an avoidant. The clue is in the heading. The best things to do with an avoidant is to avoid them 💁🏻‍♀️

[KaliKay-]

When the going gets tough, they get going.

[addersonmadness]

I feel they can make the most secure person in the world crazy ..
Hoovering breadcrumbing Push pull lovebombing Only want to be friends with benefits/ situationship And there will be absolutely no benefit for the secure anxious partner .. to walk on egg shells and not getting any need met . Personal experience only Choice is yours to stay or not
But trust me you will most likely lose your identity and your self esteem will be destroyed.

[MsNay]

They LOVE to sabotage relationships or test them. Whether it's from getting too close or feeling like things could be rocky, they will attempt to sabotage and test to make sure they made the right choice to be with you. It's torture and often borders on microcheating. In fact, the phantom ex piece is a huge part of this - it maintains the distance of safety.

[miller]

Both sides are scared to get hurt. One avoids to protect themselves the other tries too hard to get the connection by overdoing it when they shouldn’t have to. Both sides have to meet in the middle. The confidence and ease of someone who doesn’t care anymore or is patient for the response will eventually call the avoidant out of hiding simply by being happy and peaceful the avoidant needs to get help too and learn how to be brave so that intimacy and trust can occur then the anxious side won’t feel walked all over taken for granted or neglected in the closeness they deso

[UniversoSpiritualUnido]

They are very insecure and when rejected their world comes crashing down and they shut down. I’ve been an avoidant anxious but my energy was extroverted out and asking for advice. They shut down

[erinlundgren]

I was brought back here by a comment on a previous comment I made.
This creator is asking people to have unauthentic relationships that involve manipulative tactics to try to entice someone into a relationship, or kind of relationship they dont want to be in. One where both partners have the ability to be vulnerable and to make their partner feel secure and valued.
Yeah 8 months later i get notifications about my ex viewing my social media (not commenting however) but I've already moved into a secure relationship which is so much more satisfying than the one I had with them.
Dont stay, don't try, the avoidant is not for you and you deserve an authentic, caring, secure relationship.

[mdmcpherson]

I’m being stonewalled/silent treatment.
I think they do this to feel control, it’s crazymaking

[kafworld]

I came here to say I love this guy. He’s helped me so much. I’m grateful he exists in this world

[greciarojas]

I did no contact for about two months after the break up because he was texting his ex hook up fling behind my back. We met up and I was guarded but casual, he was playful and a little flirty which was cute because I’ve missed that side of him so much. But he kept saying to move on, he doesn’t want to lead me on and he almost said he’s a lot happier but stopped himself mid sentence but then tried to kiss me. I couldn’t kiss him and leaned away. So I decided this was over and I should move on. The interactions were confusing and disappointing. Why do they try to go for affection and sex, while using language of distance and boundaries?

[wendydavid]

The avoidant I’d deceiving you then, get you back then push you away, enough is enough, all a one way relationship, hard work avoidants are

[RuthieV-yzlf]

This is your best video I’ve seen so far. I’m in the let go stage after setting boundaries when they came back and no progress was made. I have a hard time figuring out when I have done enough and you’ve helped me see that in have. I am sad but that’s given me a sense of peace. I do wish to have him back but only if he meets my standards of a reciprocal level of effort and knows what he wants. Thank you

[gabordudas]

Good video, thx Alexis! I am currently in that stage, that you explain in the end, so from "I scared of losing you" I have reached 'I'm fed up playing games" stage. And I worked hard, so I'm a bit complacent:) Good feeling after 8 moths after break up. It's time to move on.

[yougotgroove]

I have raised my level of expectations.
I feel good about that.
We shall see how this plays out.

[giusi]

As an avoidant myself, I have rejection sensitivity big time. love your thoughtful videos.

[meganmugwumps]

This is very sensible. There’s so much content published about ‘no contact’ but this advice is usually stripped of the context of the partners’ attachment styles. Attachment style is everything.

[christinamb]

Helpful! I lean anxious and I initiated a break up with an avoidant who I was with for over a year, this past the summer (which was huge for me) and then we saw each other and all boundaries became very blurry and caused us both stress as we weren't in a place to be together again yet acted like it. We've reset them again a month or so ago after months of interactions that were sweet in the moment but painful after the fact.. it's been hard but necessary. I feel more empowered especially when he reaches out to me and I can feel ok again with or without him, though with him is my preference. I can see him putting in lots of effort including going to counseling after we broke up. So I wait and live my life, as detached as much as possible and only see him in groups of friends and don't initiate contact. We both have strong faith and a lot in common as well as strong attraction to each other, but we shall see.

[MrMortishia]

alexis, thank you for all your are amazing and am very thankful that you follow your own path in self discovery, thus giving us some light into how it feels to be an avoidant and how we can behave towards amazing how an avoidant can now share his own experiences in order to means you are a true healer! no university can teach anyone about personalieties and dynamics ....its all about personal experience am a therapist who is a treated borderliner hence i have success in my job when it comes to how to deal with borderline people and often with a relationship with a are a treated avoidant that gives us a lot of insight and you are amazing at what you you know from experience....so a masive THANK YOU!!!

[erinlundgren]

Are all your videos explaining how other attachment styles can cater to the avoidant? How about helping avoidants attempt to change their attachment style and become more secure. It's the avoidants problem to solve because they are the only one that can't walk away from the problem, themselves.

[JS-zszl]

This is one-sided, focused on the pov of selfish avoidant and not on the great HURT they cause others. Avoidants should date each other bc they cause great harm to others.