The Attachment Styles and How They Affect Your Relationships #shorts

WANT TO START IN THERAPY? Here’s a convenient and affordable option with my sponsor BetterHelp

For a monthly fee, you get a REAL licensed therapist with whom you can meet weekly by phone, video or chat. You can also send daily messages.

Disclaimer: All of the information on this channel is for educational purposes and not intended to be specific/personal medical advice from me to you. Watching the videos or getting answers to comments/question, does not establish a doctor-patient relationship. If you have your own doctor, perhaps these videos can help prepare you for your discussion with your doctor.

[sockpuppet]

When an anxious attachment style is in a relationship with an avoidant attachment style it’s: one pulls/one pushes, one clings/one runs, pursuer/distancer. Maddening and unfulfilling.

[lum]

Not to mention how dating an avoidant person can slowly but surely turn a secure attachement into an anxious attachment and completely destroy your mental stability.

[Mrs_Truth]

I'm avoidant. I love my partner and I loved my friends, but it has always been incredibly draining to actively engage with them. I no longer keep friends around because I thought I'd have more mental energy to talk/do things with my partner, but I'm still exhausted. I'm always content just being in the presence of my partner, but he is anxious and needs constant affirmation that I love and want to be with him and wants to do engaging things. I try to meet him half way by planning to play games together and having long conversations about things we like, but even though I enjoy those things it often feels like a chore. I just got diagnosed with ADHD this month, so I'm wondering if that has anything to do with it, but either way I just want to have the energy to be more present in my relationship and I'm not sure how.

[talori]

I’m a little clingy but I try not to pressure him with it. He knows I’m this way and is understanding. He can be avoidant when he gets stressed and we talked about it so he’s opening up and sharing his thoughts with me more. I remind him, I got his back and he reminds me he’s always here for me. It’s been one whole year and we don’t fight. We have loving conversations that leads us to great outcomes. I hope we continue to grow this way. We loved each other since I was 12 and he was 14. ❤🙏🏾🌹

[sydneydaniellerichmond]

It’s frustrating that fearful avoidant is so rare that nobody talks about it 😭

[bambinoesu]

Anxious attachment style - I'm always looking for the smallest sign of rejection

[randyjobst]

For those with someone who is insecure-avoidant I’ll give you some incite because that’s what I have. Emotionally abusive and distant mother is the trauma I grew up with, she also was married to an abusive drunk for a couple years. I learned early on to develop a more unique personality to get noticed, isolate more, and put myself out there less because of a crippling fear of rejection. I tend to make people close to me feel like I don’t need them because I was raised by someone incredibly distant to me, so I had to learn how to meet my own needs, so I rarely rely on others meet them. You can help your parents if they are avoidant by reassuring them, checking in with them when you are out, always uplift them, never ever make them a butt of your jokes in front of them. Couples therapy helps to get a better understanding of why they do the things they do. It’ll uncover so much family trauma you and possibly them had no idea existed.

[nodozhit]

Secure, anxious, avoidant. I think I might cycle through all three styles in one typical work day.

[alexas.]

You make a really good point about AP/anxious attachment: PERCEIVED threats (and suspicion) are what really drives this attachment style. It’s completely normal to react poorly to someone actually threatening to leave you — let’s say, in a manipulative way as a result of you trying to constructively express your needs. Or if your partner suddenly becomes distant and cold, concern is a natural response. But I’ve noticed a lot of APs will have severe self-regulation issues. Their responses are often too big for a given situation. They panic more easily and jump to conclusions. Clinging behavior as a way to cope can be extreme and often, it’s uncalled for in a given circumstance.

[tonitv]

most of the time when anxious are activated it’s because the avoidant switched up their behavior and is actually talking to multiple people and building their backup plan.

[REChronic]

I have a friend I’ve known since I was 12. We’re in our 20s now. I remember one time she said “10 years of friendship and we’ve barely done anything but do [list repetitive things].” And I knew it was my fault, knowing I’m avoidant.

[roccovert]

What I noticed with my ex is that she was the anxious and it made me secure, but now I’m dating an avoidant and I’m the anxious type with her and it’s so difficult to deal with, 2 weeks ago she was talking to me often now she’s been cold with me dry texts all that and rn I’m pulling back till she reaches out so I don’t stress her out or make her feel suffocated

[TheColossalBlanket]

I have a double whammy. I'm pretty open with people, love intimacy and crave it yet I don't feel good enough for a decent and healthy relationship so I end up not seeking one out and instead get involved in unhealthy relationships just so I get my intimacy needs met and then I'm on a roller coaster waiting for it to end. It's like I feel I deserve the rejection. I think this stems from one parent loving me unconditionally and the other completely rejecting me. It's interesting to learn about this and hopefully begin to fix it.

[withexpectancy]

This video was really helpful. Wow!! I didn’t even think I had a style until this video.

[djimiwreybigsby]

Tracy Marks🙏a thousand thanks.
I can only say "thank you"
Some of us, perhaps many, are still alive and learning to thrive because you made help available to the working poor.
I'm one of many in gratitude to you 🥰

[UnshakableSheLLC]

Insecure Anxious 🙋🏾‍♀️ (minus being clingy)

[bbli-bqxj]

Im gonna turn my anxious attachment style to avvoidant. Man its gonna be fun. Never need anybody anymore. Dream ❤

[enriquegarciacota]

“Independent” sounds like something “good”. It isn’t.

[YolandaReardon]

Thank you 💕 having these videos and especially the "SHORTS" they are quick and in your face so that it sinks in and you can face your "TRUTHS" or true self before your thoughts or conscious mind can totally agree or disagree. You're like "Oh, that's me, that's what I am going to work on to be more present and have a healthier life and mindset. ✨ Thank you Dr. Tracy Marks ✨

[FloppedASF]

Can't wait for disorganized fearful avoidant (that's mine)