The Impact of Emotional Neglect

Emotional neglect in a relationship can have serious consequences for people. It can affect someone's sense of self worth, their self esteem. They can find it difficult to trust others, ask for support. It can even affect someone's mental and physical health.

This video is the second part of a series looking at the differences between abuse and neglect in narcissistic relationships, focusing on the long term impact neglect can have on someone's sense of self, their psychological, emotional and physical well being.

Ten Signs of Narcissistic Neglect in a Relationship

Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos.

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#emotionalneglect #neglect #neglected

[DarrenFMagee]

Please feel free to suggest any topics you might like me to cover in future videos

[truthseeker]

You totally described the psychological and emotional impact on children of a narcissistic parent (or two). It takes decades sometimes for the child to figure out that they weren't the problem.

[Mkr]

So true. Overt abuse is easy to spot but lack of love? Very hard.

[winter-qdyw]

This is very spot on to my experience from 40 years with Ex. For me, it got to the point where I would get angry and push for some type of response, any response, even if it was rage from him. It was better than always being ignored. My adult children also treat me this way. I have isolated, I have huge trust issues. Please be aware that I have now recognized that because I have been treated so badly anyone saying something nice to me makes me vulnerable because it feels so great but I have learned the hard way that does NOT mean they gave my best interest in mind. It means that we are so starved for affection that any little act of kindness makes us emotional and more likely to give the benefit of the doubt. I believe that for the rest of my life I will go through life feeling so much more guarded. Why wouldn’t I, when the people who were closest to me showed me I was not worth anything. I believe we have to keep reminding ourselves how worthy we are and of course trying to find those who appreciate us as we are.

Two years after I left I rescued a wonderful dog. I told a few people how good he was for me; that even though he could not talk to me he would actually LOOK at me when I spoke to him which was much more than I had gotten. Thank you for this video. It is another that I will comeback to when I need reminding!

[bearlyhidden]

I've been carrying a lot of anger inside of me since I was a little kid, and I've struggled with anxiety and depression for almost as long. All I ever wanted was to be understood, and here you are explaining my whole life. This was so validating. Thank you!

[graveyardghost]

So true, Mr. Magee. It makes you feel that nobody else cares to listen either, so you repress yourself and end up feeling like a zombie. But when you find others who DO pay attention, it's a stark difference. Thx, lovely advice ❤

[theideaplace]

When you find yourself in a destructive relationship with a narcissist it is helpful to make a list of all the offenses and horrible things they've done to you... it will help you leave them or exit them from your life... I don't believe in cutting people out of your live trivially... but some narcissists will destroy you if you don't...

[sahdogwrangler]

Wow this describes me so well! Of the several YouTube creators I watch, I've never seen anyone address this! I went from an abusive, very chaotic home, you know, the kind where your parent tells you to stop crying or they'll give you something to cry about, to a 34 years & counting marriage where I have a whole part of me that my husband doesn't know or care to know. I don't expect him to help me, asking for help always turns out to be a mistake. There's no love, support, empathy or kindness, mostly just anger & contempt. Sometimes there's fake kindness with an agenda, usually so my guard will go down & there'll be something discovered that can be used against me later. I've used maladaptive coping mechanisms, now I'm in therapy. I have constant anxiety & though I finally understand the boundary concept, the love yourself thing continues to allude me. It's very validating just to hear someone describe what you're going through. Thank you for that!

[SaltLake]

You have described my situation for the last 28 years. It’s only recently that I have been able to give a name to my husband’s neglect and extreme procrastination when it comes to me. But then comes my birthday and he gives me an expensive gift in front of my kids confusing me all along. The youngest is about to leave for college and I feel like I should ditch my husband now.

[AnneW-ogdl]

I recently named what I felt, emotionally neglected. My desires were irrelevant. No empathy whatsoever, not even validation. I expressed my feelings only. No name calling or asking him anything, just my feelings. They went through him like I didn’t say a word. That non-response from him was the dagger.

[mycshells]

😢 My whole life from parents to decades long spouse who was brought up the same way.😮

[Lolopug]

Honestly it helps me so much just to put a name on it, and have it explained. My situation is not as severe as it used to be but the damage is done. To me and the relationship, anyway. I am proud of my strength and my courage to have got this far but I’m not sure what I should do now. Except fully allow my feelings and my self-care.

[joachimcoonan]

I spent 11 years in a relationship that included such neglect. In the end, she just cut me off completely, despite having raised children with her from

[luffypupperstien]

Your right. After years of neglect if asked How was your day I just say Fine then grudgingly ask about him. In the morning if asked how did you sleep I say Fine even if I'd spent the night sick, once taken our son to the ER. Fine then let him talk on about what matters, Him. The built up anger and resentment bubbles up in my throat just from the sight of him

[chicane]

Another scenario leading to depression is when an unintentionally abusive parent who was abused themselves lashes out at the child who was abused by multiple people, telling that child that they’re anger at the parent is not valid because the child is angry at someone else and is putting it on them (the parent) when the child has a valid reason for being angry.
Finding a good counselor who validated your feelings BEFORE telling you how to work through them has been a step in healing that I didn’t realize was necessary. Then, going back to each scenario and validating the child/young adult that I was has been amazing as well.

[JulieEarl-fx]

This was very helpful for me. I’ve suffered from emotional neglect for years but didn’t realize what an impact it had on me. I was married for 43 years to a man that I now believe may have been a Covert narcissist and he was also very addicted to prescription pain medication. I have now been divorced for a little over a year. He used the silent treatment quite often, lying, sneaking, making up stories and isolating. I went everywhere myself or did things with my children, grandchildren and friends. I felt lonely and often scared and worried and there was very little intimacy. Looking back after being away from it for awhile, I have no idea how I coped for as long as I did. I’m so thankful for my daughters who could see what a bad situation I was in and after an incident that I now recognize as narcissistic rage, I left. There was also financial abuse, lots of lying and no accountability. I’m glad it’s over, hope this helps someone that may be in a similar situation. Please get the help you need. I feel much better and happier now and look forward to a happier future.❤️

[VanessaSimon]

I have lost all sense of ambition. My self esteem is low very low. Let’s not even talk about depression and anxiety. So much strain on my body. 20 years of emotional and sexual neglect. God grant me a miracle in my marriage. We both need to heal. We have childhood trauma. Intimacy is so important between a couple. He is a an “ Avoidant” I am “ Anxious” these attachments are so challenging. Please God help us.

[jomccormack]

Omg. You have just described my (ex) relationship. Wow. I was wondering why i couldn't tally any more. Never had a problem chatting to other people, but i could no longer tell the ex anything really.

[CounterfeitChristianityCanada]

This was exactly my 15 year marriage, which brought me to the edge of suicide. I never knew about boundaries or narcs back in 1998 so I ran. It took me over 10 years to get better. Now the wreckage is being played out in our daughter's life. He turned her into a copy of himself. This week, she cut me out of her life.😢

[nvr]

I suffered neglect. My father a malignant narcissist, my mother his enabler, my sister a malignant narcissist. I had to take care of everything. I was conditoned neither to ask for anything nor to express any needs. Since a little child, I somehow knew my reason for existing was to cater to my parents needs. I took care of them to their dying breaths. I suffered and watched the abuse of my father towards my mother. When they died my narcisstic sister got the majority of the inheritence. All the while I worked an abusive, toxic workplace for 17 years. With my savings from the toxic workplace I paid for my parents funerals, my malignant sister never offered to. (My father died on the morning of my mother's funeral so I had no help from anyone in covering the expenses). Today at 44 I'm jobless, broke, and extremely fatigued and am not even half way to some kind of retirement. I am disgusted with the world and myself and wish everyday I was never born.
I am unable to cry to make myself feel better. No healing tears to ease my suffering. My body is robbed of the ability to cry. That's how intense the neglect was.