9 signs YOU experienced childhood emotional neglect

It's a topic you seem to always love on here, and that is childhood emotional neglect. These signs MAY mean you currently or have suffered from childhood emotional neglect or childhood neglect. Some of these signs may mean you currently are or may have suffered from CEN (childhood emotional neglect) or what some simply call childhood neglect. Additionally, I'm going to be talking to recovery and healing from childhood neglect or emotional neglect from your parents. Not all childhood emotional neglect looks the same, and your symptoms or effects may look different than others. This type of neglect may lead to childhood ptsd, effects in your adulthood, or other symptoms. So if you are one who may suffer from neglect in your childhood from your parents or someone else, I suggest you watch this video for helpful recovery tips.

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If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[nygrl]

"If you don't stop crying I'm going to give you something to cry about!" was something I heard a lot. I was confused because I HAD something to cry about but no one cared what it was.

[Sharon_Smith]

When my dad died a neighbour asked how I was. I immediately started talking about how my mother was doing. He stopped me and said no I want to know how you are. I realised I had no vocabulary to express my feelings as my mother’s narcissism had conditioned me to only think of her and never myself.

[JaniceCole]

It’s like being trapped inside yourself

[honeymilk]

Just remembered when I was 7, I was attending dance classes and I was good at it and that day I had a concert. I remember when we finished the performance, other kids would get flowers from their parents. I didn’t look much into the audience because I knew there are no familiar faces for me. I remember vividly how I was going home alone, and it was already late and dark outside and I was wearing all the makeup from the concert while squeezing the key in my fist just in case to protect myself.

Interesting how only when you grow up you understand none of it was normal.

[katherinep]

I was emotionally neglected as a child. The hardest part now is being a mom and fulfilling my toddler’s emotional needs.

[maplecake]

I’ve always had this broken record playing in my mind that says I really didn’t have a bad childhood. There are people who had REALLY bad childhoods, so mine looks like a fairytale in comparison. But it’s videos like these that make me realize that just because my childhood looks good from the outside, doesn’t mean that the consequences of neglect aren’t there and aren’t affecting my adult life. I needed to hear all these signs to drive that point home for me. Thank you!

[stratovani]

As a 70 year old I wish I could have seen this video 50 years ago, my life would have been a lot easier. One of the advantages of being a senior is having the ability of seeing my life as it really is, and seeing all the events both good and bad that happened to me. I spent many years of my life searching for acceptance. Bad jobs, no career, bad relationships, bad decisions.

Excellent video. It explains a lot.

[johnjacobjinglehimerschmid]

0:59 9 - Being out of touch with our emotions.
2:05 8 - Being extremely defensive.
3:42 7 - People pleasing.
4:43 6 - Often unable to ask for help.
5:39 5 - Shame even after the smallest mistake.
6:34 4 - We want to isolate all the time.
7:33 3 - We compulsively lie.
8:37 2 - Difficulty making decisions.
9:26 1 - We seek out unavailable partners.

[boogiemcsploogie]

As a man, I feel like I got doubly screwed. Not only that I experienced severe emotional neglect (with bonus parentification!) but we as men are socialized not to really show or embrace emotion. That is considered weak, effeminate, unbecoming. Glad I got over that block, I enjoy feeling things and loving people.

[sagrammyfour]

I don't remember ever being told my mother loved me, nor do I remember her ever putting her arms around me. Not once. I feel like I never pleased her, never made her proud. She didn't even tell me about periods. My father was stationed in a remote place overseas, and I didn't even have girls my own age around me. I was 11-1/2 yrs old, smack in the middle of childhood when my period started. I thought I was dying, and I never said a word. She noticed stained clothes in the laundry and gave me some half-assed textbook explanation and some supplies We never mentioned it again except when I needed supplies. I was alone. I did better with my sons--I resolved to tell them I loved them, I hugged them, and we talked about all kinds of things--nothing was ever out of bounds--even now when they are both happily married and I have grown grandchildren. For the life of me I don't understand why I am still hurting about what my mother did to me. I didn't cry when she died, and I can't even say I love her.

[sherrisouthwell]

I never feel like the adult in the room, question myself constantly, and hate to ask for help. I AM what you are describing😞.

[aussiegardener]

I am a girl. I was terribly neglected as a child. I was not only hit repeatedly but I wasn't allowed to make a noise. My brothers were encouraged to be mean to me and I felt so isolated with 5 brothers and a mum that acted like she hated me. I am now 63 and have moved to a small village of about 80 people and rarely leave my house.

[charlessmarr]

" I will give you something to be upset about." "Choke all emotion down until you become numb. Never complain. Never ask. Be strong. Be independent. "
All these rules left me open to the physical and other abuse. I was 9 for 9 on this list.

[JaneSmith]

I'm crying so hard right now! This is the first time I've ever felt this validated in 59 years!

[timothymull]

this was childhood 101 for many of us Gen Xers who grew up in the 70's and 80's. I have vowed to be very different with my children.

[jamied]

My parents weren't rich but they always made sure our physical and material needs were met and I'll always be thankful to them for it.
But they were also both emotionally stunted and were dismissive of my emotional needs as a small child. They couldn't understand my problems and they weren't interested in trying to understand. The few times I actually asked for help, I never got it - what I did get were things like; "Get over it", "Snap out of it", or "Ignore it". They weren't abusive but they were unable to connect on an emotional level - and of course this extends past the family unit and out in the world as well - teachers and staff at school were pretty much the same: dismissive, indifferent and unwilling to help in any way.
By the time I left school I felt utterly worthless

[ladyv]

My mother used to sigh, shake her head and say, "What are we going to do with you?" Thing is, I wasn't a difficult kid. By the time I became a teenager, I wanted to scream, "Shut up and listen to me once in a while! Don't pick apart everything I do in private and then take credit for all my accomplishments in public!" But that would have been asking for trouble. So I got out as soon as I could.

[verthandijal]

i was told over and over again as a child to "suffer in silence" and was sent to my room every time my emotions got too big.

[Blondie]

I don't see people pleasing as being manipulative, I see it as a way to feel less anxious for someone who has been around someone who is abusive, therefore trying to keep the peace while walking on eggshells.

[fireball]

My mother was a dutiful mom: she kept us fed, housed, clothed, enrolled us in school, took us to the dentist, and so on. She was NOT a loving, nurturing mother. Both my older sister and I were emotionally stunted during childhood. My mother simply doesn't DO emotions, to this day. She never cuddled with us, or comforted us, it was always about being a good soldier and stifling ourselves. She hated it when we touched her, she would visibly shudder and pull away. She's also a covert passive-aggressive narcissist, so the only feelings that matter are hers: it's imperative to always perceive her and talk to her as if she's the most loving, caring, giving, self-sacrificing mother the world has ever seen. I have been thinking a lot lately about how often I feel numbness and despair around her. (She has also weaponized my emotions against me in the past.) When I lived out in the western U.S., I still had life troubles but I felt free to feel the way I felt about them. Now that I'm back in the same town with her (I came back to be a grandma to my new grand babies), I feel hopeless and powerless again. I'm starting to think, Huh..., maybe it's her dismissal of me as a human being, basically, as well as her incessant need for positive attention, is most of the reason why.