4 Habits We Learn as Emotionally Neglected Children

If you experienced childhood emotional neglect, you might be living with these 4 habits.

In this video, I explore four habits that are commonly developed by individuals who experienced emotional neglect during their childhood.

Emotional neglect occurs when a parent consistently fails to respond to a child's emotional needs, whether through a lack of affection, ignoring emotional distress, or not acknowledging the child's mental well-being. Unlike physical neglect, emotional neglect is often invisible but can have profound and long-lasting effects.

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Disclaimer: The information contained on this channel, including suggestions, ideas, techniques, and other materials, is provided only as general information, educational in nature, and is not intended as a substitute for a consultation, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We encourage you to consult the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.

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[Sandy-sj]

social anxiety...no identity....feeling you don't fit anywhere

[karenbradcovich]

Isolation, overthinking, numb, detached

[glendamoody-ncyo]

I learnt to be quiet. Please others so I could feel safe.

[EdelweisSusie]

1. People pleasing
2. Pushing through (ignoring our own needs)
3. Overthinking everything
4. Trying to control everything

[silverlining]

A core childhood need along with these 3 is to be SEEN. For who we are as people, and the qualities that we have that makes us special.

[briand]

Pushing Through. Man, you can turn this one into an absolute SUPERPOWER if you harness it correctly. When you grow up in an abusive environment, you develop an inhuman tolerance for discomfort. Though I wouldn't say I'm an emotionally balanced person, I've achieved a LOT more in business than I ever could have dreamed as a child.

When I see everyone around me quitting, I double-down. And when that doesn't work, I triple-down.

You undoubtedly know what I'm talking about. Dr. Ramani calls it 'Fucked Up Resilience'.

[SoniaBweet]

Watching this video really hit home for me. It brought back the pain of my recent breakup after a 4 year relationship. He chose to leave, and it’s left me feeling completely lost. I’ve tried everything I can to reconnect with him, but nothing seems to work. The hardest part is not being able to picture a future without him. Even when I try to move on, thoughts of him keep coming back. I’m not sure why I’m posting this here maybe I just needed to get it off my chest.

[petrch]

All of them, plus overachiever with imposter syndrome, dissociation and partly amnesia about childhood events for ages. Never asked for anything, learned to have only minimum, overworked, highly sensitive to others, emotionally unavailable controlling double-faced mother addicted to meds, ignorant workaholic father (drunken he raged and gone mad and violent), bully sister. Youngest in the class, the best student, career, took their ignorance, blaming, shaming, lies. It's not even people-pleasing, i became their donor of energy and emotional garbage bin. Burnout at 27, health struggles and then I changed lifestyle. Now I'm 42 and learning to love myself. Plus overexplaining myself as trauma response. Lol. Thank you, your conferences helped me so much! Just want yo share that it's never too late and we can pause, have rest, seek help. But this pushing through piece really triggered me. I'm not native English speaker and the way between taught never give up had a long path of trouble, struggle and mistakes. Sometimes we need surrender and letting go so much ❤

[mariakneale]

I was a people pleaser and pushed through. I also learned to stay under the radar to feel safe, to not shine.

[joeydealZ]

YESSSS im a survivor of the abuse LOL also realized why i'm such a comedic kid my whole life, never know how to fit in or feel seen validated socially... i dont ever even remember hugging or receiving any bit of affection growing up... its like i was an object just completely forgotten about and left in empty rooms to learn and figure out what i supposed to be doing in life... i see it now with their own dogs and its beyond sad... they dont even like take them out do anything with them at all... child abuse now dog abuse. find myself constantly overworking, overachieving overdoing SO much in life as a coping mechanism to feel a sense of worth or importance since ive felt literally invisible my entire life.. and the worst part is i have like zero identity of myself without these people... now even at 31 .. selling everything was a trauma response from being alone so much and having no clue what to do with myself / no guidance... no mirroring of what social skills looked like / relationship building, how to connect with people. NOTHING! before i even had my license i had already saved enough money from flipping / collecting bmx bikes gas scooters and stuff to buy and start flipping cars.. had liike a drive way full of cars before i could even drive legally, cause i pretty much was on the computer or out in the garage so much with nothing but myself and a camera.. while the parents were inside glued to the tv like nobody was even their... taking on such adult responsibilities at such a young age definitely matures you.. its like im double my age at every point in life mentally and internally because of this. Pair this with constant belittlement, criticism and abuse from an older toxic af sister and other family members Its wild.. I want to run so far away from all of them and just completely erase everything.. i literally sometimes want to delete all my social media and everything and go start a new life somewhere. I do not think they understand how this pain has felt inside me for so long nor do they even care.. they would never apologize for any of it cause they dont even realize the effect they had.. my story is one for the books one emotional neglect is a serious thing and the sooner you realize it the better so you can start to heal, so much trauma inside and been carrying such weight for so long... 31 years old and have massive intimacy issues internal negative beliefs about myself and so much that stems from it.. its really sad. Im 6' in great shape, great career, so much always going for myself yet feel invisible, never have a relationship nothing.. always this sense of worthlessness of not enough, never be enough just some background character / shadow etc.. Not healthy but have been coping and learning to try and switch the narrative

[ritaebrahimi]

Oh my God!!! It’s me!
The 3 needs which were neglected + the habits I have learned to have!
And you are totally right: none of them help! They just help to ruin one’s self esteem!
Thank you much for the helpful infos about the healing. 🙏🏻🌹

[Barbara-yjtl]

Looking back I was definitely a people pleaser. I was the youngest of seven children to quite elderly parents. My parents always referred to me as ‘the baby’ which left me feeling I was more special to them. I felt my roll was to make them happy and not disappoint them in any way. There was very little money and I was a shy child who had major anxiety about our living conditions. I was really miserable but kept all my feelings to myself. I’ve suffered with low self esteem most of my life and I believe it was down to my childhood.
.

[Morganmarilee]

As a woman with high sensitivity growing up in an alcoholic home, I learned all 4 habits. In my 70s I am finally learning how to meet my core needs myself... but it is a lot of work. Now doing your RESET program.

[Blessednesting]

Oddly I became by father and my mothers emotional caretaker due to my mother’s handicap and my dad feeling overwhelmed. The burden was great and my father is still guilting us for not living near them but it’s not intentional but because of my husband’s occupation. I also became a silent people pleaser. My emotions weren’t acknowledged or valid as a child. I know my mother loved me but was mentally and physically handicapped so she couldn’t communicate in the way that I needed and my father was so absorbed in his own world and angry/depressed all the time.

[larsstougaard]

Yeah all 4 for me, just came across the "pushing through" dynamic this week in therapy. Lot of conflicting emotions and blockages / stock energy.

[rebeccarashid]

Omgoodness! I resonate with all 4, but especially the pushing through and overthinking. Honestly refreshing to hear something that I have not heard before. Very insightful. Thank you!!

[Birkenstockmum-swdq]

I was well fed. Lived in a nice house and was well dressed. I was not wanted( my Gran told me) My father lived abroad for the first 7 years of my life and then worked away from home to get away from my mother. I was an only child. I realise now what a strong person I became at an early age I trusted no one.I relied on my gut feelings. I was lucky to marry young and should have disowned my parents. My biggest mistake was constantly trying to prove I was a nice successful person to my mother who hated me all her life. Never held me and ran me down to her siblings and anyone else who would listen to her about her horrible daughter. Her hatred intensified in Dementia.

[Horseshoemagic]

Youtube suggested this video. I subscribed because it resonated with me and I am now going to binge watch the others.

[KC-]

Pretty much hits every coping mechanism that is so in grained, but with awareness you can catch yourself. I struggle with the trauma of being accepted and rejected at the same time. My older self understands most often is because others are jealous or they see something in me they wish they had. However, living through it or as you say feeling through it is very difficult for me. It breaks my heart every single time, then you go into wall building.

[chay]

I was emotionally, mentally, and physically abused. Neglect, abandonment, everything and my siblings were more important than me. I’m 37. I wish I would have done this much sooner.