6 Red Flags You Shouldn't Ignore in Yourself

We all look out for red flags. Whether it be in a romantic relationship, friendship, or with your family. Toxic behavior is everywhere.

Red flags in a relationship can be signs of narcissism, aggression, victimization, manipulative behavior or even abusive behavior. Whereas in family dynamics, sometimes it might be subtle or even more problematic over time.

Cultivating self-awareness around red flags and toxic behavior can help us avoid them altogether.
Watch this video and learn how to identify red flags in yourself and the relationships around you.

Writer: Chloe Avenasa
Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Youtube Manager: Cindy Cheong

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References:

[YumiTsui]

What areas in yourself do you want to improve on?

[GolgothaVampur]

I love improving myself late at night 💪😎

Edit: Thank you guys sm, I really appreciate the feedback!!! This is my first big comment!!! So I thank all of you for making it my first!!!, thanks again for the support and I hope to help all of you in your bettering self journey, let me know if any of you need anything, I'll always be here to help!!! 🖤🖤🖤

[floofmoth]

Negative self talk is a hard one. Sometimes it feels like there's two people in my head, one being me and the other being someone not so nice. It feels like that little voice takes pleasure from hurting me and saying every mean thing it can think of. Once it gets going it's hard to get it to stop. I have found that being nice to the voice and asking it to "please stop" works better than telling it to shut up, but even that doesn't work all the time.

[asquishyjellyfish]

I possesed 5/6 minus the social media thing because i thought it got too much negativity going on there.
Although i am self-aware of my being, i can't seem to fully stop it, only slowly detach one by one till i become the best version of myself. Wish yall luck and determination to be able to do the same thing.

[Koyu_Ruh]

Toxic perfectionism towards myself? Now that. . . Would explain quite a lot. The moments I start to not perform just right, my full mood collapses with big blames going - towards myself of course. Two points I can mention when I make a little call on monday. Thank you ever so kindly! Sometimes it is impossible to reflect on oneself without proper examples that you can relate to.

[leiathrix]

Next video idea: 6 green flags to teach yourself to follow 💚

[crow]

I'm definitely guilty for not wanting people to get close to me if there's anything I learned over the years it's don't trust anyone let alone let people get close to me

[solereflection]

It’s also wise to not see ALL of your traits as red flags in some way. Intentionally setting yourself up for failure is just as potentially bad as thinking that you can’t fail.
😓 Personal experience that I still need to apply for myself. After years of past conditioning, it’s not easy to override.

[untilgaming]

2:00 an EROTIC need for control?? 💀
Gonna assume its supposed to be erratic 😭

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). Unconstructive self-talk 0:36
2). Neurotic need for social validation 1:15
3). Neurotic need for control 1:49
4). Toxic perfectionism 2:15
5). Avoidant attachment 2:40
6). Social media addiction 3:11

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[TadanoCandy]

I’ve often felt I’m terrible at being in relationships but I never realized I’m practically a walking red flag (4/6 of these apply to me) 🤣🤣
My bf asked me to show more affection, which all my life I’ve thought it’s cringe when *I* do it. I’m learning that this is just my negative self-talk sabotaging me, so I’m working on ignoring that voice

[KunalPatwardhan]

Wow, this video really hits home. It's not often that we are encouraged to critically reflect on our own behaviors and tendencies, so this was a much needed wake-up call. The point about "unconstructive self-talk" resonated deeply, as we often don't realize the harm we're causing ourselves by not believing in our own potential. The "neurotic need for social validation" and "toxic perfectionism" points were also eye-openers, highlighting how societal pressures can warp our sense of self-worth. It's comforting to know that many of us grapple with these red flags, and even more reassuring to learn that there are ways to combat them. We should all remember that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but one of strength. Thank you for shedding light on these issues and reminding us that personal growth and self-development are continuous, lifelong journeys. 🙌🏽💭🚩

[_marshP]

Just now realizing I followed the CBT guideline stuff unintentionally.

Thought-stopping is something I do regularly
After learning that negative self-talk is actively harmful, I started talking to myself more positively.
For fun and on a whim, I started journaling.

[i.quit.]

I suddenly feel proud of myself because I recognized these red flags and thought of taking action on them immediately. I no longer have any of these. I'm open to change. I'm 15 currently and hoping for 16 to be sweet <3

[iPLAYtheSTATION]

My biggest issues out of these are unconstructive self-talk and avoidant attachment. It feels impossible to live a happy life with just these two problems, let alone the other 4. I just started therapy last month and am hoping I can resolve these.

[_jsiddal]

1. Unconstructive self talk
2. Neurotic need for social validation
3. Neurotic need for control
4. Toxic perfectionism
5. Avoidant attachment
6. Social media addiction

I have all of them but not too strongly...

[nanaman]

2. I always thought it was important that others liked me. I would do more than just my job but also theirs to try to prove myself to others. Wanting others approval to make me happy is such a waste of time. I can only control myself and I am not going to go out of my comfort zone to make everyone else happy whilst I’m being treated as a fool. I learned that after many years of working with those who use the kindness of others to their advantage.

[MisterNyte]

I never thought of my constant wanting to help/be there for others (even at times when I dont want to) would be considered a neurotic need for control. I often did feel helpless when it came to helping others growing up. Especially after hearing some terrible situations people I cared about have gone through. I am learning that I can not save everyone. I can only support them if they let me and I can not change them for the better either. Everyone is on their own journey and hopefully will become self aware and be able to help themselves.

[Nika-the-Troll]

The only red flag I didn't have was at 2:41. I hate praising myself. Well, I DO like praising myself, just hate when I do it because I don't want to overestimate my skillset. Instead, I try to get praise from other people, because from my prespectictive, everything is correct and I want a second opinion.


Sometimes, I can't tell if I think too highly of myself or think too low.

[inourcingdisk]

I never knew I was all red flagged up. I always knew I had some problems with all kinds of relationship and myself but it wasn't severe, perhaps because I can handle all my problems on my own and I had some enjoyable social circles. But after highschool it all started falling apart, working and university is tough, my friend groups from highschool all lost contacting me, and there aren't much support, but the worst part has to be the avoidant attachment, I couldn't even really communicate with anyone including my family about the struggles I was facing, nor did I had any trusted friends to talk to, and it's just a vicious cycle with self deprecation and avoidant attachment, like "you can't even handle this on your own?"

It really comes down to the bottom for me, like are you actually close to anyone, can you actually open yourself up with anyone, I'm trying now, it's tough with avoidant attachment but I'm trying. I just hope that the people around me also just understand that I have my tough times, and I just hope that they are supportive.