5 Signs You're a People Pleaser

If you feel that you always have to accommodate people, then you might be a people pleaser. People pleasing starts as early as your childhood. It might have stem from your parents who withheld love from you forcing you to constantly striving to please them. Does this sound like you?

#psych2go #peoplepleasing #selfawarenessseries

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Credits:
Script Writer: Catherine Huang
Script Editor: Steven Wu
Narrator: Lily Hu
Animator: Francesco Parente
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong
Magazine Creator: Imogen Bowler

► Music Credit: Dj Quads
Track Name: "It's Near"

References for your readings:

Good giving: Why helping others is good for your heart and your health. (2015). Providence Health Plan. Retrieved November 29, 2018.

Lancer, D. (2016). Are You a People-Pleaser? Psych Central. Retrieved November 29, 2018.

Lee, K. (2018, July 9). The Dangers of Perfectionism. Psychology Today. Retrieved November 29, 2018.

Martin, S. (2018). 12 Signs That You’re A People Pleaser. Psych Central. Retrieved November 29, 2018.

Morin, A. (2017, August 23). 10 Signs You're a People-Pleaser. Psychology Today. Retrieved November 29, 2018.

[aminishnamedvaati]

"You pretend that you're doing alright, but you're actually hurting on the inside"
Me in one sentence

[Traxie]

3:00
*they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you're fine but you're not really fine-*

[aarushisingh]

1. Fear of conflict
2. you can't say no
3. desire or obligation
4. hard on yourself
5. you pretend to be ok

[rea]

I had to train myself how to say no. Now I can say it, but I still feel a bit guilty after I do (work in progress...) 🙂

[NewbyTon]

#1
If you please people, you're probably a people pleaser

[leonelceja]

Anyone else feel like they are a “people pleaser”? ✋🏼

[the.fairyonearth]

I guess I am a people pleaser. My parents aren't extremely pushy, but they expect I get good grades, and many other things of such.. It's not to an extent like "YOU MUST GET ALL A'S OR ELSE YOU FAILED, " its more of a "Get a's. I guess a b here and there is alright."
I have horrible self esteem issues, I'm not confident in my abilities, and I always feel like it's my job to make all my friends happy. I feel when they're sad, it's my fault for not helping sooner, and it makes me feel like a terrible friend.
So yeah, I guess I am a people pleaser.

Edit: Hey, thank you all for the support. You're all so kind and you've made a bigger impact than you may realise. Over this year especially, since we're all stuck indoors, I've been working on improving myself. I'm getting better at speaking my mind, thinking positively of myself, and am trying to put myself and my mental health before anything else. I can look in the mirror and think "there's a girl who's happy, beautiful, proud, and smart, " and mean it. It's taken a lot of work, and I still have a long way to go, but I'm making progress. My friends still mean the world to me, but I try not to bash myself down if I can't help them. I'll always offer my hand to help them, but if I can't help, I can't help, and that's not on me. I'm doing much better, grade-wise, and it's no longer a fear that I'll fail my parents for getting bad grades. They're very proud of my progress, in fact.
To anyone else who has or currently is struggling, I believe in you, I really do. You can do great things if you put your mind to it. Eat healthy, take a walk at least once a week (maybe more), and try to find the good in yourself. You will see the negatives in yourself more than anyone else will. Your happiness and your mental health should always come first. Don't stop being a wonderful friend, offer help if you can, but if it's going to damage your mental health in the process, don't do that to yourself. You're the most important person in your life, it's your story. If you need a friend who can sympathize with you, know that you have me. I may not always be able to help, but you aren't alone, and I'm here for you. Remember to drink some water and eat something today. Get plenty of sleep tonight! Love you all, and thank you again for your support. You really made a difference. ♥️

[coachbahman]

I felt this video to my core. My parents never showed me any love, they would never listen to me, never show any kind of love and would expect way to much for a little kid suffering from severe ADD. I know they loved me and I do love them back, just wish they would have showed that when it really mattered....

In the end it showed me the importance of love and affection and that you should never take it for granted. I always remind my fiance I love her with all my heart and will continu do to so with my future children.

*If you have been mistreated, make sure you leave this world in a better place than you found it.*

[kleenextissues]

I've always had anxiety since I was a little kid, I just want people to feel happy because I'm too scared to take time for myself. I can't say no to people, and it hurts when I do. I have to just make everyone feel happy and make sure no one feels worse than me. I'm super hard on myself and I don't take my failures well. I always say I'm fine especially when I'm not, because I don't like having people worry about me when I'm supposed to be worrying about them. I bottle up my emotions and don't like to talk about my problems, no matter how serious or threatening they are to me. Taking time for myself and just saying no is something I'm trying my best to get better at. It's a slow and difficult process, but I'm trying.

[seastone]

Is that lofi in the background!? it’s near!? Finally some real music...

[nimaizal]

I kinda hate being a people pleaser and an introvert. People want to ask me out but I don't want to but if I say no I feel bad but if I do go out I still feel bad and tired 😩

*edit* : I don't feel this anymore ever since I got myself out of a toxic friendship. Although I still don't like going to parties etc, I really am looking forward to spend time with people more, and I hope anyone who had the same experience as me will get through this situation too!

[morbidmoments]

I learned to be a people pleaser from being raised in an abusive home. It wasn't love withheld... It was a survival skill that kept me from being attacked as often.

My survival skills were to stay invisible as much as possible, and people please whenever I couldn't hide.

I still do it. I hate it.

[connyaaaa]

The thing is- I’m a people pleaser but I grew up in a loving home that didn’t put extreme expectations on me. I just think sometimes people in a healthy household can become people pleasers cause they want to please their parents in a way that it keeps the healthiness. It might also be cause by bullying? One might want to please others in fear of being bullied again?

[HaikyuuNoodleSoup]

When you’re always busy listening and being kind to others, you never have time to care for yourself physically and or mentally, and soon you’re emotions start boiling over, from the pressure of getting good grades, living up to your parents standards, and no one letting you vent, complain, or cry on their shoulder. Me in a short description.

[tginactive]

I definitely struggle with being a people pleaser. It really sucks.

[Traxie]

**when you are early but you have nothing to say**

[TipstoTackle]

Nice video!! It seems everyone of us is a 'people pleaser' one time or the other ! Learning to say NO without hurting others feelings and at the same time "being OK" for saying NO is the toughest part that people pleasers struggle to learn.

[shelbyn]

I come here instead of therapy, because I’m kinda broke? And this channel makes me have a little hope in a strange way, yunno?

[sachinmistry]

My mom always told me to say "Yes" to everyone, and to always help others. Growing up, my voice was never heard and respected. My parents and brother always bossed me around. I always had to work to please them. My parents would never give any praise or validation for what I did. This led to me being bullied and taken advantage of. I had a lot of false friends, and developed a lot of mistrust towards others.

As an adult, I'm trying to learn how to say "No" and to be more aware of my emotions. I'm now more aware of times where I'm feeling drained and need time for myself. I'm trying to be aware of my accomplishments and learning to love myself. Theres definitely a process of healing.

[sarahmcdonnell]

I feel this so much. Years of bullying when I was young has trained me to try and please everyone and that they're always right. I do things I don't want to do, let people use me, and agree with things I dont believe because I feel an overwhelming guilt when I say no. It's lead to issues with over thinking and seriously low self esteem. I keep trying to change and really just can't seem to figure out how 😥