6 Signs You’re Unintentionally Toxic, Not Malicious

Have you ever asked yourself: Am I toxic? If so, then you are taking a step in the right direction. Being self-aware is the first stage of acceptance that you, and everyone around you, are imperfect. Sometimes, you don’t notice that your habits are harmful to you and your loved ones. That’s why it’s good to learn more about them and how to reduce that behavior. So, here are a few signs you’re unintentionally toxic, but not malicious.

Writer: Chamae
Script Editor: Vanessa Tao
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Mara (New Animator)
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

REFERENCES

[Psychgo]

We have a new animator on the team! Do you like this style?

[mahletabebe]

I hate that society makes us feel like there are “good people” and “toxic people”. All people have some toxic traits. This doesn’t make them a “bad” or “toxic” person. It just means they have stuff to work on.

[yelyahfanx]

"Ah, yes, my fear confirmed. I was looking for more reasons to hate myself" - all of us, probably

[ioneastra]

The "practical and realistic" part is so spot on
That's exactly my excuse on pessimism

[shaunasugar]

When you said being too sensitive can be toxic it definitely made me think of myself. Sometimes I need reassurance but every now and then I think I ask for *too* much reassurance… it’s good to be checked. Thanks Psych2Go! ❤️

[alkamist]

This video basically describes my whole personality. 😥 I wish that I could do better, but I always seem to fall back down again. Thanks for the video Psych2Go.

[unknownuser]

I definitely feel like I've been unintentionally toxic. Adverse experiences suck, but it's not forever. Thank you, and I know I can make things better.

[wantstobeavigilante]

1 - 0:30 : Promises u can't keep
2 - 1:16 u use pitty to get what u want
3 - 2:06 u r defensive
4 - 2:48 u r overly sensitive
5 - 3:45 u r pessimistic
6 - 4:52 u rely on others for validation

[yourpalsamor]

I think I'm unintentionally toxic. I always need my friends validation for everything. I don't know how to ask for help, and I guilt trip them. Now that I think back on it, everytime I asked my parents for help they'd lash out due to my choice of timing. Friends would think I were to look more confident if I refused help and did everything myself. I always see the worst of things due to not getting much from people. I usually only receive bad news from family and friends. I don't have a shoulder to lean on, someone I can vent to. I'm overly sensitive. Everytime something harsh is thrown my way (friend or not) I take it literally, I can't seem to take jokes or anything. I associate my happiness with certain people, I cling to them for support and other unimportant things, I can't tell if they are uncomfortable or don't want the pressure of someone relying on them all the time. I know that I'm toxic, even if it's unintentional. I care for my family and friends but I don't know how to show it. I make jokes at the worst times and nobody takes me literally.

That's my Story/Situation
Thank's for coming to my TedTalk.

[EDIT] Thank you for the support guys.

[dscorner]

I definitely feel like i am unintentionally toxic sometimes but there’s like two sides to me and it’s so frustrating 😭

[viviansaravanan]

I feel like a major part of social anxiety and abandonment trauma is believing yourself to be toxic when you actually just want to take normal liberties with people. Like, I never arrange to hang out with people I really like because I see that as being “toxic, co-dependent, cluster B behavior.” I guess what I’m trying to say that our fear of being cluster B makes us look like we’re cluster A.

[tealnoise]

I feel like we're all toxic in our own ways, but that's ok. We aren't perfect, but we can try to fix our negatives and become a better person.

[StrawbearXD]

*6 Signs You're Unintentionally Toxic, Not Malicious*
0:29 1) You make a lot more promises than you can keep.
1:17 2) You use pity to get the things you want.
2:05: 3) You’re defensive.
2:51 4) You’re overly sensitive.
3:45 5) You’re exceedingly pessimistic.
4:52 6) You rely on other people for validation.

:)

[oddgamingcat]

I try not to depend on people for validation, but it's hard. I feel like I can't trust my own judgment or that I just need to make sure people aren't annoyed with me to the point I think I'm actually annoying them. My grandma told me overly apologizing for every little thing actually makes me annoying, not the fact I was having a good time talking.

[rixiant]

Kind of needed to hear this. I lost a friend few months ago and I blamed myself for it even though I didn't fully know the reason. I already knew I wasn't being a good friend but didnt know how it all went wrong. I am doing better now and I am actively trying to better myself.

[viviansaravanan]

“Try to run words through your head before you say them out loud.” That’s me! Always self-censoring until things herniate out strangely from the pressure of keeping them in.

[SomeGuy-gczs]

I appreciate the use of Adventure Time characters, because that show LOVES to talk about feelings and interpersonal relationships. Every single one of them, including the good guys like Finn, is occasionally balls to the wall toxic, but, as this video is intended to help people do, they acknowledge their faults and their actions, and start to grow past them, and it's kind of the whole point of the show. I am definitely the pessimistic type. Way I see it, I'm either right and prepared, or pleasantly surprised, but I do try not to let that leak all over everyone else.

[glebolkhovsky]

I do wonder about the "too sensitive" part - of course one shouldn't take everything to heart, yet I think many people are not *sensitive enough* .
In a world when unnecessary brovado and risks, toughness, numbness of emotions are praised, there should be place for consideration, graciousness and compassion, going the extra mile sometimes for someone who needs it.

[anonymouse]

Yes I have been feeling really down about myself, have certainly been unintentionally & a bit emotionally manipulative in some situations, but now I realize it's bc 1) I was around other ppl who also had a lot of these toxic traits or maybe were actually toxic in general and 2) I've had a lot of bad experiences of being gaslighted, bullied, not heard when I was in in literal danger or in situations that crossed my boundaries or could have lead to danger. It also took me a long time to speak up for myself, so for a long time I was the "bottle up then blow up" person. So even someone I couldn't get along with internally I would be super nice to or even have as a close friend but probably both out of too much empathy for the other, suppression of my own emotions, fear of losing them, etc I wouldn't show any signs of being upset until years down the line when they did something that was the last straw; then I would snap. I also have so much anxiety due to past experiences and do enter a lot of situations believing the person either hates me or cares so little about me. And I think this thinking also creates some automatic mistrust and even a little loathing of the other person before I truly even get to know them. But I've been trying to be more compassionate towards myself about all the times I messed up bc that's the only way to truly get better rather than beating yourself up about it.
Most of the ppl I was toxic to I felt that they had been toxic to me also (like "friends" spreading rumors about me, talking sh*t about me on social media groups, getting way too involved in personal situations and then giving me half the truth, etc) but the main issue is I confronted them about it many years later and I also kinda tried to "get back" at them by mirroring their actions or escalating the situation. I never named names, but I did make passive comments about them on social media where I figured some ppl would know who I was talking about. But looking back now, I wish I'd just waited until the right moment to have a calm discussion, since I know I didn't have the skills to stand up for myself many years ago. Even if you're being toxic towards a toxic person or trynna get revenge on them, I would not try it. It's a rabbit hole that never ends and then you get more drained. At the end of the day, you don't wanna be like the ppl who hurt you even if you think it's "justified"->don't fight fire with fire. Also, some ppl are not intentionally this way so even if they're hella annoying, I'd say just be upfront in the nicest way possible and if they wanna discuss with you they will, or leave them be. Trust me, it'll save so much time and energy. If you find yourself getting attached to ppl who are not good for your character-building, that's another thing to look at. Why do you find yourself around ppl like this? There's something internal to that too.
Most importantly, forgive yourself, and don't take kind ppl for granted. It was when I ignored all the kind ppl that actually gave a sh*t and who I didn't have to "put up" with or "cling to" or feel "on the edge" with that I felt myself so much less bitter than I ever had before. And I couldn't believe it. It was kinda uncomfortable at the beginning, to be around such generous, warm, kind-hearted but that's a normal response to anyone who's been burnt a few too many times. I even found myself more forgiving towards myself and even those who hurt me. I rlly wish we could have more nuanced discussions about toxicity bc so much of it stems from ppl's bad experiences/trauma; I know there legit be some toxic a$$holes out there but I feel like there are many more ppl who are complicated human beings that are scared of the coldness of the world and need some true kindness. I actually hope that one day me and all the ppl in my life who also had a bunch of toxic traits can return to each other after having experienced some wonderful things/relationships in our lives and be at peace again. Don't hold onto hate or labels. And don't forget that the first step starts with you taking ownership of your part and your toxicity; don't sit around and wait to see if other ppl care to own up to their sh*t. You may not have control over a whole lot in this world, but you have a lot of control over yourself, and don't wait for others to change yourself.

[breadloaf]

Man I feel attacked, the last three points hit home. I realized how insecure I was and troubled by other peoples opinions of me. I was so concerned about what others thought of me and needed validation from it.
I notice I often send photos of my paintings to people, seeking out a positive reaction to it. Because I needed validation that it was good, even though I knew it was good in my eyes.
I think this stems from my Anxiety however, seeing that I’m constantly stressed with what I look like, how I act, etc. this is what led me to this video, I was just asking myself if I was toxic because of the way that I am and clicked this video. So honestly, I don’t know if I’m toxic or if it’s just the Anxiety 🤷‍♀️