How to deal with Narcissistic people? | Buddhism In English

© Shraddha TV

Mahamevnawa Bodhignana Monastery,
Hewagama, Kaduwela, Sri Lanka.

[PrasadPrasad-cqmh]

You can't change narcissist with kindness, they see compassion and kindness as weakness, I tried almost 21 years, and I lost my most valuable time.

[flower_goddess]

Narcissist are very dangerous people. Once you figure out who they are it is best to get out of the relationship. We don’t have to hate them we don’t have to be angry at them but we should not give them any access because they do not have any boundaries.

[susmitapatnayak]

With due respect to you, sir, I have completed 30 years with a narcissist. I can assert with confidence that no amount of patience, compassion helps at all.It ultimately consumes you and leaves you defeated.Coz a narcissist never changes at all.I don't mean to offend you, sir.But ths is my own experience.

[Vinaya]

My ex-husband is a covert narcissist... pretending to be a very great human being in front of the world, but is very selfish and stone-hearted in reality. I continued with the marriage despite being abused in every way, in the hope that one fine day loving kindness will make him feel bad, and force him to transform his inner self. He was also aware of himself, and his insecurities and hatred for people since his childhood.

But, after 7.5 years of mental, emotional, verbal abuse and multiple extra marital affairs, he had finally folded me in. From a happy person, I had become a Trainwreck, who had no reason to exist.

He wanted a divorce on his terms, and all he told me was a "sorry, I'm a bad human being, and I can never change"!

A narcissistic personality type must be left alone to face themselves, their hatred for themselves and all the world, their genuine anger for all things kind, loving and caring. When they have no 'host' or 'supply' they are forced to survive on their own - which puts them in a corner. They no longer have any energy to go on in their lives, and need to find another 'supply' (temporary fix) or transform themselves through spiritual practices (permanent solution)

I agree with you, kind Sir, that loving kindness has great power, yet at the same time, we must protect ourselves from being completely consumed by the narcissist.

Leaving them to face their own karma is the best🙏

[rajyalaxmichapgaon]

Psychologists are of the opinion that one cannot change a narcissist; rather, one should run from them and go no-contact. Being patient, kind and understanding with them is always seen by them as 'narcissistic supply' and they love it as it feeds their narcissistic tendencies.

[emeraldlotusbylori]

Everything you are saying is what I did for 25 years. I follow many Buddhist teachings, but I am not here to be a doormat. Self love and self worth are more important than mental and emotional abuse.

[gayaratnayake]

I have been dealing with a narcissistic husband for 17 years and ended up as a depressed mother after tolerating all his abusive behavior. As a Buddhist I tried to see all good in him and ignored the bad . But now I suffer with narcissistic abuse syndrome which is not very easy to come out of . Not only me even my daughter.

[jeremiasimmig]

The best thing you can do when dealing with a narcissist is just walk away...I dealt with a narcissistic father for 40 years and they never change. That's why it's classified as a personal disorder. Surround your self with people who uplift you and support you ❤

[qd]

I agree with many commentaries here that Your Venerable's advice on narcissists are not helpful in real life. Victims of narcissists often see their kindness being taken advantage of, narcissists are very good at manipulating people, even breaking people's heart to get what they want. Stay kind in your heart, don't let the narcissists change you, but you may need stronger boundaries and stay away from these people, or reduce your contact with them.

[ananditaadhikary]

I don't believe that only kindness can heal them, I frankly feel only Divine intervention can heal them and that's a rarity 🙏🌹

[yvonnepennington]

Thank you for your advice. Unfortunately I have to agree with many of the comments below...people who have been involved with narcissists have usually shown extreme kindness, compassion and patience . But the more kindness. Compassion and patience we show ...the more abusive the narcissists behaviour becomes....and the more abused and destroyed we become. A more useful talk would be on how to let go with love and compassion in our hearts. If we are not being shown love and kindness by we have to leave order to protect ourselves.... In order to move forward we have to keep love in our hearts for ourselves and the narcissist...PS ...narcissists NEVER listen ...
We know they need our help ...but they don't want to know that ...

[yasminjassat]

A narcissistic will always be a Narcissistic, bully, selfish and greedy!! I tried all your tactics for over 20 years. Didn't work.Get rid of these toxic people and see the positive changes in your life. X

[patricia_]

I was patient for a long time, I’ve become assertive and didn’t let my narcissistic brother walk all over me and a big war came out of this. Not spoke to him for the past 2 years. I’ve been hurt, suffered from depression like never before. These type of people don’t deserve your kindness and this is from my own personal experience.

[LovelUp]

Unfortunately, most narcissist don't know how to love themselves properly. They have a hard time being humbled and learning from thier mistakes because of how fragile thier ego is. In their mind they don’t have any issues, and because of this belief they will not change. No matter how much love and patients you give them, they will always feel that you are the one with the issues and will suck you dry of your love because they don't know how to love themselves. Kindness, love, and patents works in most situations in life, but not for a narcissist. I wish it did. 😔

[rinchua]

I left an over 10 years friendship because I need to protect my mental health more. I can't take petty quarrels from her narcissist heart anymore. If I have done anything, I have given my all in these many years. May Buddha heal her and heal me as well.

[KMVNZ]

There is no changing a narcissist. They think they do nothing wrong. Don't hurt. They don't love as they can't. I wasted years on hoping. I got trauma. He has a new supply. But I respect this video. Thank you.

[happydays]

Thank you so much for your great wisdom. My dear mother was a narcissist and my sister is too...very like my mum. I loved them both dearly all my life, always kind, listening, as patient as I could be. They never changed, always selfish, hurtful, treat you like you only exist for them. I have to limit my time around them for my own sanity, but not 'falling out' with them. Always there when they need me. They make you feel like a 'non-person' when you're with them. So sad when it's your close loved ones.

[mLify]

Giving a narcissist attention feeds their abusive behavior. Removing them from your life and practicing compassion from a distance is the only way interrupt the disordered behavior and maintain peaceful healthy boundaries in your life. The more attention you give them, the worse they treat you. They never change.

[flowergirl]

Narcissists often target empathic people so we also have to use discernment and wisdom in not letting ourselves be abused and manipulated. You can be 'kindly detached', inflict no harm and step away. Thank you.

[jiyefuuu]

Approached them with kindness for years and end up taken advantage of to the point of mental breakdown n I had to leave, no contact. They still are in denial and think they're right