10 things narcissists can do to change their narcissistic behavior

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[snake]

I'm a narcissist, unfortunately the child in me lacked emotional support and my feelings were never validated. I became a manipulative person as an adult to get love and fill a whole of low self esteem and low self worth. I'm selfish for always wanting love but never learned to love and give it back. I hope this video helps me, wish me luck everyone, and good luck to the hurting narcissist that are crying for help.

[Nicstarmoore]

Narcissist’s create narcissists. When I faced this fact in my own family I slowly started to see how I was displaying the same behaviors. Had I not seen it in others, I would’ve never have seen it in myself. Thank you for this. It is a daily challenge to not fall into old patterns but I’d much rather have the life and relationships I have now than ever go back.

[dagemartinez]

I am a NARCISSIST, I WORK SO HARD TO CHANGE AND ITS BRUTAL AT TIMES. MY THINKING "PATTERN" is engrained in me I find myself in a constant battle. Thank you for this, I am trying to learn how to recognize and fix my issues. My wife helps, God gently shows me, and I try to approach everything being aware of it. Your guidance is priceless to me, thank you

[fashionspy]

1) Be self aware / Be mindful
2) Take "but" out of your vocabulary
3) Get therapy
4) Be grateful and practice gratitude
5) Focus on meaning and purpose
6) Learn to make amends
7) Create new responses to replace the toxic ones
8) Take responsibility for your own shit
9) Self compassion > Self promotion
10) Stay present
10') Turn around patterns of narcissism
Validation seeking --> offering to others
Lack of empathy --> show it
Entitlement --> Let someone in line if they have less stuff
Arrogance --> Let lther people be in charge
Impulsivity --> Stop and think before you speak
11) RESPOND (mindful and thoughtful), don't react (thoughtless and careless)

[AzharKhan-pyrt]

"You can disagree with people and you can do it respectfully, but you don't ever get to take their reality away." Golden words.

[orpha]

When the pain of being how you are is greater than the pain it would take to change. You will change.

[mmbuq]

I want to give a shout out to every narcissist in here, and congratulate him/her for taking a huge first step for acknowledge there narcissism and start our healing journey! We deserve it, our people around us deserve it and especially our loved ones!
Take care guys! We can make things better !! 💪💪💪

[-knightrider-]

I wished I would have realized that I was a narcissist many years ago. It would have saved me from losing my family after 16 years. Your video is amazing. Thank you for putting this all in perspective for me and providing ways to make a turnaround.

[lasphynge]

There are two messages to be heard and they're not for the same ears:
1- To narcissists, yes, you can change.
2- To victims of narcissists, no, you cannot change your narcissist.
Narcissists can only change on their own initiative and, especially as their victim, you are not in a position to convince them to do so. That's why it so seldom happens and that's why everybody will tell you they don't change even though, technically, they *could.* It's just that in the vast majority of cases, they *won't, * and *your* efforts to make them are sunk cost.

[hissyfitz]

1. Mindfulness - self aware/self monitoring.
2. Eliminate the word “but” - it is defensiveness
3. Get therapy - NPD co-occurs with other mental health issues
4. Focus on gratitude; say thank-you authentically
5. Focus on meaning & purpose ~ ‘skip the superficialities’
6. Learn to make amends
7. Create new responses
8. Take responsibility for YOUR stuff
9. Engage in self-compassion vs self-promotion
10. Take the NPD patterns & turn them around
11. BONUS - Respond - don’t react

[damarismoulterie]

Thank you. I am a narcissist and an abuser. I wrote this down to reflect and do my best at changing my behavior. I want to be a pleasant experience for those around me. Thank you for the hope. ❤

[YuniX]

You know, it's interesting, I'm a teacher of young children, and one thing I notice that lots of children haven't learned that I think a lot of narcissists have also not learned is that guilt and shame occur when we take responsibility for our actions, but that is the price we pay for having friends and being liked. I have a student who desperately wants to be liked, but also refuses to acknowledge her own bad behavior or the way she dismisses other kids feelings. I am working hard with her to teach her how to manage feelings of sadness, shame, and anger. She says "no one wants to be my friend" and I say "Name, I've noticed you are asking for other kids to play your way, but not taking turns and playing their way some of the time. I know you want to have fun playing your way, which is great! But if we want to have friends, things cannot always be our way. You are a fun kid, can we give other kids their way sometimes?" and she says to me "But I want things MY way" and starts to cry, haha. I'm still teaching her to breath, look for solutions when calm, take responsibility, and the power of "I can't do it... YET." This poor kid has no coping skills. I wonder if people who don't have parents or teachers like me, who are aware of skills deficits like this, often end up narcissists. This perfectionism and rigidity is distressing her so much. But yesterday she came to me wanting to apologize to another student of her own volition. A huge step, we made a big deal out of her being brave enough to apologize even though she was scared. It's definitely something that can be addressed.

[PoliticalSci]

my narcissist father has seen this and realizes how his childhood abuse turned him into a narcissist.
Dr Ramani is a saint

[stefaniacocosila]

Thank you for this. After accepting my narcissism traits and listening to how it's impossible to change, I went down a dark path as I felt that there was no hope for me no matter how hard I would work. It's good to know that if you want to change it's possible. Everyone needs hope in life, even narcisists.

[Infiniteeverything]

I have ruined so many things with this behaviour. It’s been tough to accept. I’ve been so angry and defensive found it really hard to take accountability for my actions. I’m here for the journey. Heys guys, knowing others are in the same boat is helpful. ❤

[madelinemontgomery-collins]

Thank you. I'm in tears right now.... I didn't used to be this person, but somehow I feel like I've turned into the monster I was once married to, and my current husband is suffering. I genuinely believed I was doing my best, doing THE best, and it hit me like a ton of bricks - I've become a vulnerable narcissist. I don't want to be this way anymore. It's become a cycle that hurts me, my husband, and our kids. I want to be happy and to encourage happiness in others. Thank you so much for your tips.

[Da_Shark]

Thank god for this video everything I see is "how to avoid a narcissist" or "healing after being with a narcissist" I just want to fix myself I hurt people I truly loved who no longer want anything to do with me for good reason I want to fix myself and hopefully contact those people I hurt show I've changed fix what I've done and maybe be allowed back into their lives because it was a privallage I miss so much I miss my friends I miss my ex and don't want to be a villain and a liar I want people to trust me not because I made them THINK they can trust me but because they actually can I want to be trustworthy

[ordogordanier]

I spotted this pattern in myself. I can't afford therapy. But I try to attend the 2 sessions by phone a month that the government provides in DBT group therapy. So I have my guitar, and I have this video. Every day I watch it once and try to implement what she says. It's all I got. And it's helping to just finally see the pattern and a rough road map out.
Thank you Dr. Ramani.

[misterstrangeladyadventure]

Oh my... this is so accurate about me. I have destroyed relationships, multiple jobs, and pushed away almost everyone in my life. I have few friends... I have hurt those around me, with no regard to the impact of my actions... I am a monster. I have tried all the things mentioned with little progress because I always revert to being negative, grumpy, and mean. I want to change this so very badly in my life, I don't want to die alone. It is so hard to practice these skills every day, and feel any progress I ever make still ends In disaster... It takes about 8 years, and I always find myself starting over at square one. I want help. I'm so sorry... truly sorry.

[IndigoAngel]

I'm a pathological liar and I am always faking my image to others and mirroring others so that they will want me and I especially love to make others feel special. But when I let down the mask with someone I become emotionally intense. This guy I've admitted I'm a narcissist to makes me realise I can value others and I'm scared he's going to leave me but I wouldn't blame him if he did 😢 "I want him I want him I WANT HIM." I've already lied to him and told him I was unwell to get out of meeting him because I simply couldn't be arsed to meet him. That wasn't a 'pathological lie' because I was aware I lied, I simply didn't care. I care about him being hurt if he knew. Why? Because he won't want me anymore. I'm scum. I'm self-serving, shameful scum. Now come the sadistic thoughts. Thanks for this video Dr. Ramani.