The seaweed strategy for surviving narcissistic relationships

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[whiskersandtailsII]

OMG, that is exactly how I got trapped. Everything happened so fast, my head was spinning. I saw the red flags early and I even broke up with him at one point, but he convinced me to give him another chance and within weeks he announced to his family that "we" decided to live together. We never discussed living together and when I confronted him, he made me feel like I kicked a puppy. Once he moved in, I was trapped. I had asked him to leave so many times and he refused to leave the house. Even the cops refused to remove him because it was "his legal address". That's when I realized he knew exactly what he was doing. I lived eight years in hell before I finally left MY house so I could get away from him. By that time, he was really nasty on a daily basis and I would have rather lost the house than lose my sanity. I did eventually get him out of the house and was able to move back in. Of course he told everyone that I threw him out of HIS house. Bottom line, if you feel like a relationship is moving to fast, listen to your gut.

[karenaxalan]

Thank you, Dr. Ramani. Because of you, I'm now paying attention to my body signals instead of ignoring them. I've been ignoring these for years and kept entangled by seaweeds.😬

[kkbpeacd]

Thank you so much for this. Dr Ramani, can you please talk about "down playing the narcissist abuse" when you try to convince yourself that their abuse wasn't that bad, especially when there wasn't a lot of the physical abuse.

[jeahluna]

Eastern culture, where as a kid you can’t say anything back and needs to follow your parent at all times . Seeing one parent suffering from abuse and the other one suffering from alcohol addiction, it was a dysfunctional family system somehow I’m thankful that I survived..learning this made me mindful of how to handle relationships around me. One thing I learned is most things take time. If your gut telling u something isn’t right it is mostly right.

[villasoka]

I heard a great way to describe their behaviour. They wet the bed and blame the blanket!
Love it 😂
They switch it up to suit the target, very versatile!

[wildwestwindows]

PERFECT illustration! I was so entangled that the even the sharks were circling!
33+years seaweed wrapped and free 90 days.

[Wildevis]

Great analogy as I am also a certified diver. I think this seaweed metaphor is more dangerous than a direct approach as you keep second guessing yourself if there are really red flags as it sneaks up on you, a bit of a sideways crab action, to continue the sea-analogy lol

[beritter]

This video was so helpful. With my ex, who I share a child with, there was not much "love bombing" as I previously understood it. But the entanglement was hard, fast, deep, all of it...our lives were completely enmeshed within a few months and next thing I knew, 4 years later, after having a child with him, I was discarded over night when our son was 7 weeks old and asking myself "what in the f-ing world just happened?!?!" Your videos constantly help me make heads and tails of it, thank you!

[JUBEJU]

I left my abusive partner after less than a year of marriage and seeing the signs of abuse and recognizing the gaslighting. I've sustained a lot of damage even though the relationship was short and we fortunately live in different countries. It became very clear when I noticed their personality change the day after the wedding. I also recently started to realize that I may be an empath, and it's been very difficult getting back into a world that seems so toxic now. I have really had to retreat and put up very close boundaries. Thank you Dr. Ramani for covering some of these topics, it has really helped me understand myself and my relationships. I look forward to healing so I can in turn help heal others.

[sidrakamal]

Takeaway: don’t ignore your gut feelings because of the practical appearance

[korab.]

Narcissism is the glitter of relationships. It's never completely gone. Glitter covered seaweed.

[blanchecoker]

Dr Ramani, I have SO much respect for the work you are doing to help so many people. I can't say enough good things about you. I could not have gotten where I am today in my marriage or with my family if it wasn't for you, your books and these fantastic videos. My dad is probably one of the worst narcissists I have ever known of. My mom is still with him even after she has divorced him he is still living with her and what she has been through is a horror show if you knew all the details. I have been encouraging her to watch your videos for help and I bought your book for her. I have been able to handle my own situation and stay sane thanks to you. Just wanted to send you some appreciation and love this morning!!! ❤️

[CGMcDonald]

We need to take time and listen to what our insides are telling us as opposed to the other person's (who may or not be a narcissist) logic i. e "why pay two rents". Dr Ramini a great post.

[lisawhited]

After I listen to you It truly gives me hope.
I feel more empowered.
Again I admit to being in a 30+ year NA Abuser with my husband.
He is a taker from me... I got a $25.000 inheritance from a close love one. And the check wasn't even opened & I could see the wheels turn on his head. Then come the words " I will pay you back"
Never gonna happen.. They TAKE & Don't give a damn.
The seaweed that has captured me has been my fault for a rush into a marriage & being pregnant. I would have never married if I would have known the hell he would put me through. It's NOT worth it.
I am moving forward cause my boys are grown. I don't have the guilt of what if I leave?
I am for anyone living together!!!😐
Take YOUR time people!! Learn from me. It's not a joke it's All REAL😟

[mademoisellecm]

Amen. I will move at my own pace. If it is too slow for you then God bless and keep it moving.

[WildStar]

Tangential story: Utah native at beach in North San Diego County. Only two of us on the beach, except for the lifeguard. Wading far from shore and some seaweed floated by and my friend didn't know what it was. Over the sound of the waves, I yelled that it was "Kelp! It's kelp!" The lifeguard, thought we were in trouble, because he misheard what I had said. 🤣

Anyway, fantastic channel! Thank you, Dr. Ramani for going into incredible detail on all aspects of narcissistic emotional abuse so we can protect ourselves and heal. I walked away from my family of birth three years ago and that was one of the best decisions I ever made. Working on disentangling from the toxic narcissist ex now. Thanks again!

[survivorxyz]

this sounds so familiar. I did not know what a narcissistic relationship is. There are things that he started doing in addition to love bombing … like providing service for my house in many different ways … then I got fooled and thought that this person is a giver … and then I fell for him. Thank you Dr. Ramani I am struggling now to get out of such a relationship because as you have mentioned I got entangled quickly (as you described seaweed effect) before I even realized the effects on my mental health. You are doing an amazing job by keep reminding us that leaving is the best option and not to fool ourselves by their seaweed effects. Thank you ❤️

[moulyam]

Because of Dr. Ramani today I'm in the position to stay strong and positive. currently I'm going through the blackmailing phase with a narc..I'm exhausted and scared like hell. but these talks holding my back. thank you doctor for being there for less cautious girls like us.

[natalieparker]

Good analogy. I always thought of my son’s narc ex as the cat and the rabbit - her whole goal, just like the seaweed, was to get her claws in so deep that he could not escape. She wanted to get him on the hook for all the income and working, pass off her debts to him, and give him all the responsibilities so she could begin her life of retirement at age 25. She wouldn’t even be responsible for home chores like cooking and cleaning. What a worthless dud she was😂. Dr Ramani is right on with these notes on not getting entangled by daily life, take lots of time and protect yourself, watch for red flags.

[ThePrettyMiss]

Dr Ramani you are so on point! Its exactly how the entanglement/addictionship went with the narc. We were both 33 years old. No kids. We moved together after 1 month of knowing each other and i was pregnant after 3 months. He introduced me to all his family the second week. Used my car, borrow me money. He invaded my appartement very quick. Never respected the 50/50 rent. Making me think i was the one he was waiting for all his life to start a family, that i was his everything. I got engaged after 6 month. The devaluation was already started at this staged. He compared me with his ex, accused me that i never did enought for him that i was selfish but all the financeswas on my shoulder. Made me believe that i was to sensitive, that i take things to personal, i didnt have the sense of sharing or valuing a men. I stayed, already pregnant, thinking he would change... he blamed is verbal abused on his impulsiness. He never took the accountability for his behavior.