How To Respond To A Narcissist's Irrational Anger

When narcissists become angry, it is virtually impossible to reason with them. Dr. Les Carter explains that narcissism itself is built upon an irrational foundation so it is logical that they will have irrational emotions. He breaks down what you need to understand about their anger, then focuses on staying steady as you decide how to respond.

It also is available on Google, Apple, Spotify, and Amazon.

Sign up for Dr. Carter's course: Ready, Set, Connect
Get 20% off when you use the coupon code: rsc20youtube

Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.

You can follow Surviving Narcissism on:
Twitter: @SNarcissism101
Instagram: @survivingnarcissism101
Facebook: @survivingnarcissism101

Dr. Carter has two other courses that you may find to be useful:

[meowu]

A narcissist's idea of right and wrong amounts to "Right is what I want and wrong is when someone denies it to me."

[lacecurtainirish]

“Irrational anger” is a polite way to say it. My sister’s anger was more on par with a toddler’s temper tantrum. The pivotal moment for me was when I learned to calmly respond rather than react to those tantrums. She seemed shocked that I was no longer manipulated by her angry fits and almost frightened that I suddenly saw her for who she was. At that point, she started to double down on her smear campaign and called her flying monkeys into action. Didn’t really matter at that point though. I was done. I’m going on my third year of no contact. Hasn’t been easy but it sure has been peaceful.

[ghostAD]

Narcissists want you to give up everything to be their NOTHING.

[sharonjones]

Baiting you into an argument and manipulating you when you stand up for yourself and then playing the victim is how they operate-and then giving you the silent treatment when YOU don’t apologize.

[faegrrrl]

There's no anger. There's terrifying rage.

[ericb]

I was raised by a rager father. Never knew when he was going to become violent. It set me up to be terrified of people’s anger. I became a people pleaser and a narc magnet. I’m just now learning how to cope when I see anger in someone. I’m in my 60s. It’s never too late. I’ve also gotten all narcissists out of my life. Finally have peace. 🎉

[robertcuthill]

"You're not allowed to have a voice" Bingo!!

[kazzcopes]

Dealing with a narcissist is like dealing with a crazy person you can’t reason with them.

[portiamaema]

They are either angry or in the verge of becoming angry. I think that's the "egg shell" phenomenon I've heard you talk about on here. You just learn to tip toe around them. The hefty price for peace.

[Mehmet-rwbu]

I'm afraid narcissists or emotinal abusers in general are always angry and irrational. Not showing interest in you as a person at all but demanding your attention all the time is a kind of anger. Criticizing you all the time is a kind of anger. Twisting facts and manipulation is a kind of anger. Gaslighting is a kind of anger. And doing all these things is irrational.

Knoweledge is the best weapon against these creatures and therefore I'm looking forward to learning more 👌

[nancytwigg]

Don't give them what they want. Don't take their bait. Respect yourself and your values; stay above the fray. Anger will mangle your true self. Move toward dignity, respect, and civility, even if serving only your party of one. Make peace your premium priority!

[brainretardant]

Narcissist rage, great subject. Laughing makes them madder

[AlwaysStampinVideos]

Ok. (Walks away.)

Edited to clarify… How does one respond to a narcissist’s irrational anger? By saying “ok” (with no real need to agree or disagree but to simply move on) and then walk away. It works. They might become more angry. But their anger is not your responsibility- nor is it your problem. Move on and be narcissist free.

[afakkobyab]

3 years ago, thanks to this channel, I started to identify narcissists in my life. Intimate relations, then work. Now I am living without all the stress these individuals dumping onto my life. You saved lots of people like me Dr. Carter. A very sincere and warm thank you from bottom of my heart. Love to Gus as well. :D

[grandmaslifeandstories]

11:44 “Their goal is to make you feel weak and defeated.”

[teresadias]

My narc will talk for hours and not allow me to talk. It's fascinating. If I try to say something I'm being manipulative. Does anyone have this going on. His tantrums are mind boggling. At first I found it distressing, now it's comical. I'm on my way out. To all of you experiencing this, run. Don't let anyone take your beautiful light.

[joannemaxwell]

I have found myself having Reactive Anger to the abuse and defamation and destruction of everything I own and love. Plus I'm bone tired, soul tired. An indescribable exhaustion.

[Anne-pkgs]

I once told my narc to grow the eff up & I thought he might pass out. This was before I knew what narcissism was. Funny, I always thought it was about physical appearance. Ha, 20 years in I finally discovered the reason I’ve been living in hell & it also explains the lifetime of misery dealing with a narc mother. Dear God, help us, these people are everywhere 🙏

[mioara]

Narcissists conscience is underdeveloped .... Excellent said 👌🏻

[chaotic.content]

narcissists think they're the only people who get to be angry and that the things they're angry about are the only things worth being angry about. if you're mad at them, they're the victim.