Are They A Fearful Avoidant Or Covert Narcissist? 9 Differences!

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In today's video, Thais Gibson shares 9 crucial differences between the fearful avoidant attachment style (disorganized attachment style) and the covert narcissist. Watch now to find out what these 9 differences are so that you can quickly identify a fearful avoidant from a covert narcissist as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!

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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:16 - What Is a Covert Narcissist?
00:02:41 - What Is a Fearful Avoidant?
00:03:56 - 9 Key Differences
00:04:09 - Grandiose Sense of Self
00:06:19 - Requires Attention and Admiration
00:10:37 - Fantasies of Power
00:16:20 - IAT Promo
00:17:13 - Sense of Entitlement
00:17:42 - Social Climbers
00:20:35 - 7 Day Free Trial: Overcome Narcissistic Abuse
00:20:54 - Willing to Exploit
00:21:22 - Lacking Empathy
00:22:42 - Preoccupation with Envy
00:23:21 - Conclusion

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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.

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Our Youtube videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.

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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #FearfulAvoidant #FearfulAvoidantAttachment #DisorganizedAttachment #DisorganizedAttachmentStyle #FearfulAvoidantCourse #CovertNarcissist #WhatIsTheCovertNarcissist

[ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Get personalized courses, live webinars & Q&As, and more for free for 7 days!

[finetrue]

As a healing FA, I realized a lot of my behaviors were driven by deep belief that I was less worthy and inferior than other people. Also, I am very empathetic, but sometimes paid too much attention about other’s feelings, and tried to please others as a result. Also, FA do not actively manipulate people to control or make use of them. Instead FA look for authentic and deep connections that they can trust. All these are completely the opposite of a narcissist.

[sifublack]

This is a great video. Not only does it show that the term "narcissist" is thrown around far too loosely these days, it shows most people have no idea what a narcissist actually is. Having a friend for over a decade who is an FA whilst having had narcissists try to fight me because I don't agree with their talking points, I can spot either one a mile away and your video was spot on!

[OtsuDC]

You know the ending solidified it for me. She can’t accept the things I told her that she was doing that made me feel unloved, unappreciated, and manipulated, because that would make her feel shame. She couldn’t handle being in the wrong, and had to deflect or turn it on me because being in the wrong triggers shame. Reflecting on how her actions made me feel triggered shame, so the most I would get is “I’m sorry you didn’t deserve that.” But it never felt genuinely remorseful or real. Like she was just saying the words 10 feet away with arms crossed.

[gregoryritchie]

Your CLARITY in differentiating the two is much needed and greatly appreciated.

[faithstephen-esuakpor]

What I am experiencing is that he loves to associate with only people of status and loves to talk about his achievements and how people respect him because of these. It is so exhausting

[MarcioGaspar-qm]

My ex gf was a covet narc... she played the victim so much .. gaslighting so much ... lies and lies, cheating, trickle truths ... I have been in no contact for the last 2 weeks...it was madness !! Silent treatment ... she would take my words and twist them ...

[gergialiv]

How I see a narcissist vs an avoidant in terms of how they’re different is a evil killer isn’t the same as someone in self defence like yes they’re deaths in both but one is evil the narcissist vs the avoidant scared to love and didn’t want to kill but wanted to protect themselves completely different

[irena_stolic]

Thank you so much for this video! Everything argument is to the point!

[robbo]

Some fearful avoidants come out of a relationship with a narcissist, then through therapy and coaching videos, become experts in power play dynamics to arm themselves, and through that suddenly exhibit many narcissustic traits through self defence

[Jaguarsnake]

Sneaky is best word. She'll put me down and then I'll be hurt. Then she'll make up something that rhymes w the hurtful thing and say she said that. Then ask me why I'm hurting myself

[sillymamacita]

Ahhhh!!! Thank you so much for this!!! My dad is a covert narcissist and my bff is married to one. This is so

[eckbeard]

Thank you for this. My partner treats me like I am a covert narcissist, but I fit all the difference of the fearful avoidant. When I am in a shame spiral and thinking I am worse person in the world she accused me of thinking I was special.

[anothercat]

I have met both and the FA shuts down completely, they don't hoover.
The WoeIsMe vulnerable narc will hoover next Valentines Day etc. When they know the empathic victim might feel vulnerable.

[iamaliveyoucantstopnow]

When in the presence of a covert narc your gut will off! Butterflies in the stomach are not a sign of love. It is the gut saying something is off!

[coygraf]

Thank you! I have been no contact for two years with an ex for that has reach out repeatedly and I was starting to make excuses for

The dynamic is further complicated by the fact that we are both autistic, which brings up the “double empathy paradox” between cognitive empathy/ understanding what someone else might be feeling (which autistic people have difficulty with) and effective empathy/ actually feeling other people’s emotions (which is what narcissists have difficulty with)

This video confirmed for me that they’re a narcissist as well as autistic… and yes, that is possible

Being both a fearful avoidant and autistic… it makes it very difficult to find people click with and build new relationships. Between that fact and almost 2 years of intermittent reinforcement walking away and staying away has been one of the most difficult things I have ever done

Thank you for helping me not relapse!

[ashton]

Great video, thanks for explaining this helpful information so clearly

[spacecat]

Thank you for this. I’m a healing FA so taking up /any/ sort of space or having a sense of selfworth or wanting validation or ambitions just…feels WRONG. Prolly ‘cause I’ve been gaslit all my life and treated like those things would make me a “covert narc” even though I can recognize that as human and even healthy in others…and therefore try to build THEM up so that they don’t have to feel that awfulness I do. It’s like I have to fill a Goodwill Meter to feel like I can dare ask for anything…then never “cashing in.” And having absolute anxiety when I realize I really am stuck needing to rely on others, or even fighting the urge to shove people far, far away if they offer help (they…literally have to insist on it no less than 3 times, and reassure the friendship is Secure Enough.)

[AmyHolmes-pg]

Narcissist, so totally my ex-husband. Zero self-awareness or empathy but very grandiose in his self perception. Enjoyed his reputation, even flaunted that he was called "A bull in a China shop", or the hatchet man at the he was so important. Told me, "I am special"....ugh. Shallow and only interested in outward appearances. Sneaky and deceptive yet thought that he was above any rules and laws; no respect for them, or me. Thank God for those who are helping to reveal the truth, and for good Godly counseling.

[jeffconnors]

As a FA, I think I am the opposite of a narcissist.

1)NARCS will love bomb and then devalue the other person. I will think the relationship is going amazing and then the fear will tell me I'm going to screw everything up.

2) narcs will gaslight.
I will tell myself I am crazy and they'll never think I'm good enough or worthy.

3) NARCS will sabotage to hurt relationships, as a FA I will self sabotage and hurt myself in the relationship .

4) narcs will make the other person the bad guy for their feelings. I will make myself the bad guy for my feelings. Feelings minus fears.

5) narcs will constantly lie to the other person. i will lie to myself. Especially if in limerence.

6) narcs will never Be the fault...I am always the fault.

7) narcs have lack of interest in the other person. I will have a lack of interest in myself.

8) narcs huge sense of entitlement. As a fa, a huge sense of unworthy.