Dating Problems: 8 Signs You Have A FEARFUL Avoidant Style

If you find yourself longing for closeness but pulling away when things get too intimate, you might think you're avoidant, but you could actually be a fearful avoidant rather than a dismissive avoidant.

So, why is it important to learn this? Well, understanding these signs can help you make sense of your emotional responses and pave the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

We'll explore how the fearful avoidant attachment style can lead to intense fear of rejection, anxiety in close relationships, and a constant push-pull dynamic that leaves you feeling conflicted.
We hope this video helps you identify if you're navigating love and relationships with a fearful avoidant attachment style. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards healing and finding balance in your connections.

#attachment #love #relationship

Writer: Sara Del Villar
Script Editor & Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Gabriel Miles
Animator: Sarimopi (IG: sarimopi)
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

REFERENCE

[benmunn]

1:37 1. Childhood was shaped by abuse
2:45 2. Distrust in themselves and others
3:19 3. Feeling like you don't deserve to be loved
3:53 4. Intimate relationships are confusing
4:27 5. Insensitivity towards others
5:21 6. Tendency to keep conversations at a surface level
5:57 7. Negative perspectives and overly reserved
6:51 8. Difficulty taking responsibility for their actions

[ghettogreenbeann]

Yeah I'm scared of dating... even guys I'm attracted to. If they show interest I feel that sharp anxiety pain in my chest. I get scared and confused and I'll end up thinking im going to get played. ☹️I'm more comfortable in trusting friendships that are platonic and family.

[rayeditsvsp]

The speed of me clicking to this video is crazy

[martine]

It doesn't have to be as traumatic and neglectful as this makes it sound. It can stem from say if you had a mother who was hot and cold and didn't give you the emotional support you need or an abusive relationship when you're you're older. Fearful Avoidants usually have a growth mentality which leads them to ask the deeper questions in an attempt to understand others and to be seen and heard themselves. This may be used to deflect questions away from themselves but it's definitely not for superficial reasons❤️

[themorrigan]

Yeah, I want to have a loving relationship badly, but I fear rejection and betrayal so much, I can't even say hi to a person im attracted to. It's easier when someone is attracted to me, and I'm not particularly attracted to them, but conversations are still very surface level

[HailAnts]

By seventh grade I was so completely lost and fearful on the inside that I became completely dismissive on the outside. I protected myself by pretending that I had a suit of armor and couldn't care less what anyone thought.

Problem was, I cared _deeply_ about what anyone thought. I defined myself by what others thought. It took every bit of my mental and emotional energy to maintain an appearance of not caring.

So it didn't work. I was an extremely good student, but the strain of keeping up an appearance of not caring eventually seeped into my schoolwork. I wound up dropping out in 11th grade and not finishing high school.

Things haven't really changed. Few friends, no girlfriends, no goals, no self esteem. 😕

[kujo]

I think I'm more of the "Deathly Afraid" style

[capraspastica]

I understand a little more about myself now

[angelap]

I agreed with some of these but not all… Although I feel fearful avoidant, I am overly sensitive and caring of others feelings and I also always take accountability for my actions. Even though I feared rejection I always try and always make the effort and put myself out there. It is a constant struggle in intimate relationships, trying to stay connected while battling the fears inside and the negative talk from the ego mind. I struggle and eventually they leave me. I try so hard but friends and partners only put in half the effort I do and when I speak up about it and my boundaries eventually they leave. I have resigned to the fact I need to work through my issues and just be alone. Also I wasn’t abused as a small child. I know people are nuanced and it would be impossible to have a check list that applied to everyone.

[lizzZoO]

thankyou so much, ive wondered why i always reject love even tho i crave for it

[cortniegore]

watching this made me feel really good because this is exactly who I was and how I acted in relationships in 2020 and I am at a point where I can not only admit it that but feel separated from who I used to be. I’ve been working on growing and healing ever since I realized my behavior was hurting myself and others. My shame was hand sculpted like the Great Wall of China, but now that I’ve got the ball rolling I’m tearing it down about as fast as I put it up. If you are someone watching this video and seeing yourself, please hear me that you can grow and change and get to a place where you can trust. The first step is accountability.

[Nola]

Avoidants need therapy not a relationship, I dealt with one before and I never will again, lesson learned!

[Barychill]

I know that you’re probably not gonna see this comment but you help me learn what my personality is I kind of felt lost ngl

[brainybunny]

The reason why Fearful avoidant style is not recognized or talked about is that its one of the rearest attachment styles. Also some of the signs are similar to a dismissive avoidant style too so its harder for experts to recognize it. As a frearful avoidant myself, it is very hard to navigate romantic life even though i am in a healthy relationship.

[kylemclaughlin]

This video hit hard. I feel like I'm a mix breed of avoidant. I'm not solely one or the other, but a bit of both.

[volcanisty]

I was so sure I was fearful avoidant but now I’m totally lost…back to square one

[assiabns]

Today Ithought about this all day and I was having such an anxiety thinking that some guy may like me and I was doing everything to avoid that...and here's the right video in the right time

[Aan]

Timestamps
1). Childhood was shaped by abuse 1:38
2). Distrust in themselves and others 2:44
3). Feeling like you don't deserve to be loved 3:18
4). Intimate relationships are confusing 3:52
5). Insensitivity towards others 4:26
6). Tendency to keep conversation at a surface level 5:21
7). Negative perspectives and overly reserved 5:55
8). Difficulty taking responsibility for their actions 6:51

Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

[Mk]

Can't choose... I'll take both

[Subhankar_]

I fear parting so I don't welcome people😊