Grief Counselling: 3 Techniques Therapists Can Use

Though we shouldn’t pathologize grief, it’s good for counsellors and therapists to help our clients stop it continually burdening their lives.

In this video I'll share 3 techniques for good grief counselling that we can use to help our clients stop grief from becoming an on-going burden in their lives.

For references, see the original article here:

When grief and loss come into your life it can feel overwhelming. If you need extra help with this, please see my self-help downloads on grief and loss here:

If you found this video helpful then please leave comment and hit the 'like' button - and don't forget to subscribe for future videos.

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++About Mark Tyrrell++

Psychology is my passion. I've been a psychotherapist trainer since 1998, specializing in brief, solution focused approaches. I now teach practitioners all over the world via our online courses. More about me here:

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[donaldfridjhon]

Thank you. I found your insights and suggestions both practical and sensitive.
Thanks too, for the reminder of the power and value of metaphor. Most useful in grief conversations/support!

[ashleypg]

Wow, I'm realizing now how my therapist used all of these techniques to help me grieve my dad.

[cathychase]

I just lost my mom. And live far from my family or origin and my kids are grown/gone and far. I am also divorced. My mom was my rock. She loved me so unconditionally. I know it's been only 3 weeks, but my grief comes in waves. I totally thank you for this video. I like the idea of organizing grief. I did see my mom die, but it didn't traumatize me because she knew I was there and I held her hand. I am paralyzed though in the present and need to remember she wants me happy. My other losses are to my boys moving w/in the last 6 months so that's also tough. Thank you.

[susysamalex]

I used the balloon in a box metaphor, at first death is like a large ballon in a small box, every time the box moves the ballon touches the sides, similarly people experiencing grief will experience thoughts, memories, etc every which way they turn. But as time goes on and the ballon spontaneously deflates, gets smaller and maybe sinks to the bottom. The touches on the sides become less frequent, the thoughts, memories etc start to wane and as long as a more resourceful focus is obtained, acceptance can be allowed to become acceptable.

Alternatively, when wearing blinkers, all you can see is what’s in front of you. Your energy flows where your focus goes. If you don’t like what you see, don’t keep looking at it, it won’t go away, look away! Turning 180 degrees away from the grief, towards a different perspective or focus of attention, allows to brain rest, to see other possibilities, more resourceful ones.

[alexandracalifornia]

My fiancé just passed 8 years together we spent basically all day every day together...I feel all this you are talking about...finding him dead...I’m suffering the trauma because it had been hours and it was just horrible, I feel guilt for not checking on him and trying to wake him up. I beat myself up for not doing things differently. And then after all that I just miss him and don’t know how to go I found the video useful I’m trying to find help

[barbsdee]

This is so helpful for me. I’m not a counsellor but trying to cope with life without my husband who died of cancer at the age of 62. A very fit and active man and I can’t get passed the video in my head of the last hours of him struggling to breathe and fighting until his last breath.

[colorfullyme]

I plan on becoming a grief counselor and will start formally studying psychology next semester. When my Dad died, there was nothing but silence. I had no guidance in dealing with my trauma and grief. Speaking to someone like you would have been like changing, and that is why I hope to provide for others what I so desperately needed and did not get. Thank you for this video! I feel reinvigorated and confident in my plan!

[SmileToday-CryTomorrow]

I say its not how they left, what they left for us in our hearts.

[tyjay]

I lost the most important person in my life in a car accident i was saved with a brocken Hip but my Life(my eyes / my Hands ) and everything i had went away i cry almost every time knowing that she, s Gone for ever i have absolut NO control of my life after seing your video a SMALL Light came to my life But I Still suffer from extrem Grief i´m from Sri lanka amcd my Life from Germany 77/ 82 years old i have no more Tears at the moment living for the sake of Living THHAX SO Much for the tiny Light you gave me God Bless you Tyrone

[Dreamsareareality]

As a therapist this is very helpful for my clients. Thank you. - Tammi

[gn]

Thank you, I will try these techniques. My mum died suddenly and unexpectedly this year at age 60, my dad died 10 weeks later aged 60. We had to wait 6 months for the toxicology reports for my mum, and now the insurance company are still dragging it out. I feel I haven't had time to heal. I thought I had turned a corner and then 6 months later all the pain came back but stronger.

[juvylinevelasco]

Thank you so much. I just lost my mom due of Leukemia and his last image when she was in the casket is being saved to my memory but I want to imagine her genuine looks when she was happily alive. That is what I want.

[elizabeth]

Thank you just lost my childhood sweet heart that was my boyfriend for 16 years and could not stop crying all the time xxx

[lyndanixon]

This is great for me..lost my son 6 weeks ago to a massive heart attack ...listening to this brilliant man is so comforting

[chrise]

Thank you. As an RN in the hospice field with a graduate degree in Pastoral Counseling, I find your videos and techniques very practical. I always believed my education enriched me with a ton of theory, but if it can't be applied practically, it's of very little use.

[sarahhajarbalqis]

1. Let them talk about the deceased.
2. Distinguish grief from trauma.
3. Deal with guilt and help them organise the grief.

[Allen.Mir]

Have been grieving at times of a very special person my girl-friend a dear friend of mine we both loved adventures.. About 4 years ago she died of a heart attack.. I feel I fumbled the ball not taking CPR seriously enough to Applied properly…. Yes it hurts.. So Please people learn CPR & take it seriously so that you can apply it properly

[janstolk]

My wife of 37 years died in my arms and i cant get it out off my mind, its torture, taking my own life is not an option since I have children and grand children .
So now I'm stuck, I have to go on although I don't want to be alive anymore !

[robiny.]

My cousin lost his amazing wife to cancer and she was the life of the party, very outgoing and a strong woman. He was always the more introverted one. He doesn’t want to go back to the house where she died shortly after being on hospice. He’s been staying with his daughter and family. I worry for him and we’ve been chatting for a bit. I’m going to be speaking with him this weekend and thought I needed to research some things to say. I’m so glad I landed on your page. I’m going to advise him to find a good grief counselor or a PhD that might need to prescribe temporary meds. Thank you again for doing this YouTube video.

[middleearth]

Thank you so much for explaining grief and trauma. My husband died in our bed and I have been sleeping in the spare bedroom for years. I have tried to go back to our room, but it has not worked. Now I realise that it is trauma. I now know that it was a giant full stop and his story is what I should focus on.