The Physical Symptoms of Grief

“Grief is unpredictable, and it will go wherever it finds an outlet. If it can’t be expressed emotionally, it may find expression in the body.” (136)

Grief, like all emotions, isn’t just in your head; it shows up in your body in remarkable ways. But most people have never been taught what is common in the grieving process and how grief does show up in your body, and this can leave some people feeling stuck, spiraling through endless grief and pain. Grief has many physical symptoms.

When you learn the physical symptoms of grief, you can be more equipped to address it and work through the process of grief and loss. In this video we’ll learn from grief expert Dr. Dorothy Holinger the author of The Anatomy of Grief, how grief shows up in the body and what we can do to work through it.

Grief does not have a concrete number of stages of grief. But, when you learn about the physical symptoms you can gain more awareness of your body and be more accepting of those symptoms of grief and loss.

I’m not going to pretend that grief is some easy thing that can or should be fixed, but there are some things you can do that can help your heart and body work through the suffering.

00:00 Introduction
01:03 All courses 40% off
02:02 How grief impacts the brain
02:46 How grief affects the heart
03:56 Grief tears
04:48 Decreased pleasure after a loss
05:01 Loss of appetite after a loss and difficulty sleeping
05:25 Weakened immune system while grieving
05:40 Headaches and body aches during grieving
05:56 Other somatic changes with grief
07:05 When you're not allowed to mourn
07:44 How to deal with grief

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.

Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

[STEVEN-vzqq]

We lost our only child on August 27 this year. He was only 14 yrs old. I do not want to get out of bed most of the time, much less live anymore. Thank you for you channel. You seem like you are a wonderful loving person who really tries to help people. God bless you.

[AMM.]

Grief isn't just for death... Huge life changes can leave you grieving for the future you lost.

[traceybrook]

I lost my husband of 25 years
My heart goes out to anyone going through grief
It is the worst!!!

[ruthnolan]

When your world has been gutted, it's hard if not impossible to "get out and be around people." Physically, emotionally, gutted and reeling, many of us experiencing losses of loved ones can barely cope, let alone try to line up social plans with people who don't want us around anyway because we're a downer. And that's about what I'm going through. People don't realize how crucial it is to reach out to people who are grieving.

[adoxartist]

When I was about 14 years old my grandmother told me that, several months after her mother died (which happened several years earlier) one of her arms swelled up dramatically. She went to her doctor who asked about recent life events. Grandma told him her mother had died. He asked if grandma had cried yet. She said no. He told her to go home and have a good long cry. Once she did her swelling went away and never returned. I was flabbergasted! My very literal 14 year old self asked, "So that was your TEARS in your arm??" And she said something like, 'It seems so.' I kinda tucked that away in my head for a long time but I am so grateful she told me. I would not have been able to accept that our memories, thoughts, and emotions have a direct impact on our physical health without that background knowledge. Everything I was taught up until that point was that our bodies are completely separate (and should be viewed as shameful) from our 'spiritual' selves, which is the only important part. My parents would have been livid if they knew she'd opened my mind in that way. Thank goodness for grandmas who don't follow the rules!

[songwolf]

Things I’ve done to help heal from grief: besides crying…a lot
-hug a plush toy
-talk to higher self/God
-write/ journal feelings
-imagine seeing them in my next life
-love yourself❤
Hope this helps!

[haliec]

2018 my mother died. I felt hollow and numb for about 3 years. My advice throughout the numbness is to literally exist. You don’t need a plan, make it through 1 day at a time. Exercise, sleep and socialising are all of the most difficult things to do. Nobody has the answer, just listen to your body, if you need rest, rest. If you need a walk, go. If you need to stay under the covers for a week, do it. Eventually the cloud lifts slowly. Eventually you will do 1 extra thing today that you couldn’t do yesterday. During grief the world slows down and I believe we need to listen and embrace the slow pace and to be kind to ourselves.

[abbykoop]

I have lost over 70 pets over my lifetime so far. That's a LOT of grief! Sometimes I didn't get to cope at all with one, before I lost another. Most people don't think that losing a pet is that big of a deal. But I've had closer relationships with my pets than I've ever had with people. At this stage of my life it's hard to feel anything any more. The worst thing to hear from people for me is... Don't cry. What I'd love is for just one person to be there with me and allow my grief in their presence. Unfortunately people are so uncomfortable with it, we are forced to endure alone.

[deliabotha]

My husband of 34 years was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2018 and passed on 2020. In this period I developed high bloodpressure, had to rely on medication for anxiety and depression and also was diagnosed with cancer.
This was the most difficult period in my life ever and also a very period. Lost friends.
Slowly learning to live without him.
But it is still difficult.
Many people do not understand grief

[leeauslander]

For all of you that has lost a child, i feel your pain. We are a tribe united by grief, no one gets it but us 😢

[maureenbauer]

In October of 2018, I lost my eldest daughter to diabetic complications. She was on dialysis during her last year of life. Got an infection that she couldn't overcome, resulting in the amputation of her arm. She died a week later.
4 months later, my home totally burned to the ground. My husband and two dogs did not make it out. I escaped by jumping out of the bedroom window, no shoes on my feet, no dentures in my mouth, just the clothes on my back. The house was a total loss which even took my car. Nothing was salvageable. All photos, momentos, everything gone.
I've never been the same since. I exist and pray that God reunites me with those who I've lost, soon.

[cathywestholt]

I discovered after the death of my sister that adult sibling loss is not given much if any support. That relationship is not validated and deemed as important as other relationships in grief. There are grief support groups for so many types of relationships except adult sibling loss. It will be three years in January, and I grieve for Nancy every day 💔

[supergrover]

Grief Symptoms

1. How grief shows up in the brain 2:00
2. How grief affects the heart organ 2:42
(intense happiness can also enlarge the heart 3:40)
3. How do tears play into the grief? Are they healing 3:56
4. Decreased pleasure 4:47
5. Loss of appetite and difficulty eating 4:58
6. Difficulty sleeping and insomnia 5:17
7. Temporarily weaken the immune system 5:22
8. Headaches and other body aches are also common after a loss 5:38

What to do about these changes? 7:40
1. Exercise
2. Make sleep a priority
3. Good nutrition
4. Social connections
5. Pleasurable activities

Hope this helps everyone

[carolynnorton]

Social contact is the hardest part of getting over grief because other people don't want to be around someone in grief. They avoid you.

[divyabooshanam]

I lost mom a year ago and she was my only caretaker on this earth whom I can always rely on. I’m watching this at 1:00 am coz I can’t sleep. I can’t feel tastes or eat or do any pleasurable activities as you said. I have been praying n asking God to take me through this or take me too so I can be with mummy. God bless you for giving the solutions for this state I’m in.

[juliefraser]

I lost my husband almost 5 months ago. When he was dying, I realized that he no longer had a future in that body. My spiritual beliefs are another story. I started to grieve then. I scream cried in the car. I felt that the breath.was being sucked out of my body. I started to believe that I had to manage my grief. There was sometimes too much. I have embraced it at times and distracted myself at other times. It isn't done with me but it is getting better. Writing this also helps. Grief is a part of life. I wish to understand.

[janiceward]

My younger brother passed away just over a year ago I cant accept it I havent spoken to anyone since the funeral I eat only toast I either sleep for long periods or short I dont want to listen to music which has always been my passion I just ache inside and out nothing is of interest anymore.!! Thankyou for your video..!

[Neurospicyalchemist]

I don’t have anyone to be around and that is the hardest part. The isolation is paralyzing.

[dena]

I lost my first born & only daughter 3 years & 10 months ago. She was 35. I have to force myself to move forward each day. It’s awful! Sending love to all. 🌸💗🌸

[karenstiltner]

I was diagnosed with broken heart syndrome when my dog died. He was my angel and saved my life.