5 Minute Therapy Tips - Episode 02: Grief

Grief is a tricky emotion. Often when someone is feeling an uncomfortable emotion, they can often think of opposite emotions as being the solution to their discomfort. For example, someone sad may think "I can be happy". There's a clear target. If you're angry, you can think about being calm. But when someone is grieving, the target isn't clear. We can think about grief as being an arrow with no target. There's an energy there that needs to be dispersed, but it's not clear where that energy should go.

We are excited to share with you our new Youtube series which will explore topics such as Client Problems, Professional Issues, Clinical Concerns, and Methodology with new episodes every Friday!

with Jeff Zeig, PhD

Presented by:
The Milton H. Erickson Foundation

Sponsored by:
Evolution of Psychotherapy 2017
December 13-17, 2017

Images:
Andreas Steiner

Music:

[sharinshafi]

R R R - for general and specific factors in grief counseling!

Regrets - Why did not I say "I Love you" enough?
Resentments - I resent you did not show up for my graduation!
Appreciation - Appreciate the time we spent to grow together

What an awesome tip. Thanks.

[michaellove]

As a MSW Student Intern, this series is like finding " The Mental Health City of Gold"..smile. It has provided a great source of information and insight.

[MinutePsychology]

I’m watching this vid in October 2020, observing how the death toll grows and thinking that more and more of us will need to deal with the loss of a loved person.

[roxannaericksonklein]

Thank you, this handy technique is a gift to add to the repertoire that each of us, as professionals, can consider in our work to reach out to others. YOur way of reaching out is much appreciated and will enhance many lives.

[ericyelsa]

Thanks for such an excellent series Jeff. Really enjoying it.

[deangregory]

This was truly helpful and I really appreciate the tips. Thank you so much.

[HausofEbon]

Just lost my grandmother, glad I found this video

[victoriahamilton]

I loved this video so much. know that it will be a fantastic resource in my sessions with clients and in my own life. Rituals are so important. Thank you so much again.

[ashleymaclin]

Thank you for sharing this! Adding to my toolbox for clients! <3

[AuthorCAL]

As a lay person who just lost her husband, this is extremely helpful. Thank you so much!

[joandevelder]

Thank you Jeff. I find that at this stage of life...mid 60s, there have been many losses and they keep coming...I think I do loss well, as do most of the people in my family...and I would have to say, this period of life is giving me a challenge in the managing of grief around a long list of losses...Ummm...makes for being a good therapist...but I am not sure I like the scars on my soul so much...perhaps I will have to work on rituals for this later life experience...

[rossanapettersen]

Wonderful video. Thank you, Jeff. Greetings and a subscriber from Sweden

[janicechick]

I lost ml y mother September 25th just over a mo ago and my sister 2 yrs ago I'm feeling lost and alone, in a dark place😥

[alllovelain]

I'm not watching this because I'm trying to get into psychology, I'm watching this as someone that's been grieving inappropriately for years. when he talked about regrets I almost immediately bursted into tears and a "FFFFWhhoaaaa..." came out as I fought it back because it made me instantly think of something I wanted to ridicule them for: not fulfilling their promise of traveling the world with me. not staying with me to get fit like we planned. not saying good bye or good luck. one day they were here, being one of my favorite people in life (of which I don't have many), next thing I know I'm about to leave for work and I get the call. they're just kind of gone now. all plans off, all promises broken.

I might focus on these things next time I go cry in my car.

[adrienne]

How can the 3 R's be Resentment Regrets & Appreciation?. Very useful though...x

[arijitasen]

3Rs - Regrets, Resentment, Rituals (Appreciation). Is Ritual the 3rd R?

[MzBleu]

This was great information. I am looking into specializing in grief/loss, and if anyone has any helpful trainings/resources, please let me know! Thank you!

[janeburke]

Thankyou, I’m not a professional, just someone who lost her mam 10wks ago.We always lived together & Im consumed with grief although I have always suffered anxiety/panic previous to mam dying .I did a ritual I cut a lock of my hair & placed it under an ornament on my mam grave.I don’t think it worked but I’m glad I did it.The thing is I’ve never been well physically since Mam passes & the anxiety is getting worse, , I just miss her so terribly, the pain is something I could never imagine.I am English & we don’t get therapists unless we are a danger to ourselves so I’m turning to YouTube to talk about my feelings but I think from what I’ve seen there’s nothing to help really.

[embrenchiasnyman]

What is the opposite emotion for "dead"

[stephcampbell]

You mentioned the lady having a delayed grief reaction years after the loss. Why might that happen?