The Weird Things Avoidants Do If They Like You

Avoidants do some weird things when they like you.

I know this because for years, I was a dismissive avoidant, so I’m in a unique position to speak on this.

Buckle up, things are about to get weird!

After i got ghosted recently, ive been on a mission to understand it. After 50 or so videos i now understand avoidants aren't weird, they're disabled.

[Vedangi_]

I dated an avoidant for five months and in the 4th month I have completely switched from a secure person to anxious, it was horrible and it broke my heart.

[maxitaxiish]

The most confusing, frustrating, and painful relationship you’ll ever experience is with an avoidant attachment style.

[draculinalover]

Victims of narcissism also can become avoidant people. Remember that you guys.

[MelanieAcosta-ph]

Love bombing (gifts), closeness, admiration, positive gaslighting (“we can do that anytime you want!” -while no planning w/minimal attempts for intimate time), bread crumbing intimacy, keeping arms length, expressing fear of issues they’ve created, gaslighting you into you thinking their your issues, to the stonewalling when you create conflict trying to expose the problems, then inevitable break up. Exhausting, confusing, unfortunate.

[arlecelarae]

Avoidants are like this because of childhood trauma. I understand it’s painful but to push a narrative that they are some cyborg villains is unfair and unproductive.

This man is explaining things so people have a chance at empathy.

I wish the best for anyone reading this. No matter what side you’re on! I love you and healing is possible 🫶✌️

[ahmedsafwat]

My ex wife was an avoidant horrible experience please don’t try to play hero you can’t fix them run the opposite way or you’ll lose your sanity

[malibooo]

Literally told a dismissive guy last week “am I an ffing yo-yo to you? Goodbye.” They’ll make even secure people go into anxious preoccupied mode. They’re damaged goods.

[MetaPhysStore]

I spotted one recently andthe minute he tried the"pull away" tactic, i said, "im not interested in your "low input" vibe, good luck"

[RitaP]

1. Preemptive Breakup Planning 🤯
(Casual, Nothing Serious, Emotional Distance, Hint at Future Disconnection: "I'm not good at Relationships", Test & Sabotage, Past Failures)
2. Microgifting
(minimize to protect from rejection)
3. Love Language
(May be Quality Time and Touch)
4. Intellectual Sparring
5. Emotional Distance 🤯
(to test, protect, and connect)

[chiaraA.]

Dating a dismissive avoidant is a crash course masterclass on red flags and for the length of the relationship (which I advise only in months not years) with all the weirdness and confusing and derailing things you will experience, you can come away learning how to date properly and avoid people who are not able to love, or be close or enjoy connection

[umas]

They don't apologise for their mistakes. That is a deal breaker for me

[asbjelasulejmani]

I cried at how accurate and true this is and I how I can finally realize the one who hurt me was an avoidant

[Kavilion]

These people are like children. They see a new toy, demand to have it, throw their old toy away and then cry because they lost the old toy and the new one isn’t as fun as it looked. Spoiled babies. Stay away. Find an actual adult to date.

[joro]

I wasted four years of my life trying to build something solid with an avoidant woman. Absolutely nothing came out of the situation except for that I learned some real hard lessons. As long as I live, I will never let any other avoidant type enter my life again. These people live in the darkness and they can dim the light of a healthy person easily. Not worth it.

[bibmitchell]

You can "understand them and stick around, " and the avoidant will keep pressing that knife into your back.

[sonyacurti]

Great video! "Building an exit door before the foundation has ever been built" definitely spot!!!!

[L-qj]

Spare yourself the confusion, it’s their problem not yours they should fix themselves. Don’t spend your life trying to translate them they will keep hurting you and you will keep being confused and starting to blaming yourself. You deserve the love you say and show and give back you deserve someone that can love you without you being confused

[zaytin]

I gave an avoidant person a gift, and that person gave the gift away to some stranger right in front of me after about an hour of awkwardly holding it. You are the first person to talk about this kind of behavior

[MsAleytys]

this explains. so. much. the giant gap between (cold) words and (warm) actions.