What to say to someone who is chronically late

If someone is never ever on time, you need to administer some tough love. That means, leaving without them, telling them you are not going to invite them anymore...something that will actually sink in. Because after a while, it gets to be a pattern, and people get used to that behavior, and it is almost accepted.

[CintiaVsTia]

Yes I can no longer invite this person. She's been late and missed my wedding events, parties.. I'm done.

[MannersByMarie]

Great point, The2005rwb. You're right. If they don't value your time, what else about you do they not care about?

[Therwb]

Good advice. I don't feel like it's my duty to "change" anyone (if they are adults then they are completely responsible for their actions), but there is no reason why my friends, family, and I should have to suffer from someone who disrespects our time. My guess is that if someone is so uncaring as to be chronically late they are probably not the people I want to be around anyways.

[johndash]

You nailed it. I know "THAT" person and for me the solution was to move on without her. They use being late as a control mechanism and I finally figured it out. Life is so much easier now.

[marisaful]

It's a good way to treat them, they need to learn a lesson, they deserve it,
It's the consequence

[amazinggrace]

You don't deal with them, that's what you do. Leave them behind is another secondary thing you could do...

[grahamharper]

Late people = People who don't give a crap, never did, never will.

[cestmagnifique]

I swear I'm coming an hour late next time bcs this is the ONLY way we'll ever come at the same time.. I'm just so over this.. when they pick up a time at the WhatsApp group, I laugh, bcs it's a total joke.. 45m~1hr late every time??? from now on, if I'm waiting for 15mins, I'll go right back home or on to something else.. I'm done, ppl have no respect

[karlastein]

I see this as a sign of disrespect, I have stopped doing anything with her. Yes my time is as valuable as hers.

[yasminaelfata]

The leaving without them is really an amazing strategy. I second that! You name the time, then if they are there good, if not, see you later!

[canadianbird]

Yeah, I tend to not like those people. Same with business. You can't negotiate when you're late! Don't comeback!
It's not selfishness, it's keeping manners....rather be with hassle free people you know?

[theatrum]

Thank you. I've been having arguments for years about this with my closest friend. I tried everything to the point where I wouldn't even ask of her to be there when we originally arranged to meet up, but to tell me when she is 10 minutes away from the spot or to tell me when she parks her car. This is always at least one hour after our original arrangement and STILL I wait for her at least half an hour on top of that every single time. The reason I tried to be so understanding about it is because she apparently suffers from OCD and this is getting in the way of her getting to places on time.
But a few days ago it happened again for god knows what time and I've had enough. When I sent her a mssg asking where she is, informing her that she is half an hour late already and that I can't understand why she can't AT LEAST let me know that she'll be late, she replied by telling me that if I plan to fight about this she won't be coming at all. I told her not to come, I got up and I left. Later she apologized but I've decided not to deal with it anymore. Told her I'll still be there if something happens in her life where she needs my help or support, but that I can't keep disrespecting myself by meeting up with her anymore. At first I felt so alone. This was my closest friend to whom I've said everything about my life for the past 5 years. But now I feel how much of a toll trying to arrange to meet up with her has taken on me for years. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted up from my shoulders. I would rather be alone than with people who don't respect me.

[ReubenMoore]

Oh for Christ's sake, people are late for one reason: Deep down, they believe that their time is more valuable than your time. Period. This is why your doctor is always late. But it is also why your friend is always late.

[tjj]

It’s hard when you are at work and it’s your relief person!!!! You can’t leave work until they come in

[SR]

It's selfish. Better to cut them off. My ex use to always be late then when I was skate he was impatient. That's how you know it's selfish. Now in other cases it may not be but in his it was. He would say his time was valuable but show up unapologetically late. When I was he got mad. Selfish!!!! Not worth it. Leave em be.

[Siobhan]

I agree with setting a boundary with these people but frankly the tone of this vid is way too apologetic. We don't need to be apologizing for keeping people accountable...enough said!

[aurelianthor]

Brakes his ankles ! So he will have legit reason why can't come on time!

[MP-Media]

🤪The worst ones... When you call to say, "Where are you", they reply, "I'll be there in 5 mins"... So they make you wait and then they might turn up 30 mins later or more.

I know, I should leave straight away when they say 5 mins, but it's difficult, as you are tempted to believe that someone wouldn't be so disrespectful to lie about how close they are. But these days, if someone does this more than once, I tell them why and leave them off the invite. 🤷

[careerconstellation]

My sister-in-law has been late for every family gatherings for the last 20 years. My husband refuses to tell her that she should be on time. I find myself not wanting to invite her to things. Even down to 1 or 2 events a year, she will still be at least an hour late. This last time for my daughter’s graduation, I personally text her to let her know that the party is between 5 to 9 pm. She came at 6:30 pm. It’s less annoying, because I try to invite others when she comes. At least, I have a party I didn’t wait around for her to show up to start eating. She then stay 1.5 hour longer. At 10:30, I changed into my pajamas. Her husband got the hints that it was time to go. I used to fight with my husband about enabling her. He won’t say anything to her. I intuitively want to minimize my interactions because it just causes so much frustration. It makes me look like the petty person when she is the one that is inconsiderate. I would like tips on how to deal with my husband’s enabling behaviors. Needless to say, it transfer to then children. I am left being the tough parent.

[Lastchance]

You will never, ever be effing invited again!
That is my favorite way of telling somebody