What *should* you say when someone dies?

How do you really help a person after someone they love dies? We often talk about what not to say to a grieving person, but what are the right things to say?

Watch this tv segment from KATU AM NW to find out why so many expressions of intended comfort feel so bad to grieving people, what you should really say instead of "they wouldn't want you to be sad" or "it won't always be this hard" or “everything happens for a reason,” and – bonus! – you’ll learn the one key thing to remember that will improve your support and care of others.

#MeganDevine #RefugeInGrief #ItsOkThatYoureNotOk #NormalizeGrief

[maryellenstankovich]

Until a person has to go through it, no words will comfort the griever.

[wesanderson]

I recently had a one of my good friends loose their dad to cancer and now more than ever im really appreciating all the advice about grieving people and what to do. Thank you for the advise!

[manuelaentropia]

Megan you helped me so much. And now your new book " How to carry what can't be fixed - a journal for grief" is so beauriful. Thanks.

[MTxi-kdws]

Thank you Megan… for addressing some of the thoughtless and harmful comments made by well meaning people who simply lack empathy or understanding. 🙏
For anyone who doesn’t know what to say, don’t feel like you need to. Allowing the person who is grieving to share thoughts of their loved one is helpful.
It’s 2 months since my partner of 18 years passed away (I have difficulty with saying died) She has been the centre of my life. I’m heartbroken for us both… for the years and future we should still have and share together. As two women from 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 and 🇦🇺 we overcame obstacles to be together.
Each day now… so many emotions 🖤💔😭 Least wanted is the advice of others on how to cope.
So I couldn’t believe what I was reading when a ‘friend’ of my partner’s sent these messages to me today. I would like to share 🤬
🤜‘STOP thinking of you losing your love but that you have had that love’
‘If you had never found each other you would never have loved’
‘Walk outside to one of your favourite places. Breathe and look up. You will feel better’
‘You know E(partner) would be very upset about the way you are just now!!’
‘Remember what you had and no one will ever take from you’
‘E(partner) loves you and would want you to enjoy your memories but she never did like self-pity. Maybe you need to spread your wings and soar’
‘I remember first meeting you for E’s(partner) birthday. I wasn’t a fan of yours as you were taking her away’
‘I UNDERSTAND YOUR LOSS’🤛

[desertrose]

Few weeks after my mum left this physical plane I felt suicidal a " friend, " said well if you were going to do it you would have. I'm I too sensitive or was that cruel?

[FemmiGirlz]

What is the best videos I’ve ever seen on grief! I will be sharing this on my social media

[HB-mdly]

So much helpful information to consider and to support people experiencung grief. I am really glad Megan said she adopts the language the person/client uses around death. See her point around the consideration that is needed with discussing this with children. However this is not a one size fits all - My and others vocabulary does not need correcting regarding my/our preference to use the words such asloss or passed away. These words are inline with my world view, religion and spirituality. I know my most dearest love one has died - they are never coming back. But while feeling like my skin has been removed from my flesh, I reserve the right to use the language that works for me and my beliefs without being patronised or challenged. I think it is important for others to respectfully consider this. If others use other language, I would respectfully adopt there preferences during conversation/communications.