10 things TO SAY to someone with BIPOLAR DISORDER!

-FROM THE VIDEO:

"There are many videos on YouTube that talk about what NOT to say if someone has Bipolar Disorder. I made one myself - and it's been a popular video, but there's something missing from it. Something very important. I didn't talk about things you CAN or should say. In fact, you'll probably have a hard time finding ANY videos online that talk about what TO say. It's a tough because if someone is severely symptomatic, there might not be anything you can say without triggering a negative response. It's like walking on verbal egg shells and I know how frustrating this can be – to say the least. If someone has Bipolar Disorder and you can't reason with them, it probably means that the person you care about is temporarily unavailable... That their symptoms have gotten stronger than their ability to cope with them.

Timing can be everything when it comes to successful communication. Knowing when to engage, and when to take a step back. The only way to know this is to talk about it. Have a plan in place for the bad times. Talk about what works and what doesn't because it's different for everyone.

All that being said, here are 10 approaches or suggestions you might try if the person you care about is struggling with Bipolar Disorder symptoms..."

-My channel is completely dedicated to helping individuals, families, and friends who struggle with, or know someone living with Bipolar Disorder. My goal is to provide actual tools, tips, and discuss topics that can potentially help “Polar Warriors” grow to live a more balanced, peaceful, and fulfilling life.

-Rob Whittaker, Polar Warriors: Bipolar Support

--------------------------------------------------------------------

HELPFUL LINKS & ADDITIONAL CONTENT:

[Keepitkind]

I was in a mixed state and was hiding in the corner of my closet. My husband came in and asked how I was. I said, "I feel small." My husband sat down next to me and asked, "Can I be small with you?"...I never felt so understood.

[nonamenojane]

Been diagnosed nearly 15 years here. Something I’ve learned and would like to add: sometimes, a person who is struggling with mood may not be able to make decisions when asked small questions like “what do you want to eat?” Or even “are you hungry?” Or “do you want to go for a walk?” Its helpful for me when my loved ones just take over those little decisions, saying things like “let’s go for a walk together” or simply putting food in front of me when they’re eating as well. Sometimes making small, simple choices like what to eat when I’m very unwell is just difficult, and it helps to have someone step in like that.

[julesservantofjesus]

What I'd like people to say to me: "No, I don't understand how you feel but I'm going to try to learn more about bipolar.".

[sirlatebloomer]

Hello Rob. I have bipolar disorder and I'm a psychologist myself. Your videos are amazing and I'm glad that you are doing such a great thing. I'm a regular viewer of your channel and I always share your videos to my family and friends. But none of them watches them or takes measures for me. They are very supportive but not they way you describe in this channel. I majored in guidance and counselling. But even with my knowledge in psychology, I can't do this alone. I'm 28 years old and single. Just recovered from a nasty episode in which I almost killed myself. Your videos helped me recover much faster. Thank you so much for your amazing efforts :)

[speezygirl]

Loved #10 the most. The idea that someone needs us, wants us in their life, even when we're symptomatic, goes a long way to counteract the false conviction the depression sells -- that everyone would be better off if we were gone.

[beatrixpoley]

1. Give them permission to not be okay
2. What happened or what’s going right
3. You have every right to feel the way you feel
4. Don’t say anything
5. Validate feelings
6. Empathy (I don’t know but I can relate)
7. Find what works for them
8. Offer reassurance
9. Let the person know you believe them
10. Let the person know how important they are in your life

[elainejohnson]

Thank you Rob. So often I just want someone to be in the room with me. They don't have to say or do anything, I just don't want to be alone. I'm so glad you brought this up.

[dukelorange]

I have it and my dad tries to derail the conversation and tells me something positive like how beautiful my kids are and what a beautiful soul I have and that he loves me no matter what and he is never going to leave me ever My mood calms down and I'm up lifted

[talkinnmedia]

Hello everyone, I'm here to educate myself. Someone very dear loved one is suffering and doesn't realize something is wrong. So 😭

[amandawilliams]

Watching these bipolar videos breaks my heart. I think my daughter (15) has it and I don't think I've been very helpful. I hate that I may have been making it very hard for her....so sad and angry at myself. I am watching any video and reading anything I can to learn about how to help her. Also, I read the comments so I can hear from people who have it and maybe learn from them too. Thank you so very much for all the information I'm getting so I can help my daughter.

[valeriereedmartin]

This was so helpful. It's like you were talking about my son and I and the issues I am having with him. I love him so much but feel like I'm at the end of my rope. There is nothing more I can do to help him and he won't help himself. This video has given me strength to not give up on him and not to take what he says and does so personally eventhough it really does hurt. I'm going to keep trying to approach him about seeking help. I also will have to stand firm to my boundaries for his sake. This illness has torn our family apart but I won't abandon him. I'm all he has left and I love him.

[stuart]

Thanks for posting this. I was one who asked a year ago what would be the best 10 things to say rather than not to say on your video.
Back then, I had so much time and patience for the love of my life with Bi-polar. Slowly but surely her actions have killed virtually all that love. She has used and abused. I tried. My friends all said walk away from day 1. I still haven't completely but I know it's too toxic and draining. Every man in this woman's life has turned and walked away. I was determined not to be one of them. I've all but failed.
All the best to you Rob.

[ice]

Thanks for these positive tips. I’m Bipolar II & retired so I’ve been through lots of up & down symptomatic episodes. I live alone but have lots of rescue animals I care for. Sometimes my special dog & cat friends can help me when I’m depressed. They sense my moods & are always there to snuggle when I get into a depressive sleep phase. If I hadn’t had the animals to take care of, I seriously doubt I’d be here today. So I think a purpose or mission can help.

[rayebowen]

My husband is great about saying the right thing to show that he cares. Instead of saying 'you should feel good about..' he says 'how does that make you feel?' Or 'how do you feel about that?'. The right words can make a huge difference. Thanks Rob. 🙂

[janelleberryman-nosik]

So grateful for these suggestions. They’re incredibly helpful. As someone with a loved one who has BP, I want you to know that the information you provide in these videos has made it possible for me to improve how I communicate with my loved one, to avoid taking so many things personally, and to have the courage to set boundaries, which has made all the difference in our relationship. Thank you, Rob, for your invaluable work. In all sincerity, you make a huge difference in the lives of those with BP and in the lives of people like me, their loved ones. 🙏🏼

[heatherblake]

Love that you take the time to make these videos! ❤️

[IoSapsai]

It's weird how I realized I have no idea how to deal with a depressed person even though I've been having it for ten years. I was pleasantly surprised that #4 was on the list. It does seem to work! Everybody is different, some need space, some need company, sometimes it's both at different times.

Stay strong!

[claudiatoddwebb]

Very cliche, but just talking to a loved one is always helpful.

Hope everyone is hanging in there. Xx

[rebeccacarro]

Thank you so much for this. I’ve had such a hard time talking to my daughter for years about her bipolar disorder. She refuses to take meds. This makes communicating with her close to impossible but I refuse to give up. Your vids are giving me some hope for a breakthrough.

[alexandranoboa]

"It's ok to feel like that. I'm here for you. I can't imagine how it feels."
Don't ask "what's wrong?" Ask "What happened?"
"You have every right to feel that way."
(Don't say anything) Just be quiet. Leave the room. Give them a hug. Give them a cup of coffee.
Don't compare suffering. Offer them company. Be there for them. Validate the way they feel.
Empathy: "I can relate to how you feel."
Figure out what works for them. ---> "What helps you the most? What works for you?"
Offer assurance----> "You aren't alone. This too shall pass."
Let them know you believe them. "I believe you." (this is validating)
Let them know how important they are to you. "I'm glad you have not given up. I need you in my life."