Introducing people to your narcissistic family

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[NarcSurvivor]

If you introduce people to your narcissistic family, they will turn those people against you. They will tell them there’s all of these things wrong with you. They will say you’re a horrible person and they tried so much to help you. They will ruin any friendships or relationships you have.

[princessak]

When having a convert narc mother it’s just a weird one, you can Introduce friends to them but they will put on the fake nice and your friends will love them. When the friends leave she becomes a monster again and you ask yourself only if they saw this side of her. Best thing don’t introduce any friends to them for your own sanity.

[CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

YOU DONT!

In my eyes it is an opportunity to get out and build a healthy life and healthy family.

[MWroses]

This just made me realize that this is why I did not date as often as others when I was younger. Subconsciously I knew it was increase drama in my life. Wow.

[MWroses]

Man, this is invaluable. Wish I had this advice years ago. People who are in new relationships...pay attention. Or even if you're just bringing a friend to meet the family.

[kmk]

Oh boy do I need to weigh in here. Don't, just don't. My narc grandmother intercepted my passport in the mail to keep me from seeing my love. I nearly drank myself to death after this. 12 years later we're getting back together. Disown your narc. Period.

[moose]

My parents would try to win the person over and attempt to humiliate or debase me. They aren’t able to keep it up for a long time and eventually show that it all comes from a place of vitriol and self-concern, but I would never introduce anyone into that dynamic anyways.

[suesilva]

Oh, I can see this all getting so terribly complicated; you prep the new partner, the ‘family’ being the two-faced, chameleons they are, are on their best behaviour. Your partner falls for it (who wouldn’t, they are masters of the dupe), and it backfires with you looking like the toxic one 😳 guaranteed.

[EveningTV]

My ex and my family hit it off immediately, and after 10 years they all turned on me. I've been estranged from my family since my divorce 20 years ago and they are all still on great terms. Ex was diagnosed ASPD/NPD in 2003. Parents are overt narcissists. I was the scapegoat of course but I did not understand anything going on until my ex had weaponized my family against me. It was an unimaginable experience of abuse and betrayal without any hope of healing. I've often said that if my parents and even my brother had died 20 years ago I would have been infinitely better off. That is unimaginable to most people.

[jcd]

This was exactly my situation. I was low contact with my family for years before I met my now husband. I waited a very looong time before I took him to meet them. I was the scapegoat and the truth teller in my family and I knew they were going to dislike him. I let him know before we went that I didn’t get along with them very well before hand. They were obnoxious to him. They didn’t even try to put on a good face like they usually do for strangers. They tried to drive him away. I won’t go into all the things they did and said here because it would turn into a thick novel. Let’s just say they were a barnyard explosion.

[truthmonster]

Don't do it. Keep them far far away from your family!

[MariannKnudsen]

Don't tell your toxic family you met some one!

[danlee]

I learned by the age of 11 never to let any new friends around my brother. Even as a middle-aged adult I make sure no one I care about to be around my family. I made that mistake a couple of times and really regretted it.

[betsyherman]

My partner avoids the narcissistic family members because he knew long before I did that they didn't like me. I was in denial for so long, being pulled away from the truth by my desire for a happy family.

[s.leeyork]

my opinion, based upon my experience, is DON'T. If you let the new person meet your family, the new person will stop thinking as highly of you --it will change, for the worse, the new person's perspective of you. Simply, do not do it.

[lucyskye]

My father turned two of my friends into his flying monkeys through the sheer power of his superficial charm 🙃

I lost them there. I could never vent in their presence again. Suddenly I was the problem there, because ofc I was. How could I not be?

[dianabailey]

The short answer is DON'T! It has never gone even a little okay. The less my parents know about my social or love life, the happier and more peaceful is my life!
Fantastic subject. Spot on!

[jimmyjams]

I had no idea and just realized things last year. I’m 47. All this has happened and I’m blessed my wife has stood by me. My only advice is learn and prepare your heart and mind. That is my current path. It’s not easy.

[-hg]

You must have been reading my mind. Only recently have I realized that not only my personal family, but extended family and sub culture is narcissitic.

I am committed to staying away from them. They are insufferable and incurable.

So I DONT introduce them. I wouldn't wish those a-holes on anyone. 😊💚

[reneemorgan]

The best thing would be not to introduce them at all....(hindsight is always 20/20) Dr. Ramani, everything you said is true. Through the 20 years of our marital relationship each and every scenario has played out. My family of origin happens to be covert and extremely passive aggressive and ENVIOUS. I happened to be the only daughter and scapegoat. I've employed all the methods you've mentioned and some. My partner now husband and I decided that nothing has worked towards consistency and having a healthy relationship with many of them. After learning about NPD and other toxic personality types, we realized that no contact with many of them is the only way for us to move forward and be happy. It's been almost 6 years out and life is ours again🌞 Bless you for bringing light to this essential topic💜 BTW, I was 54 when I went total no contact. It's not easy, but it can be done.