7 Red Flags When Dating a Divorced Man

7 Red Flags When Dating a Divorced Man
Let's jump into the seven red flags to look out for when dating a divorced man. Number one is if he's using the word separated, that means he's still married. Do not allow yourself to get emotionally involved through the man who's only separated. He needs to work out the logistical ending of his marriage before he jumps into anything really serious moving forward. I can't tell you how many women get sucked into a relationship many times is just a rebound with a separated man, only to find out that he's still married and actually working on his relationship or that he's going to remain married but still separated for many years to follow and he never plans on getting remarried. So anytime you hear the word separated, I want you to translate that into I'm not available for anything serious.

The second red flag is when a divorced man wants to immediately jump into a very serious relationship right away. Another pattern I noticed with divorced men is that because they were married previously, they are only comfortable with relationships that are very, very serious very quickly. Like they are not comfortable with the dating process of just getting to know each other a little bit and this is where I really want you to be pacing their relationship. Slow it down and make sure that you don't jump in too quickly.

Red flag number three is that he has a negative attitude towards love. My mother has always said that divorce is truly one of the most traumatic things you will ever go through in your life and it's not uncommon for someone to come out of a divorce with a negative attitude towards love and thinking, I don't wanna ever go through that ever again. So don't be surprised if he's in the headspace where he never wants to get married again and if he says that you need to take him for his word. Don't be surprised if he's just in a headspace where he's not able to trust you, he's not able to actually open his heart to you because he is still feeling the baggage from his past relationship.

The fourth red flag is that he has no custody of his children whatsoever. Now, if he has zero custody of his children, it doesn't guarantee that there's a major problem there, it's just a red flag because you're going to wanna explore what's really going on here. Typically, if he's a good guy or a good dad, there's at least shared custody in the relationship in the raising of his children and if he has little involvement in his children's life or certainly no involvement in his children's life, maybe there's something deep and dark about him that you don't know about quite yet. So you really wanna find out what actually went on there, so you can actually have a clear picture of this guy.

Red flag number five is that he's depressed or has low self-esteem. Like I said earlier, divorce is traumatic and it can absolutely destroy your self-esteem. It can make you feel like you are not worthy of a relationship, especially if there's infidelity in the relationship on the woman's side but just remember, it's not your job to fix this man. It's not your job to try and bring him to a healthy place in his love life. He needs to find that path on his own, and I want you to avoid wasting too much time trying to rehabilitate this guy when you could be keeping your options open to other people.

Red flag number six is that his ex-wife is still a huge part of his life. Now I get it, if he has children with his ex-wife, they need to make sure they have an active relationship and maybe even a cordial friendship but if you're finding that his ex-wife is a constant part of his life—texting her on a constant basis. He's always seeing her more than probably would be appropriate, then keep your eyes wide open. It is still possible that he might be trying to win her back.

Finally, red flag number seven is that you're just not feeling any type of emotional connection with this guy. Sometimes when a man goes through a divorce, he just becomes so emotionally broken that he's just not available to be able to connect with a woman. And if you're at a point in your life where you are ready for a good healthy long-term relationship, you need to only make yourself available to emotionally available men. Now, those are the biggest red flags I really want you to be looking for when you're dating a divorced man and if you don't see any of those red flags, then great, go for it. Just because a man was divorced doesn't mean he's disabled for relationships and, in fact, he actually may have learned a lot from that first marriage and he can bring those learnings to future marriage. He may be at a point in his life where he has more clarity than he's ever had in his entire life about what he wants in a relationship and in a woman.

[MelaniaRose]

I’d say if you’re a young woman and never married with no kids it’s best to avoid a divorced man. Most divorced men carry emotional baggage, are broke from child support and still dealing with the ex.

[michelleforsberg]

Great video! I would add that if the guy is still really mad at his ex-wife, watch out! He may take those feelings out on you.

[msdhonifanpage]

Single never married guy here but after listening all ..hope find a right women who loves me from heart

[amandahunter]

I think No 1 red flag is if he talks badly about his ex and runs her down to you saying that you are so much better than her blah blah. No matter what happened to end their marriage, and it could be something really awful, he should be talking about it in a balanced way that focuses on his experience and his recovery, rather than on his ex. If he is still talking about his ex and what she did / didn't do, what she is like now, how hurt and angry he is etc then he isn't ready for another relationship yet.

[rabiakhan]

you are 100 percent right. i have analyzed such situation and divorced or separated men are big liers, highly depressed, facing financial issues and are usually indecisive and dishonest. They speak 100 lies to hide one lie and then get caught. Thank you so much for summarizing the whole situation in the best possible way.

[flyandshy]

When a man says "I'm separated, I'm divorcing" - that means he's happily married. If possible know his full name, come to his place, never do anything sexual until you get a title and are introduced to his family. These men won't do it if they are married.

[ChristineSpringerElaine]

Every divorced man I've dated has been a complete emotional wreck. I actually dated a man who didn't have custody of his daughter and it definitely made me wonder about him. I ran a background check on him and found out all sorts of things about him and dropped him right away.

[Inspiredlife]

You are on point. I have dated a man that said he was separated with his wife for 2yrs. and going through a divorce. I always thought separated means still married and like you said possibly trying to work things out. He assured me that there no chance that he and his wife would get back together. I stopped seeing him and he kept pursuing me for 2yrs. I told him to call when they are divorced and we’ll take it from there. He called when he got divorced. So, I started seeing him. Like you stated one of the red flags is if he was texting or talking to his ex wife often. Well, he was. It felt uncomfortable and I spoke to him about it but he said it was about the kids. I still felt uncomfortable because it was everyday. Everything red flag you mentioned is true. Ladies, don’t settle...

[flowerlullaby]

As someone who hasn't been married I don't date divorced men. If I was divorced then I would.

[reneevanvuuren]

I dated a man that was divorced and he basically used me and called me a slut..
Plus! Disappearing for a year....i decided that it's not worth it..
Be careful girls...

[TheTropics]

I've learned the lesson the hard way. I don't date men separated or freshly divorced. He has to have a few years under his belt, must treat his ex wife respectfully and have an established involvement with his kids.

[monicag]

If you don’t have kids — find a man or woman with none — why would you want to deal with all the drama and being LAST?

[mariabali]

If you’re looking for marriage... he’s not ready for that, he’s a divorced man! 🙄

[adrianarivera-alvarez]

I would add another red flag, which is getting involved with a man that has a crazy ex that can't get over the divorce and constantly sabotaging or causing drama because she can't get over him. The man is great, but the ex is a nightmare.

[strongertogetherfitness]

100% true of these red flags. I dated a divorced man that his ex wife was at his house more than I was. I tried my best to understand especially that they had 2 kids together. I put myself thru the ringer for 4 years. Than he started lying about things whether big or small. That’s when I decided to walk. Men that are separated still care for the other woman in some way. I went thru that scenario personally when I got divorced. My ex still says you were the best I ever had. I told him yup & That’s true. And our divorce was 20 years ago. 😉👍

[downhomegirl]

Divorced men have treated their ex's way better then they will ever treat you!! They will say how they bought a home & the ex paid nothing yet.. if you want a home with them they will have the nerve to say you should pay half. The same guy will live with his parents instead of renting or buying his own place. Run is a understatement, they will waste your time, your free however, they pay alimony for the fat legged, botoxed ex.

[melaniamuvezwa]

Dating a divorced man is a disaster learnt the hard way

[thecozyconstellation]

man: i'm separated.
fact: i'm just cheating on my wife instead of working on our situation and this weekend she's at her mom's with our children.

[louiseleite]

I don't date divorced men that has children. Had 2 bad experiences, never again.

[CintronEd]

Thank you.. you made me feel better I fell in love again I found a girlfriend I became much happier again and I've been depressed for a while divorced money is a very big impact in depression after divorce.. being divorced man should not stop a person finding love again..we as men we need the respect also in living a good life .women is much easier in finding love but being a man is not easy 💔