How to Respond To Passive Aggressive Dismissive Avoidants | Dismissive Avoidant Attachment

In this video I talk about how to deal with passive aggressive behavior, and how to properly communicate in these situations.

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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel and thank you for stopping by!

This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.

Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!

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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #DismissiveAvoidant #ThaisGibson #PDS #PassiveAggressive #PassiveAggression

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[jordanlevitt]

"hey I don't know if you meant anything by that but that comment felt really passive aggressive and filled with contempt to me. If there's something specific you'd like to speak about, I would love if you can speak directly about it and please know that you can do so and I'm happy to hold space for it. However, if there are just passive aggressive remarks being made, it's definitely counterproductive and I unfortunately cannot hold space for that in this relationship."

[daniellelaurino]

You are the combination of someone who is in touch with every emotional aspect of being a human being and an analytical computer. It feels like you are beautifully considerate and try to take any possible suggestion and turn it into helping others be the best version they can be. It feels so authentic to watch you think of how your words even your body language and space may effect (affect I always get that wrong) another person. Thank you so much for taking your experience compiling them with thoughts and emotion and teaching me and others to be the best version they can be

I know it's long winded. I have been writing and changing it so much I think I will just stop while I can.... ;)

[anothercat]

DAs probably aren't so invested in the relationship to begin with,
which makes them unable to understand what "all the fuss" is about. "Why is the other person running around so much, critisizing me, etc?"

To begin with, it's the non-DA making most suggestions, risk rejections all the time, putting their pride on the line, having to invent cool activities, dates, well anything to maximize the chance of the DA to say Yes.

This makes the paasive-aggressive moves so prevalent. Something you aren't careful to keep, you can play around with. It can be a relationship, living together with someone, etc.

If we could find ways to attract the DA very much to meeting up, being physically close, from the very start of the relationship, that would make things easier.

[ZoeMaier]

You are a gift to humanity. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and making this information accessible to us! So so grateful.

[Haley_Halo]

Thank you as always, Thais. This is going to help respond to a friend who uses sarcasm to voice frustrations and has told me situations in which he made passive aggressive remarks that seem mean to others. I'm not sure how aware he is as to why he does these things, but based on the traumas of his childhood I see why he struggles to truly vocalize his needs, even to act like he has nothing unmet while clearly upset. It's a struggle to figure out how to tell him that I see his pain without him feeling like a victim and then minimizing issues.

[kayleedavenport]

Thank you!!!! It never ceases to amaze me how obvious and simple the solutions can be for the things we tend to overthink! Lol

[sw]

This is going to help with some passive aggressive ppl at work. Thank you!

[Clar]

I’m FA. He is DA. We are still married but everything is so painful and difficult. We just coexist. I want to show him your chanel because I feel that if I do so while I working with my self is the one last thing I can do to try to save our relationship. The problem is that I don’t know how to introduce him your chanel because I’m sure he will reject it directly. Any advice? Thanks för everything!! I want to be like you when I grow upp ☺️🙏🏻♥️🌹

[gezor]

7:30 there is a third scenario i experienced: she just ignores it. Silent treatment. Last time it happened I was actually reaching out to her. "I happened to hear a Nirvana song and the stuff he sang about and then I recalled you were very much into him and it made me look differently at some things you said about what happened in your past, if there is stuff that you want to speak about, I will always be there"
-"you still listen to Nirvana? That is so many years ago, did you not grow up?"
so I said this was a poisenous and passive aggressive answer, after that no reply, so a few days later I brought it up again and she just went full attack on me.
"AGAIN!!"

maybe she just is really angry at me still for all the other things that happened, she never was good at communicating and i always kept doing the self reflections and taking blame stuff. (note to self: As I am doing right now)

[faysmith]

I don't repress it I need to take time to process it. I explained I need to regulate my emotions.. Then I'm accused of holding on to stuff. Also when I do bring something up that I've processed he wouldn't listen..hed just say " well you did this" it was like tit for tat with him....I used to be avoidant but have been in therapy. So learned alot. I learn just as much in therapy as I do listening to people like you. I'm taking note of your response for future relationships. This one has done me in. Litteraly no energy for it. Wish I did. He needs therapy I can't help him. Didn't realise he was like this. It started too soon. I feel like I took on another project 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Aeorith]

You really have a video for everything <3 You already have helped me so incredibly much with dealing with my DA best friend - thank you for everything! It really helps so much to understand him better.

[denisecatlett]

My husband is very passive aggressive. I have known this for a log time, but I didn’t know what it was until recently. He is also an dismissive avoidant. Here’s an example that I did not take the bait on. Our adult, recently moved out daughter was ill and I offered to make her soup and have it delivered to her. I asked my husband to deliver it to her so that he could be involved in helping her. He was happy to be asked. I knew he would be ( I tend to be very assertive and typically take on most responsibilities). So I get the care package together, soup and watermelon. He looks into the bag and says “ is that it, No cookies or candy”. It’s never enough for him. Normally I would have reacted badly by telling him how annoying he is. Which he is. But instead I said “ you are welcome to add anything into the care package that you would like to”. I didn’t take the bait and I was proud of my self. There was a flash of anger on his face. There was no more said.

[notmyrealpseudonym]

Thank you. And good comment about ' 'only' you should do the work' half way through.

[tabitharaj]

Wow Thais! You are amazing at this - and this is so true! I am dealing with this now. Thank you for this video! :)

[shancturn]

What do you do if the person you are talking to denies they are having a need or being passive aggressive? How do you move forward with the conversation then?

[little_bird]

What do you do if they deny that they’re being passive aggressive? It prevents you from going anywhere. So hard.

[face-in-the-crowd]

Yep being told that "you're not even someone's quarter" whilst trying to establish your boundaries when you don't want unexpected visits 🙄

[grantaugustyniak]

I don’t play into the crap. I’m very blunt and direct with my responses back to them. I use very short words - never a long explanation!
This works more so with co-workers, friends, people in general. If this is a marriage type situation- it depends on the subject at hand as to how far I will go into the conversation about what is happening.

[gracechan]

Again. Your videos are so timely for me right now!

[anothercat]

Yes, I think he wants me to ask to meet up,
many DAs are particular about "It's her turn now".
Exactly 50%.
But I feel so afraid with all the passive aggressive text messages. He is one-up-ing, FOMO-ing and jealousy-making, it feels weird.

Before last date I sent him lots of music geek things, links, my theories, asking about concerts he went to, etc. This made him secure and he asked me out again.

But after that date he's been very very passive aggressive. Clearly he has a different strategy for making me ask him out.