How to Respond to Condescending Remarks | How to Deal with Passive Aggressive People | Anti-Bullying

In this free online communication video on how to respond to condescending remarks, world-renowned communication skills expert, Communication Coach Dan O'Connor shows you how to use clarifying statements followed by a tag question to shine a spotlight on the "condescender" and his/her true intentions. You don't want to sink to the level of condescending people. You don't want to cast out darkness with more darkness. You want to shine a spotlight on behavior that is rude, and put a period to it--around YOU. Your goal is not to change people, but rather establish boundaries so that you are not a victim of their behavior. #rudecomments #condescendingcomments #communicationskillstraining

Keep in touch with expert communication trainer Dan O'Connor:

-English listening skills
-How to read body language
-Communication skills for the telephone
-How to deal with difficult people at work
-Power phrases and danger phrases for work
-Professional telephone skills
-Job interview skills
-How to deliver bad news to a customer
-Communication Skills for Leaders

877-570-1573

[TheWizardOfWords]

HEY MY FRIENDS: If these videos are having a positive impact on you, please show your support by becoming a CHANNEL MEMBER and/or clicking the THANKS BUTTON above and leaving a little love. A little love will allow me to continue delivering these videos directly to you!

[africanbella]

I believe that people who exhibit this type of behavior are generally insecure with themselves🤔. I don't waste my time interacting with them.

[paxsmile]

I’ve had to deal with a lot of condescending people at work and when I tried that strategy of clarifying they play the “dumb card”: “me?? Why would you think that?? Boo hoo you’ve hurt my feelings, etc” trying to make you look like the paranoid bad guy...

[dancunchiriga]

Very true... "condensceders" really want to make other feel incompetent... good great tactics ... excellent

[stargirl-]

I’m a woman, almost 20 and I have two male colleagues. They’re both quite a lot older and extremely condescending. One straight out tells me I’m a baby and that I don’t know anything and the other constantly speaks to me in a slow tone as you would when talking to a child. He also does other little things like slow sarcastic clapping whenever I’ve completed a basic task (which I know how to do) and shakes his head at me whenever I make a ‘mistake’ I know they probably both have inferiority complexes and are projecting it onto me but it gets tiring dealing with it almost everyday. I feel belittled and stupid. Thanks for the video btw I just wanted to rant about this lol

[lsluguu]

People on the comments saying ignore, it’s there own insecurities, they’re trying to make them feel better and you worse; that really doesn’t fix the problem, ultimately we don’t want patronising people getting away with what they’re doing, ignoring them doesn’t work.

[crazygenx]

you're a genius. I need you in my head.

[NoraDawn]

only when this is not your boss. Passive aggressive bosses can destroy you. I actually think they enjoy doing the slap down.

[marthacvd]

Robert Downey Robert Downey Jr!!!! ROBERT FREAKIN DOWNEY FREAKIN JR!!!! All day I have been trying to pinpoint who you look like, and its him! LOVE YOU!

[Darthbelal]

To be honest, I want to SMASH the passive aggressive types and let people know that I'm not to be messed

[juliadixon]

Have ASD, and do extremely well on standardized tests, so I suspect I'm not as stupid as coworkers and supervisors find me. My problem is that fight/flight/freeze kicks in, and my go-to is 'freeze'. Freezing for me includes the brain, and I always forget this. The few times I don't, I'm seen as being aggro/defensive.

[bethbartlett]

Dan - I applaud your positive recommendations -
I would like to add - for your viewers that might find themselves in a 1st time (adult situation with the "Passive-Aggressive Person) -
Make a mental note of this "they are insecure as Dan pointed out - often jealous of your "balanced positive attitude" -
(Not to be confused w those whom are joking - even if in bad taste) -
WATCH FOR THE BULLYING TYPES OF BEHAVIORS - (The Narcissistic behaviors) as they can actually be a Narcissist or other Personality Disorder Types -
And definitely use the - It sounds as though you fell I can't do this well - is that what you are implying?"
Avoid a retort further as -
They could easily be looking for a reason to "bait" you ALSO - if they feel you publically embarrassed them - that could set off a "Gaslighting" plot against you -

Set clear boundaries - be firm and - watch for reoccuring encounters with more than one of these - as we magnets draw these types for a number of reasons -

If it becomes uncomfortable - seek help from a counselor/therapist on how to best handle these situations and what to avoid to prevent them.

Many terms describe what often gets lightly excused as "That's just how he or she is." Well, that is a social acceptance of an inappropriate behavior that often gets labeled Bully - and needs to be understood - they are nightmares -

Great positive sharing - people need good resource information - pass it along and join the Stop Bullying Campaigns (child and adult).

Be Happy being you!

[kayann]

These videos are 10X more helpful than the plethora of videos about “how to spot a gaslighter!” which then go on to describe communication which is passive aggressive and potentially harmful but usually just annoying, and does meet the true definition of gaslighting. Wish we could stop labeling people and start learning how to communicate with each directly and kindly.

[heidicrimmings]

Hey, Mister. You came into my life exactly when I needed your help. Thank God for you. I believe He sent you!!!💐💐

[patriotgirl]

It's sad that we have to study how to communicate with toxic people, when we know that they are the ones in need of help. With that being said, PAs are very good at twisting your words, to try and convince you, how you started the whole thing. They are so tiring. So in order for us to stand our ground against their manipulations, we have to learn how to handle them. People shouldn't have to be so darn difficult.

[rc]

Thank you for being here Dan. I am dealing with difficulties at work, and your advice and expertise is more helpful than you know.

[jameslaiola]

I gotta be brutally honest. I love your videos and I wish this information was far more international than it is. Thank you for standing up for all of us. You know this puts you in a situation that could escalate to difficult. But I want to thank you. I would love to be one of your guests. I've had a lot of experience within all over bearing bully situations.

[horsemania]

Thank you so much Dan for taking the trouble to answer my question. Fortunately, I have distanced myself from this particular person since, but I will no doubt encounter her again in the future, and because of your help I will be more than equipped to deal with her. Love your videos Dan.

[ashg]

This is by far, the best video I have seen on how to deal with passive aggressive comments. Bless your soul. I have gotten so sick of passive aggressive comments being made over the past 7 years, that I tell them that if they are going to say passive aggressive comments... I'm going to say things that hurt their feelings. The enablers keep saying, "well, you don't know if they were talking about you cause they didn't say your name." Your video has quite possibly changed my life, THANK-YOU!!

[prosperityqueengrace]

We are all a work in progress. Dan, keep providing these powerful learning tools for honing communication skills.👍👍👍