Dr. K talks Emotional Neglect, ADHD, and Purpose

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, and Meditation

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[BanjoPixelSnack]

As a woman, diagnosed with ADHD at 41, I never realised how lonely I was as a kid until I got my new psychologist and we started talking about how much time I spent alone making up stories in my head as a kid. My parents barely registered my existence, unless I made a mistake, got told off for “being slow”, or forgot to do something they’d asked me to do. I was lonely in my bones, animals were my best friends and still are. I don’t know if it caused the ADHD or whether I always had ADHD and the loneliness just made it harder to get help for.

[MrsRepairTech]

I've literally had to bite my tongue and remind myself, "My husband is allowed to feel angry/upset/frustrated/annoyed/etc., and he's allowed to express those emotions." I hate that my first reaction is to be upset when he's showing a negative emotion; it's one thing to feel empathy, it's another to let someone else's emotions dictate how I feel. I'm definitely a work in progress.

[nichtse]

2:04:08 I was that 17 year old, you got me to go to therapy, stop gaming so much and got my life together. Now I have a 3.7 at uni and am going to law school next. Also not depressed anymore. Thank you for your help and for making that choice. Because I am scared what I would be like now without your channel.

[leahtheanimationfan]

22:58 Why on earth should I live?
25:09 Basics: Survival
30:04 Where spirituality comes in
34:46 Why we suffer
51:18 Duty + desire = happiness

[joy]

didn't realise how long this was going to be when i clicked on it, but i had one more low mood low achievement day today, and i started playing it in the background as i tidied my room. now my room is sorted, i've washed my face, had some food, cleared the pile of dishes, prepped some of my breakfast, brushed my teeth, picked out my clothes; and I've finished listening to the stream right as i'm finally ready to sleep knowing i've got what i need to do well tomorrow. great wisdom and great timing!

[BOSSDONMAN]

Anyone here think it's effectively impossible to raise children to be well-balanced and emotionally healthy individuals with two parents working full-time? I was watching Dr. K's video on alexithymia, and I feel like barely seeing my parents for only a few hours at most for most of the week for most of my adolescence inevitably led me to feeling neglected without me even realizing it (emotional colorblindness).

The socioeconomic catch-22 though is that it is basically impossible for the vast majority of the population to afford to raise children without two incomes.

[peachwalls]

“This is spirituality: to have your behaviours not be controlled by your pleasure, or have your behaviours not be controlled by avoidance of pain.” Mind blown.

[JustAKonchu]

The topic around 1:45:00 really stood out to me as a male paraeducator. I was seen carrying a student who was having a tantrum and wouldn't walk into a separate room where it would be safe for her to express her emotions without disrupting the class. I was later reported by someone and was made to take time off of work while HR held an investigation. I was only doing what the teacher asked of me. Luckily, I was able to return to work but now there's a mark on my file saying that I was warned for my conduct. I understand the need to protect our children but being falsely accused like that was traumatic.

[julietardos]

Dr. K, the world is a better place because you are in it. Thank you for all that you do.

[TheXLAXLimpLungs]

I actually wrote a paper on that exact same topic in high school. Why people keep trying to do the same thing over and over every day just to barely make enough to survive. And it's astonishing. Once I became an adult and had a job and started working how little that bothers me now. I find joy in everyday things and people I talk to and co-workers and stuff like that and all of a sudden the part where you wake up every day to go do that again and again and again becomes bearable because there's some stuff to look forward to beyond just money.

[jadejago]

I was hoping for a lecture on the relationship between adhd symptoms and neglect. Great talk anyway. Hopefully the next one will cover it.

[coyoteinthepool]

That is an interesting point about anger.

As someone raised with a father who was explosively angry, threw tantrums, and everyone had to handle with kid gloves....

Anger *of that sort* is not negotiable for me in a relationship, but there are absolutely healthy ways to feel anger and passion about the wrongs in the world.

I am still healing and learning what those are! But anger is a natural part of our selves, and shouldn't be ignored.

[julietijerina]

I always get such a kick out of Dr. K when he slides into Indian Guru Mode. Cracks me up. 😄

[SIC]

Could you please do a live about that topic, that is in the image and the title: Emotional neglect and ADHD.
I really need it!

[tiffanybazemore]

This was an awesome talk but please revisit the adhd and emotional neglect, thanks y’all

[creativebite]

Me waiting for the adhd part till I forgot why I'm watching this

[Vampress]

Oh I never heard a description of spirituality like this before! I love that you called it "personal psychology". Been raised atheist I was always wary of this topic because of how intertwined it is with religion but your explanation is so well done. A very useful conversation.

[AT]

I love how passionate you are. Love your channel Dr K

[theSelfCareStudio]

I've struggled with addiction, making decisions, and trying to find my purpose. I feel like the things I learned here are going to change the game for me! I learned how I can make better choices without abandoning myself, the difference between pleasure and contentment, how to stop being driven by dopamine/pleasure, why social media can make it so hard to know what I want.... so many good things in here. Really grateful for a channel that combines the topics of psychology, neuroscience, spirituality, and mental health in such an artful, evidence-based, and engaging way.

[shroudedguardian]

I felt a real connect to the topic of emotional allowance, for a long period of my life and still to this day in my own time behind the scenes deal with anger issues. While I know my anger can be very dangerous if I don't reign it in, it took Dr.K's videos to learn how to listen to the emotion properly rather than letting it fly off the handle. A good example of the disallowance on anger is in argument. I used to seethe and still find it annoying how those who come off as petty, or speak with venom, won't have their argument judged as harshly as anger. Often the case being that yelling immediately loses you the argument, even if you had the stronger or more objectively correct point.