CPTSD Emotional Triggers What are YOUR Paired Associations?

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If the videos are not enough - if you are hopping from video to video yet still struggle to experience real and lasting shifts in your life, here are some links for other resources that you can check out and see if any are a good fit for you:

[reallifepsych]

So thankful for these videos. Thank you!

[profpriv]

Another great video, Michele. I am experiencing a situation like this which, when it was first triggered last year was extremely unpleasant. I began to behave like a scared little boy and all adult rationale went out the window. I couldn't think straight or speak like an adult. Just an overwhelming sense of irrational guilt, with heart racing etc. Very unpleasant. I took a long time to realise what was going on-an emotional trigger.

[johnmcvicar]

"Avoidance only makes our triggers worse". Great one-liner.

[lydias.coaching]

Great Video. Yes, that's why getting to the core of our issues and healing it is so important.

[beccawright]

Wow 😳 this is my problem... I thought I worked on all of this why is it no one ever said I had PTSD? I mean my trauma started at 4 and never really stopped. I have no boundaries anymore with anyone...😳😔

[noracharles]

Savage Fan 🦋
This is my life and she understands ✡

[zhenya]

Setting boundaries from this traumatized perspective is so scary that pushing somebody away entirely instead becomes the solution.

[cerenyldz]

I'm so grateful I clicked on this video. Saying no to my narcissistic family always got me and still gets me in "danger", now that I am almost NC and setting solid boundaries as an adult, I see why I was so scared of relationships before.

[kimsmith]

Wow that explains what I've went through my whole life.

[itsall_coming_down]

Going through this right now. Thank you thank you 🌹❤️

[shiningstar]

Feel it everyday. Vicious circle. Cannot remember a time I have tried setting a boundary with success, especially with a boss - who controls your job and employment

[gingerhenna]

I had a cptsd event happen to me a few years ago, and it freaked me out. It happened at a family reunion vacation, where the location was a place our family had spent many summers in our childhood. A male sibling with 100% npd and who had alcohol and drug addiction as well as prescription drug use, came after me verbally, not using any words that explained a problem, but continued to use the bluster of drama and body language of distain, as if I had somehow done an unpardonable sin too unfathomable to speak It's name. My body registered it as big danger. Later I was able to note and chart how he had been setting me up using various ploys throughout the week, and using extreme interactions of acceptance, and then rejection with me, getting and keeping me off balance. It appeared as if he was creating interactions with the goal of controlling the perceived threat that I was to him. ( or quite frankly he was stealing my peace while dumping his own negative emotions to keep himself regulated.) It has taken years but because of that emotional flashback trauma ptsd experience, I began to learn about npd. And today I am learning about cptsd. I thought it was a flashback to a pre-verbal state, because their were no words or images, just the dread and time freezing with a hieghtened sense of awareness of danger. But I've started listening to Michelle's definitions of cptsd and have found comfort that it seemed to have been my experience. I've heard that in extreme fight or flight response, or deer staring at the headlights, we can get a huge boost of adrenaline which enhances our experience of things being so extreme, but undefinable. Interestingly, showing the annimation of the left brain dark, right brain in tbis video, explains a lot. The psychedelic explosion of neon colors says the left side went dark, the right experienced a trip. In the 1980s I had worked hard at 12 step programs for codependent, alanon, and adult children of alcoholics, because, well, my family has dysfunctional issues. Honestly, I was surprised my 2 other male siblings closed ranks around the sibling that messed with my head, which finally was the culmination and finale of what they had always done, which was gaslighting and then scapegoating me since I was a child, which I have memory of. So I won't be interacting with them again because they cannot in any way because they are deeply stuck in active disfunction. So yes, I am happy to now study the unpairing of things, to heal and to gain confidence..

[tiablasangoriti]

Even "Success" = Danger/ Attack at work. I would receive bonuses, promotions and elevations on the job. Psychological Attacks from co-workers being jealous made working with Narcissists unbareable. It evoked feelings of paralyzing terror.

[johnpaul]

Thank you Michele Good morning and good day to you without any snakes

[ignatiusequality]

This is so accurate to my life experience right now! Watching this, I lost my breath.
Please will you show us how to upair those harmful associations?

[juliakite]

Thank you Michelle, you explain this so well & it absolutely applies to me. Ive completed a course in setting boundaries & understand how to put them in place; & at times can actually even put them in place. But I find it a terrifying thing to even think about & so stressful to do. Now I understand why. 🙏💜

[bradmcewen]

These mental associations should have been as logical, easy to discern as physical sensations. When reality is slightly altered by a so called friend you give it a pass. By the time its aggressively ramped up altered, your conditioned to the manipulation. For example fire>hot>burn>wound. One time and your good. No one could change your mind. Better when theres no need to reexperiment. Social intelligence of all human nature should be high school curriculum. Once you get old enough you also see the relics of human fears, prejudices and ignorance re-emerge untaught & destine to repeat. You can see the elements of social physical and emotional release that did not happen in the pandemic producing abstract behavior.

[larisabreedlove]

"Associates with danger" Omg, YES! This happens to me almost daily. But I didn't realize that was what was happening. Michele, your videos are helping me navigate my issues immensely. Thank you so much! Boundaries are such a problem for me because I feel like its "not allowed" and fear punishment (physical & verbal) if I insist upon it. Is it normal that I feel such resentment towards my abusive father/neglectful mother for having to do all this hard work on myself due to their abuse/neglect? Cuz I really do. It sucks. But I'll be damned if I'm gunna give up now....

[lesleygarvs]

It is dangerous to put boundaries to malignant narcissists, Michelle! Abusors feel soo much right to possess you... Or to use your time, etc... You really have to put these people back in place... Yet saying straight no is not the only option... For instance, i have a patient, and is a passive abusor... I can not really explain to you what he does to me, yet I know I don t want to be around this person... I told him long ago, yet now... In the middle of the pandemie he asked me to treat him... I told him I am moving to another town... Instead of disscussing with him... He already proved me he doesn t understand the word no... Yet a plan b would be to simply call him the authorities... Then they would doble proof what I already know... That this guy is... Ku ku in his head and and... Yet if I don t cut it in a nice way... These guy would be giving me hell, maybe with obnoxious calls and and... So... Better friendly and lovely as much as possible... Not easy... But most times is a waste of energy to discuss 1 more second... Yet sometimes they go to far... I call them the authorities... Each case is different... But only abusors don t like authorities... Yes, of course, because they can t manipulate somebody trained to stop their manipulations... So i feel free to mention authorities here and there... As woman it also feels safer to know they are there to help... Or at least to scare these malignant people...
The same in the streets, the y give you dirty looks try to call your attention... I turn around... To them, show them i am not scared... Because i am not anymore, don t let toxic shame come over me... And go when i am ready with them... They used to backstab me, speak their dirt almost in my face without me defending... It still doesn t work for me to totally ignore them... So i face them... These courage comes from tiredness of being a marionette of their mind games... Not anymore... I am back... If they abuse me, i call the police... That simple!

[tiablasangoriti]

Setting boundaries= Danger with my Malignant Narcissistic Mother.