“UNDERSTANDING CPTSD”

[kyxxit]

I was not allowed to express emotion as a child, then later in life, I didn't know how. I felt like a fraud trying to experience emotions. So awkward.

[KPPAH]

57 and this is the first time Ive heard my life explained. People told me I was an old soul because I was so serious, nope I was traumatized and trying desperately to hold it together.❤

[rashadhouston]

This is why I still watch Bob Ross as a grown man. He was my escape from the chaos as a kid. Sometimes I feel like I’ve been in a dream for 3 decades just to survive.

[shoppertattoo]

Too relatable! Growing up with abuse like this is so hard and then because you weren’t physically harmed people don’t consider it “real” abuse 😢

[haleyjeann]

Holy crap I just cried because you have just described my childhood. I was always on high alert and have never really learned how to regulate my emotions (still like this til this very day) and I’ve always felt like a burden to everyone in my life. I’ve never been diagnosed but everything you just named for symptoms is 100% me.

[casspower]

I isolate myself a lot because I feel it’s the best way for me not to let myself down and not to have a bad interaction with someone I’ll later regret.

[ella_cupcake]

Reminder that CPTSD isn’t always caused by family issues. My family is great. Unfortunately my childhood was a series of unfortunate events, feeling disconnected from my peers and stupid because of my undiagnosed neurodivergence, and depression.

[ExplosionMare]

Reminds me of an analogy my college psych teacher came up with where children in stable homes may deal with a "bear" every now and then but their family tries to protect them from it but children in unstable/abusive homes LIVE with that "bear", so they're constantly on edge and worried about their safety.

[linnflame]

Yes so spot on. Also it's a much more difficult thing to deal with when the trauma started so early on. It shapes our brain and the person we become and so when we start healing it can be difficult to differentiate the trauma and who you are. I'm finally stating to identify less with the trauma and become who I am.

[mendingmandy]

For me, I was taken from my biological parents. I believe I have disorganized attachment. They completely neglected me letting me cry in the crib. When I was a baby I wouldn't cry anymore but smack my backside on the mattress to tell grandparents (who adopted me) I was awake.

My adoptive parents died and then family friend i knew since diapers took me in. She turned out to be a malignant narcissist. She took over my childhood home, neglected feeding me, put my room in the basement and told me she could stay in my childhood home and inheritance until I was 30. She had us join this weird church and exorcised me of demons telling me they were oppressing me. She called me "rebellious" to her and God. We didn't get medical care. She took me off my meds that I was on when my grandparents were alive, cold turkey.

Then she kicked me out of my home when I was in college because I confronted her for being abusive. I went to 4 different homes and 3 jobs trying to finish college. Years later, we probated my granddad will. She had misused every penny and the will stated I had to live there for her to be in my home. I spent 20k from the sale of my childhood home to kick her out of my house. I succeeded but it was hell. The house was in bad shape because her husband Jerry rigged it as they used my dads money to renovate it.

I have betrayal trauma. I have CPTSD. Thanks for hearing parts of my story.

[amym.]

I tried to explain this to my husband. Like I'm not really in my body. I was with my mother the other day while she was being toxic, and she was annoyed that I was looking outside. I wasn't with her, I was outside.

[kslucki]

Emotionally unavailable mother and aggressive father. Spot on! First time I hear someone mention the same dynamic. When I feel disrespected, my anger goes through the roof. I do not know how to receive love. I was a nervous and now avoidant attacher.

[foxInGloves]

This isn't just from childhood... It can also develop from long term domestic abuse as an adult .

[staceydenise]

I just turned 50 this month and finally got my nervous system to calm down. Living like I’m BASE jumping off Mt. Rainer everyday is no way to live!! Love your videos!!❤❤

[tamarabradshaw]

You just described my household growing up😮
Detached mother, angry, frightening father and 5 older bullying siblings. I was bullied in school too.

[Funbunny]

My mom was emotionally unavailable for any of my emotional needs, but expected me to be her shoulder to cry on. Now I’m fucked in the head 😊

[Heyjennydee]

Wow. I still stare at the wall all the time lost in thought. Or sometimes no thoughts, just gone. I do this a lot while watching tv or movies as well, and have to constantly rewind or ask the person next to me, “wait what happened?” 😂 can anyone else relate?
Anyways…I think im gonna show this to my counselor at my outpatient treatment center, because it truly explains my emotional trauma in one short. Thank you for sharing! And sending love and compassion to each and every person who looked at this and thought “yepp, thats me.” ✨❤️

[kyxxit]

Please know that this condition leaves you open and vulnerable to sexual abuse and narcissism. We grew up without a voice of our own, so we didn't know how to stand up for ourselves. I got bullied a lot, then one day, I'd had enough and fought back. Now I'm a scrapper and I don't let people get too close. People aren't safe. It can make for a very lonely life. You feel like people don't like you and you never fit in. It's okay. Really, if you suffer from this, it is who you are and it's okay. You'll be okay.

[brittanyisabelle]

Soo true about just leaving your body.."your there but not really there"up till now i find it so hard to be present with my body because my whole childhood i always distract myself and ignore my emotions.this really was spot on and well detailed.

[aavurit]

My dear mom. It took me years of growing up and therapy to understand her. I wish I could hug her as a little girl, her inner child.