Emotional Triggers - When They Feel IMPOSSIBLE To Work Through - Watch This Video #cptsd

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So today I'm talking about how to deal with difficult people when you're in a triggered state. Have you ever noticed that you can learn about emotional triggers you can learn what helps you to respond and not react and yet the second you're in a situation with somebody difficult and you try to apply what you learned it's almost like it doesnt work or it just feels impossible to apply at the moment. So lets talk about why that is. For those that dont know me my name is Michele I'm a trauma informed coach, a somatic experiencing practitioner, I'm also the founder of the School of Transformation which is a monthly membership where we meet live on zoom and we do the inner work to heal from complex ptsd, childhood trauma, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse we do it together so if my videos resonate with you but you're looking for more help come join me live on zoom.
So lets talk about why its so hard to apply things like observe don't absorb - in other words when people are being difficult notice it see it because we're not blind and it's going to affect us because we're human but don't absorb it to the point that it causes emotional dysregulation and excess suffering for you. The problem is that when you're triggered there is a biology to that trigger that's extremely intense. For example your heart rate increases, your breathing changes, it becomes shallow, fast and from your chest. Your blood pressure goes up blood rushes from head to extremities, your body is flooded with cortisol and stress hormones in the world of somatic experiencing we call this activation. Your body is now activated and mobilizing to do something for action. Imagine someone in the car and their foot is pounded on gas pedal - it's at that moment that we often want to apply something that helps us to not react which makes sense because it's a pattern we can get stuck in. We're dealing with somebody difficult they trigger us we react we go down this cycle of being triggered and reacting in a way that we don't want to and so it makes sense that at that moment we want to change things. The problem is that if we don't have the capacity to be with all of that that's coming up then we won't be able to just respond without reacting. This is a topic that we talk about a lot in the School of Transformation in fact in one of our upcoming months we will have a whole month dedicated to working with emotional flashbacks. If this is something you struggle with I invite you to come just for that month - you can be a monthly member or you can come with us for the year and commit to transforming from the inside out.
So lets talk about how to build capacity - in this video I'm going to share a clip from one of our recent meetings from the school of transformation where someone had this exact question. A little bit of back information - one of the ways we build capacity is by changing the meaning of a situation.