Narcissistic Parent Tactics That Cause Childhood Trauma and CPTSD

Narcissistic parents often use tactics that lead to CPTSD, and childhood trauma and can have long-lasting effects on you as an adult.

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

[jerrywise]

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

[irinamladenoska]

I am sooo sorry for my inner child. I started to be my self at the age of 52.

[hahnf]

I finally said goodbye to my father after more than 30 years of continued trauma. Honestly, the hardest thing to deal with was the guilt other people put on you for doing so. Those people who do not understand what it is like to deal with toxic parents, it's exhausting and it's okay to walk away from it.

[madam-mim]

Imagine being held back your entire life, and only discovering as an adult that what you've experienced actually had a name and you could have prevented it had you only knew about all this terminology at an early age.

[muzeezhodillo]

I bought myself a hat. My Mum took it off me and tried it on and said, "it looks better on me." It sat on top of her wardrobe for years and she never wore it once.

[theoryofpersonality]

I was six, sitting at a table, sobbing after being hit in the head so hard my face hit the book. She said " you're to stupid to copy something right " I was six years old in a foreign country tying to learn a new language and didn't know I was dyslexic.

[Nat-zrjq]

I decided to just cut all communication with my narcissist mother and pedophile father for my own healing. They adopted me when I was five, they already had two kids and I was just a scapegoat and a plaything for them. Once I had my own kids, I saw the abuse in a whole new light and basically said F*CK YOU and I was DONE!
The only forgiveness I felt I needed to have was to forgive myself for all the wars I waged against myself, for all the self sabotage, I forgave myself. I don’t particularly feel like I need to forgive them but I also no longer let it consume me, I’m just indifferent towards them. It is what it is and I’ve moved on.

[lindapendleton]

I don't let anyone live rent free in my head and no one shuold. I've used a tactic called negative affermations.' Any thing else you don't like about me?' They eventually run out of material to attract you with. I'm the scapegoat that escaped.Lol😊

[dotsyjmaher]

"Stop neglecting yourself."...lightning just went through me

[ryad]

Not just narcissistic parents but siblings as well!

[FFlores]

Sometimes the gaslighting is more subtle ...like the parent is yelling at you and you respond in a normal voice and you are told that you are the one causing the problem..argument

The Physical neglect point touched me deeply. I remember as a child and teenager being sick and being completely ignored. One night at 14 years old I had a severe asthma an couldn't breathe, I stood up and ask my mom for help and she just turned to the other side in her bed and told me that she wouldn't help me, that she had enough issues with my sister, that she couldn't pay a doctor, that I should wait until I grow up and work to pay myself a doctor.

[TrollDragomir]

I just listened to the part about covert putdowns and my dad's sense of humour came to mind. "Well son, I'm happy you managed to do SOMETHING right in life" after telling him that I'm soon going to be a father myself.

[gus]

My mother would always disagree with me no matter what, she just would never like to accept that I might be right or that what I have to say might be right. She would always question me and make me feel like I was stupid or dumb.

[silviabohemica]

My mother would do all of that and more. As an adult she would get me to a breaking point (provoking and denying stuff, smiling to my face while saying that all the wrongs she did to me didn't exist) and than record me while I was raging. Then she would let other people listen to those recordings so I would be considered like the crazy piece of shit that she was. Honestly I understand why some people end up killing themselves or their parent. I want out myself. She stole my life, my choices, my future, the person I was supposed to be. And she doesn't understand why I can't stand her

[GodiscomingBhappy]

- Emotional neglect
- Gaslighting
- stone walling and silent treatment
- covert putdowns and overt ones
- verbal abuse (get internal boundaries aka thick skin, ignore them!!they are weird animals and arent worth it)
-project their negatives traits on you
- sabotage and pathological envy
- Hot and cold behaviour
- Rage attacks
- micro managing (who are you speaking to, what you eat, what you wear....)
- neglect and physical deprivation
- triangulation (emmeshment)
- pitch forking ( dont join them)
- smear campaigns (maintain self confidence and self esteem)
- parentification, emotional incest
- sexual abuse, coercion
-

[msdemeanour]

My abusive parents have not seen me since 2015. I tried & tried until I realised in my 40's these people never change. As soon as they discovered I was going to therapy & talking about the trauma they put me through all my life, they preferred to pretend I don't exist. Everyone assumes I am a terrible child & that is what hurts the most now. My heart turned to stone many years ago, when neither parent called me to see if I survived a 4 hour major surgery.

[janl.]

I'm a ACOA and a recovering alcoholic. I'm the scapegoat in the family; I realize now at 55 that they continue to abuse me mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. It's so covert that I wasn't aware until recently when I started to learn more about gaslighting, silent treatment, and indirect put-downs. On my last visit with them, I decided I was done with the disrespect I needed a break.

[Georgi-Slavov-Ukraini]

It's so scary:you consider your narc parents your closest people, but they are actually your worst enemy, and have no connection to you whatsoever except their DNA.

[lesterstone]

You're right. As a child, you're doing your level best to make them proud of you, and they see you as competition. You can't please everyone, so you gotta please yourself.