What Does the Narcissist Get Out of Hoovering? Why Do They Do It?

🔥 *One-on-One Coaching With Christina*

If you've been in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, odds are good that you've been through the idolization-devaluing-discarding cycle -- and then it turns to hoovering and the cycle repeats. So what is hoovering and why do narcissists so often use this manipulative technique? In today's video we answer the question, why does the narcissist hoover?

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*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

[Ruby]

I’m so proud of myself for resisting 2 Hoover’s this summer. Other times I would give in. I had to realize that the Narcissist hates you has no intention of accepting accountability changing his/her behaviors.

[rikuzavala]

Glad I’m watching this because i almost broke no contact even after she discarded me twice even after all my pain it’s true it’s so addicted to hear them tell you they miss you is all you dreamed of but it’s all a trap once your back they flip the switch and you’re back to being in their web and you know how hard it is to the point of leaving or getting discarded... it’s tough stay away

[myrahouse]

I can’t believe it went from Heaven to Hell in only 1 year 🥺🤯💔

Imagine what people did before the internet we at least got the heads up.

I’m at the no contact stage now enough is enough 😖

He hoovered me to many times I enjoyed it 🤗 who wouldn’t, but then I realised I was never ever going to be with him ever again.

Christmas 🎄 2019 I ignored him even after he pleaded I talk to him, he said all the stuff he knew I’d love to hear.... nah I have the heads up now!

I ignored I need peace of mind ☀️

I mourned for him 😭that was absolute agony 🤯

The Hoover that’s just damn well cruel.

[ChristienahRobertsonTravis]

So their whole thing is to keep your head twisted up thinking about them right? And they keep it going in a seemingly endless cycle. If you know they really have no plans to completely let you go after the break up then it really is all about mind games. Their mind games with you and the mind games they play with themselves.
So the day comes that you are hoovered and he says something like "I'd still like to hang out some times", but of course never says when. Why? Because it is at his convenience. He is in retreat/silent mode right now so his instincts are to stay away. He expects you to ask him to meet you in person so he can say no. I mean if you're sure what stage he is at in the cycle.
He says no and you get more time to heal. In the meantime, his brain is in overdrive. I texted her. She's still open to meeting me. I'll just make her wait having no idea you are just waiting for his next move which is probably to pop up randomly in the next 7 days to return a stupid jacket you forgot in his car.
When that day comes, he is less in your head and you are more in his. That is personal power. You can do a whole lot with that.

[paulothx]

Man, Christina was the first person that i've learned about narcissism, 3 years ago. Thank you for everything ma'am.

[CommonEgo]

Have you been a victim of narcissistic hoovering? Maybe you're tired of the cycle and looking for change. I'd love to hear your thoughts on hoovering. And thanks for watching!

[Urkinorobitch]

Speaking from experience, if one of the reasons your partner ''loves you so much'' is because you are ''helpful'' by basically tolerating their violent outbursts... get out now!

It will not get better, it will get worse, keep your love for someone who actually loves you.

[koreenalaw]

I find your videos very helpful.. thank you so much !!! Im almost 5 weeks no contact with my ex narc who discarded me after five years .. the last year or more he had been very verbally abusive to me . He said he was angry because i was ready to move to his state and marry him .. but i just knew something was wrong and i kept delaying it .. but i still gave him love .. his discarded me when i used my vacation time to spend with my son .. I didnt enjoy time with my ex narc because he would give me such a hard time .. he discarded me a few weeks before the last discard and came back a week later .. I shouldn't have allowed him back into my life .. I'm so proud of myself for blocking him on everything .. but haven't changed my phone number . I was heart broken for the first few weeks . But now feel so much stronger .. like im detaching myself ..

[corinaavelar]

they fall in love with a part of you; with some aspect of you but not YOU as a person. They always want to see you as an object but not so much a person. Now that we’re broken up, I realize I deserved better since the start. I have more to offer than just one aspect of me. #stophooveringme

[tiayvette]

I wonder when a narcissist gets a new supply are they already working on another supply

[stephaniepittaluga]

You guys, I just got a Hoover FIVE YEARS after a brutal second discard and no contact whatsoever. I’m in disbelief, and the emotions that come with it have surprised even me.

[MissMJJanet]

I've been hoovered, endless times in my first relationship ever. This was with a narcissist. (5 years). Since him, the men I've been in a relationship with or dated, have been narcissists. They've never lastet long.

I'm a very nice, loving and giving person. Always smiling and laughing, quite stunning to look at 😍 and the narcissists draw to me. I also used to be a people pleaser, growing up with a narcissistic father. They can sense that.

So now, when these narcissist start to step on me in any abusive negatively trying to manipulate me way, or suddenly drasticly change in behavioral habits and/or change in their tone and vibe with me, or starts to project their shit on to me, and so on you know. (at this point, I have already analyzed them and seen some red flags for narcissism)

I will speak up. I will address it and confront them, even if my voice shakes. I will confront them and pull them out on their shit and tell them how it is and what I will not putt up with, and boom, it's over. Either way or another. And I've found out, I'm not good supply. Anymore. They don't come back. Some've tried, just by dipping their toes, but no thanks for me, and they're gone again.

Learn to trust yourself. And tell them off and be gone. Of course it can hurt, but you have to heal your inner, work on yourself AND do your homework on narcissism, in order to spot them better. You have to listen to your inner guidence and wishing for the better for yourself.

You seriously need to pull them out on their shit and know to leave, when you watch their words and their behavior simular to narcissistic behavior on several counts by now. Be gone before the abuse has even startet. Only forplay, testing limits, they do, while love bombing. Small hints will sneak in no matter what 🙏

You got this honey ❤️❤️❤️

[shaniecegullison]

Going through a Hoover right now.he just messaged and says "what are you doing"like he hasn't just disguarded me times.goddd

[christiandiaz]

My narcissist ex always wanted to hear how miserable I was when she successfully hovered me.

[Xwaterwicca]

He told me please let him move on with his life, but he keeps Hoovering me every few months I was his best reply

I feel like you are talking about my life for the last 20 years. I am on my way to a healthier happier future and this is helping me heal. Thank you

[brendakauffman]

They do almost always hoover their old supply or fuel, because even if you are not giving good supply now they see this as a challenge to break your newfound strength down. They even will persist with hoover attempts for some time with people not giving them good supply who gave them good supply in the past, in attempts to wear them down and get them back under their control like the "good appliance" they are supposed to be.

[ladarrianbishop]

I had that deja vu moment twice, I told her I was done and boy was I, never ounce looked back for any kind of closure I already had it, those moments where things wasn't normal it was just to hard, relationship shouldn't be that hard. I refuse to keep going back and forth so that was her discard she had already given me the silent treatment and that came about when. I didn't call or text in about 1 or 2 days so I guess that caused a narcissist injury heck I got a life of my own, I got other things to tend to but now I get it after researching & educating myself she needs constant attention oops sorry lol she wanted to remain friends that's why ex's are ex seen the Hoover wasn't impressed that to me wasn't normal either ignored it calls from restricted numbers and spoof numbers I give no response no more of my time or energy I've happily moved on and she knows it. Thank you so much for your time.

[dinab]

Your channel is currently my lifeline & a life saviour. Thank you.

[mrhollandsopus]

YES, LAST WEEK AT THE GYM. I DID NOT RESPOND LIKE HE EXPECTED, SO NOW HE IS GHOSTING ME. SO CRAZY