What does it take for a narcissist to change their behaviors? | The Narcissists' Code Ep 707

what does it take for a narcissist to change their behaviors? Is it possible without therapy?

Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.

The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.

Thank you so much

[jarednovel]

Yes some narcissists can change behaviour but only after being taught a real hard and painful lesson by a cold hearted target.

[chefloves]

Most narcissists decline therapy. They are naturally paranoid about being exposed, so why would they volunteer to expose themselves. I believe in rare occasions, if they want something back that they lost, due to their toxic behaviors, they will agree to therapy to get the person back, then in the process find out its the best thing for them, whether they get the person back or not.

[danielthornton]

Honestly, everyone is different, including narcissists. Every narcissist is different. I believe the universe could throw an extremely difficult and painful situation at a narcissistic person that absolutely shatters the mask. They need to fall into such inescapable despair, and at the bottom they finally come out ready to face the world authentically. No more mask, the delusional self image dead, and all that’s left is the raw version of themselves. It’d be like 20 years of therapy all in one event. The foundation must crumble, the throne must disappear.

[fallenlotus]

Sometimes a good ass kicking brings them down a peg. But silence and cutting contact really does the trick.

[Sag]

I noticed that narcissistic ppl are intelligent in career and money but not in Love unfortunately, and i believe they never change whatsoever 🤷🏻‍♀️

[miadaomer]

I’ve been binge watching your videos for days after realizing my ex was a narcissist only after I went no contact. Never seen someone post soo often your work ethic is awesome keep it up!

[MaryDunford]

Spot on. 👏 Therapy offers accountability without judgment. It's the safest option. There are consequences to any therapist who might use your honesty against you (within legal limits).
We all have things we don't want to do that's necessary to become who we want to be. Frankly, that requires accountability. Doesn't just apply to narcissism.
No accountability; no change.

[andreabobbette]

Anyone can change. Personally I can't live my life waiting for someone to change. I will respectfully accept them for who they are. They can call me when they change.

[evolutionofCi]

Good point about consistency 👍🏽. I can’t remember my Narc ever being consistent with anything long term. I attributed it to him having a short attention span or quitting when the thrill was gone 😂😂😂. Especially our relationship. He quit that several times 🤣🤣🤣

[IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

Without starting this, I’d have to say that it would have to start with some acceptance that they are responsible for their behavior and are ready to accept accountability.

[beautyshines]

Nobody can change a person's life ( bad behavior, nasty attitude, etc.) except themselves with their willingness to change and the help of a therapist for a better life.

[glittergirl]

Absolutely. It’s not a quick fix and evidence of change to attend therapy. I see a narc family member use therapy as a moral high ground. “See I’m going to therapy. Now all of you need to go, too.” Tit for tat. News flash! We’ve been in therapy and groups for years to cope with the drama and destruction that’s come from you. We just haven’t talked to you about it because there’s no trust.
Therapy is necessary for change but if the narcissist doesn’t practice their new awareness, there is little hope for change. Therapy is not a box that you check off to get back into someone’s good graces. It’s recognition that something is wrong and that you want to change for the better.
We love our narc family member even after the he!! he’s put us through. He’s our adult child. However, until we see a pattern of change over an extended period of time, we are unlikely to trust him. I have come to the place that I do not feel guilty for doing what I need to do to protect myself. Nor do I feel responsible or obligated to trust someone that has repeatedly hurt me.

[SimbaAliaye]

Two therapists have said that even with therapy, the needle doesn’t move more than 1%.
That’s not enough for me .

[Solanke]

I am so grateful for your platform. I'm grateful for everything you're saying is so on point. I am currently in a relationship with a narcissist it is to the extreme. There's been no physical contact in the 11 months we've been together so when you talk about there's no hugging there's no kissing this there's nothing and as you said in one of your videos how do they show love by just being there and it's a space that is heavy that is cold and that you look at and you say there's so much more that I could do with that space that individual is taking up. There was the love bombing in the beginning and then the personality just changed, everything just changed. You can't speak to the individual there is no communicating. There is no therapy. There is no belief that there's anything wrong. So I made the decision to get out and have the best life without the drab. I love this individual but he does not care about I think or feel. He's not doing anything to change so he will not change so the person who needs to make the change is me.

[garys]

Well I have narcissism and have been a victim of many. I’m thinking I may have become one to assert myself. I don’t know. I’m starting therapy soon. But I can see this and think I made some real progress through being mindful and raising the self awareness. Admitting to blind spots and spotting the first one was very helpful.

[pennylou]

The problem is that the average narcissist doesn't even acknowledge they have a problem. That's key, so how does one seek help for a problem you don't have. Just recently, I asked a textbook narcissist if he thinks there's a problem. Matter of response NO, someone who is well educated and works in education. The new supply is being wooed with and made to feel and think heaven is here on earth. The sad part, no matter how many lives they wreck it means absolutely zilch. SMH

[debbieriley]

My husband is 100% a narcissist. Most won’t get help because they wont admit they have a problem. I know I have one because I am still here. That being said it’s not that easy. Especially financially

[maxybuddy]

Glad you are advocating for people with this disorder to self reflect and evolve

[norcal]

I agree and I know who wouldn't agree, unfortunately, those who need it the most.

[ChrisBarker-eqqp]

If they accepted help & eventually got therapy. That would be showing accountability for their actions & being exposed.