How Nice Guys Kill

There's a difference between "nice guys" and "kind guys". A person who is kind, is not necessarily nice. And a person who is nice is not necessarily kind. In this episode, Teal Swan reveals how being in a relationship with a nice guy, will lead to extreme pain!

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Beginning and Ending Song:
Teal Swan Intro by Christian De Raco

Teal Swan is a New Thought Leader, Bestselling Author and Speaker. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.

The result when people are restored to wholeness is that the world will be restored to wholeness. Teal Swan's teachings invite people to step fully into their authenticity, knowing that this will bring about the positive change that we want to see in the world.

Time Stamps
0:00 - Start
0:39 - How Nice Guys Kill
1:33 - Confusing Nice & Kind
2:39 - Nice Guys Self Interest
4:47 - They Are Enablers
5:17 - Engaged in Deception
6:38 - Two Faced
7:38 - Fragmentation
9:22 - Can't Protect
10:28 - Needs Aren't Being Met
12:59 - Flipping Polarity
14:22 - Exhaustion
14:52 - Battle With Others
16:52 - Controlling
18:12 - Unlikeable People
19:49 - Problematic Behavior
20:21 - Toxic Cycle
22:31 - Highly Manipulative
24:21 - Ignorance

Follow Teal Swan:

[fuqupaymi]

Being nice is a waste, being decent and humble is vital.

[entropyfun]

Yes, I confirm that I acted nice out of fear of conflict and exposure. But I realized this about my self and changed my behavior. I realized that goodness can only come from courage and strength, it cannot come from weakness and avoidance.

[bm__]

The most truly genuine people I know aren’t afraid to be disliked or rock the boat. They move with honest and confident intentions and are usually the people setting boundaries. Nice guys have to be liked and validated by EVERYONE or it damages their fragile ego. Be very careful when people excessively flatter you. You have to take a step back and think “this person doesn’t actually know me”.

[annikabirgittanordlander]

”Kind is an other-oriented behavior where you demonstrate that you can act in the best interest of others. Kind people perform good deeds for others. A kind person feels empathy and acts in the best interests of others. A kind person is exhibiting strength. A kind person acts from care and love”. Teal Swan. Thank you Teal for talking about this 🌎

[sassykat]

I've often talked with friends about differentiating between kindness and niceness because I've always known the difference.
My mother leans toward niceness because she's extremely concerned about the perception of others. As a child I was left in harms way because of this at times.
This video is the best explanation of my very real experiences with nice people vs kind people.

[Trace]

Being perceived as a nice guy most of my life has made me suicidal. This video was so accurate and described me and my behaviors perfectly

[farrokhbulsara]

As the band Smiths said:
"It's so easy to laugh,
It's so easy to hate,
It takes strength to be gentle and kind."

Tnx Teal for the powerfull, simple yet uncomforble truths you are sharing with us ❤

[daniellevandermerwe]

“he has abandoned his own daughter without ever leaving the house” hit me so deep. i experienced that and it’s a crazy experience.

[weldtechpaul]

I agree whole heartedly. I was this person. Yes its fear. Its a lonely existence, and boys are damaged as children just like girls. The key to freedom for me was a focus on being the person I wanted to be, and not pretending to be the person I wanted to be. Learning to be kind. Not just so I would be accepted and liked, but instead so that I could respect and trust myself. I am 61 years old and have spend many years a prison my own fear. Thank you Teal. You are incredibly knowledgeable. I listen to regularly.

[alicentmarveltrra]

“Kind men step INTO conflict, ‘nice’ men AVOID IT” 💯☠️

[briellehunter]

Nice people have disowned their sense of self. They don’t know you can be confident and still be a good person. You can love yourself and not be conceited. They fear conflict because they’ve experienced danger upon saying no, thus they turn agreeable. They people please and self sacrifice to the degree it hurts others.

[nh]

Many men are told being nice and being liked is the most important thing in life. We are raised to never start conflict. I used to be a 'nice' guy, my mom raised me to respect women and be nice to them, and for years I was frustrated at why no woman wanted me. I changed long ago, but this video is spot on!

[m.d]

Man this resonates for me so much. Just ended things with a “nice guy”. I had so much anxiety around this person and couldn’t figure out why. Thank you Teal ❤

[alptuna]

I am a “nice guy”. I lost so many people because of it but only now i’m truly realizing it, just after parting ways with one of the dearest people in my life because of it. I don’t know if i can even describe the pain. We need to be better, guys. MUCH better. It is our responsibility to the people we love, to ourselves and to the world. Thank you so much, Teal. You’re helping me immensely and i’m truly grateful! 🙏🏻

[nikolayordanov]

Three days after watching this video my life has changed so much for the better. I am\was a nice guy. I used to think that that's how everyone should be, but not anymore.
Blessing upon you Teal ❤

[hollyhuntington]

11:00 Teal Swan just dropped the best list ever of all the things we need in a relationship and simply hearing this list empowers me to acknowledge what I want my life and next relationship to feel like.

[DeckardShotFirst]

My parents both played this game, each said the other was bad but left me to my own devices while the other was abusing. No support, just scoring points against each other, the kid didn't matter. Thanks for this, it brought up a lot of things. I've been struggling to feel worthwhile ever since, decades of being nothing.
Teal makes another good point about "nice" people and who they are afraid won't like them. People will be nice and love-bomb until they are sure you like them, then emotionally abandon you to concentrate on someone else who doesn't yet like them. My last ex did this, the more someone was kind and supportive, the more she ignored and focused on other angry guys to the point of cheating.
One video from Teal is worth months in mainstream therapy, I am grateful.

[AttackDev]

I was / am the nice guy and had no idea, absolutely no idea. The amount of resentment that I built up from my previous relationship always bothered me, like I was missing something. I consider myself fairly intelligent (not overly) and an empath (exactly due to trauma, which you pointed out in another video) and I just couldn't figure out the problems that I perceived my partner to have...only to realize that I was trying to solve an impossible puzzle as I was the problem in every single instance that I held resentment for.

So thanks for your work, not only did all of the resentment dissolve immediately, I have a lot of apologizing / explaining to do as I can only imagine how much damage my behaviour might have done to my partners self image.

And while this is no excuse, I really had absolutely no clue whatsoever prior to watching this.
(And obviously there's quite a bit of soul searching and other build-up prior to me seeing this video that allowed me to have this almost instant realization)

[Jana-jyyv]

Fascinating explanation !!! I have always despised 'nice guys' ---they are ruled by fear & not by honor !

[QuelsQuest]

I can't thank you enough for this video, which comes at such a synchronistic time. Yesterday, I felt berated by a male employee for not being "nice." Even my manager wants me to be "nice". I'm NOT nice, to some people, at all! I AM KIND. And I try to explain the difference, and I can't find the words, and then I feel frustrated!!! I've been ruminating and ruminating----and came home to THIS! I needed this soo badly. Once again Teal, you're plain magic! THANK YOU!