The Foolishness of The Nice Guys

#masculinity #selfimprovement #selfdevelopment

People have said this forever. I’ve never given it much thought as to why people say this. Why do they finish last? It seems so unfair when you take it at face value. They’re being nice. Why should they always lose?

What underlies all of these things? A lack of confidence or low self-esteem

They are unsure of what it means to stand up to you/themselves or fight with you or for themselves. They lack confidence in what their own thoughts and feelings and needs may be that may differ or conflict with yours, their family, or their friends. They’ve allowed themselves to be a doormat and have convinced themselves that it is because they are caring and thoughtful.

Being caring and thoughtful is great, but not at the expense of being yourself. And not because you feel it’s an expectation or that it automatically means you shall be greatly rewarded. It shouldn’t be at the expense of not growing. Of not fighting or disagreeing and really figuring shit out with your partner. Most certainly, not at the expense of eventually becoming resentful of your partner because you’ve “given them everything” and not received anything in return.

Time Code:
Intro: 0:00 - 0:57
Foolishness #1: 0:58 - 1:57
Foolishness #2: 1:58 - 3:07
Foolishness #3: - 3:08 - 4:11
Foolishness #4: - 4:12 - 5:30
Foolishness #5: - 5:31 - 6:22
Outro: 6:23 - 7:10

[Zahness]

Don't be a nice guy.
Be a good guy.
Know the difference.

[mohamadjavadpaybaf]

I was a loser ، a fool that loved others despite what they were ، I changed myself after reading the book "no more Mr.nice guy" it is really a way out.

[amberprice]

My mother instilled those values in me very hard. It took me years to realise that it doesn't make me a respected person like she claimed to and even more years to fight off my Nice Guy instincts. I wasted my entire high school and college years and ended up being abused becuase of it. And my mother still claims that's the correct course of behaviour

[Stranzua]

I'll tell you what, being a nice guy has been painful, but it leads you to see people and the world for what they truly are. A complete disaster.

[cobaltsurlin]

Most “Nice guys” had their rage and assertiveness suppressed when growing up. Which leads them to appease for people approval. When that fails they either take three options. #1 they manage to unlock their inner rage so they stand up for themselves. Or #2 they devolve into “simps”. A video on how to claim your inner rage and assertiveness would good if haven’t already made one.

[ADee-INFJGamer]

Nice guy, Alpha male, Simp, Sigma, we have been stripped of all individuality and all uniqueness that men are either this or that. The same goes for women and now without an identity we immediately put everyone in a specific category and judge them by that.

I open a door for a woman, I am a simp, I treat her like trash I am alpha, we are so far gone that we have lost what makes us unique. Perhaps your name can define you as a unique person that cannot be replaced or replicated, but I say this to say don't let society define who you are or what you should be like. Follow your own path, remove labels and just be you. Keep it simple, otherwise you end up watching 100s of YouTube videos of men you don't know or will ever meet in real life telling you what you can and cannot be.

*Please take this opinion with a grain of salt. Don't dive down the rabbit hole*

[rajangoenka]

I like how this video puts it out there without any "nice"ness. And that there no solutions given, to do this or do that. Just plain statements that strike at the core.

No matter how bad or good hand you are dealt with, you need to just plough through. Build a personality, build priorities, build meaningful connections, build an empire no matter how big or small, that defines who you are.

[derek]

The key to overcoming your nice guy tendencies is to think about one of your long-time heroes. For many of us, our heroes growing up were a mixture of kind, assertive, intelligent, strong, and confident without being arrogant.

Become that person. Become fit. Learn new skills. Pursue new interests that test your limits and your comfort level. You will slowly gain in intellect and capability, until that quiet confidence comes with them. Become the person you always wished you could be, and don't make excuses for the things that ARE in your control.

When you truly get on the road to becoming that person, you'll start to truly love and respect yourself, and others will naturally be attracted to you. Only now, you won't warp who you are in some attempt to make yourself more appealing to them. You won't be a nice guy. You'll be a good man.

[ryoheikobayashi]

Don't get it twisted, this doesn't mean you should be a monster all the time. Being nice is means you can afford to be nice. It's like giving back to people because you can afford to. Help yourself first before helping somebody, Not the other way around. Peace!

[tygsv]

“Nice guys” need to go through a lot of discomfort & disappointment before they learn. That’s how I learned. But because of all the shit I went through I become cold hearted. Some people will as well.

[ZacTBH]

the biggest thing for 'nice guys' to understand is their attachment to an outcome is screwing them up big time, because when a person is in that state of mind they operate from a 'scarcity' mindset which never looks good on anybody.

[danielboucher]

This vidéo is not harsh it's the reality of today's living thank's for shearing love you're direct approach let stop putting are head in the sand manifest ourselves 👍

[VinayDhiman]

I am a nice guy so far and my life is fucking hell (no friends, respect from even parents and any skills or achievements) i should change my character and accept hard work and pain in rest of my life . I will change my nice guy tag . Thank You

[Lnerfan]

We live in a world where we can't afford to be nice to anyone

[janfg]

At 30 years old, I still notice a lot of nice guys behaviour in myself rooted in elementary and middle school times. When you are in the position of a loner at that age, you are likely to loose in conflicts both physically and mentally. That ignites a basic fear of confrontations lasting lifelong. The main problem is that adults never teach children or teenagers these deeper social skills, which is why I`m watching this video as an adult now. One good thing about the internet is that psychological and other helpful stuff is way easier accessible than it was back then.

[joshrust]

Well, I haven’t seen a more accurate representation of myself in my early 20. Glad the Marine Corps beat that out of me

[williamj.dovejr.]

I never bother anyone until they bother me...if someone tries to take advantage of me, I distance myself. If someone talks shit behind my back, I let them know that I know. It wasn't always that easy...it took time and my trust being abused.

[WarriorPrime]

Excellent video. If I could add a point, it is that many people confuse being "nice" as being "good". they are not the same. A "good" man knows who he is, has boundaries, has a moral framework, takes action and responsibility, is not an ass hole, and is not someone's doormat. "nice" guys dont have these attributes. I know, I use to be one.

[Ans-zvgv]

I'm not a nice guy, but I am the child of I AM

[DawnshieId]

I have no social skills but I face confrontation anyway.