Relationships Heal When You Learn to Change Your Response to Emotional Triggers

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Fight, flight, freeze, fawn. These are four common trauma responses that you MIGHT slip into when you’re under stress. If you have CPTSD, you probably have one dominant trauma response, and the others show up from time to time. But they cause you to react in ways that can be destructive to your relationships. In this "best of" compilation, I share four of my most popular videos about trauma responses, and how they can make you react when emotions are running high.

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[hxgjppk]

Your work here has helped me tremendously on my healing❤ journey. There arent words that can express the deep gratitude i feel toward you. Your genuine and authentic spirit is an inspiration and gives me hope there is wholeness and healthy relationships that is attainable ❤thank you for all you do, you are a rare and precious gem❤

[jenyahwehsal]

I was seeing a narcissist for a year. It was brutal and awful. I have been slowly breaking away. But finally his phone number was disconnected. I got on my knees and thank God I was relieved. He had a lot of drama in his life My temptation to reach out to him is gone now i'm so relieved He lives two hours away thank god I believe my heavenly father intervened because he knew I was Weak
Praise jesus

[desperate]

😂 "we better take what we can get cause that's all there's gonna be " YOU NAILED IT 💯

[InsightsAbroad]

Man, if u can feel deep love after a crappy childhood, that is remarkable👏

[monicawarren]

At 65 I'm done with all the pressure. I'm physically broken and I find any disruption intolerable. I'm a hermit and that's OK for now because I have an extraordinary feeling we are all being gaslit by people who make our laws. I throw my hands up and I can't fight what's happening because I now know our very WORLD is run by sociopaths to some degree 😢

[beckymichel]

With the daily practice and your videos I’m hoping to never again not be myself.. I crapfit my life for 32 years & the day I turned 60… I decided NO MORE! I’m sure I will suffer abandonment melange but at least now I’ll know what it is and use the tools to get thru it.. here’s to a happy life!

[louisepotier]

A relationship of six months is not a long time to be having this discussion. It's a drop in the span of a lifetime. This woman is 50 years old and has had a relationship of over 20 years with a previous person. She needs a break to find herself, start a relationship with HERSELF and find herself. My humble opinion. Have a great day. 🙂

[soundtravels]

Trying to talk to my mother about what she did to me was futile. I think it was worth trying because it helped me to see that she couldn't see it, she's not willing to face her past behavior and she will never be able to help me work through my CPTSD.

It was important for me to discover this so that I could move on and try other things to recover.

By all means try to talk to your parents about your childhood but please don't fool yourself into thinking that it will be a healing, bonding experience.

[annetteorangeGArealtor]

That man was trying to make a fool out of Caitlyn. The universe acted in her favor and removed that man from her life.

[kabel]

I totally agree, he was moving way to fast. Sixth months - You need time to heal from a lifetime of trauma. He needed to step back to look at things through your eyes. Listen to Anna, she is wonderful! Wishing you the best! ❤

[Analysis_Paralysis]

I really hope the woman who wrote the first letter is safe! It sounds like the man pressured her into the relationship too early... And that she's reacting to his behavior and blaming herself. He doesn't sound nice to me because he's blaming her for his anger, etc. She doesn't need anyone in her life who blows up on her. Or blames her for his tears.

A "self-aware" man? I don't know, it sounds like a red flag. Most manipulative men today mask as "self-aware". It's dangerous!

[thecommonsensecapricorn]

I relate a lot to Caitlin though, and the guy I was dating is a Mark too… moving super fast and then breaking up with me after a month because he said I didn’t love him back and I wasn’t affectionate enough/didn’t share his passion for me… despite him being controlling and emotionally abusive, I did have feelings for him, I just didn’t have the time to trust and open up. After he ended it I’ve been torturing myself with the belief that I’m not affectionate enough and everyone is going to abandon me because of that. Logically though I know that I am affectionate, I am loving, I am caring… I just couldn’t move as fast as him. Like Matthew Hussey says “they can’t be the one for you if they don’t want to/can’t be with you”

[soundtravels]

My dad used to tell me I wasn't feminine enough and it took me a long time to realize how freaken weird and gross it is for a father to say that sort of thing to his daughter.

It definitely affected me negatively and resulted in a warped sense of value.

[Hotmamafox]

Absolutely 💯 been married for 20 years and I’m done with him because he continues to be hot and cold and I’m at this point that I need to go and be alone I can do it and I’m going to that’s on my bucket list

[jsmith]

As a CPTSD woman who fell in love on the rebound and moved the guy in and got married, I think your writer may have had just dodged a bullet! Anyone who is talking about and would even accept half your accommodation knowing your vulnerable due to having come out of a long term relationship needs to be viewed with extreme caution. I had a child with mine and my ex cleaned me out, emotionally, financially etc, still impacting me 20 years later due to our child connection. I couldn't have imagined the damage I would cause myself by 'falling in love'. Another red flag I hear in your story with Mark is that he somehow comes with qualifications in mental health with the work he does. This makes him seem like his words are more valuable than they are in your relationship . In my opinion if he has that understanding he would not put you under ANY pressure. CPTSD aside, he heard from you that you were not a push over, even if this came out in a non direct way. The fact that he stepped away from you when you didn't move him in and behaved like a confused cautious person who had only recently come out of a very long relationship and is working through old trauma, makes me feel more convinced Mark had his own issues, wrapped up in a cloak of 'mindfulness understanding' and saw you as a way to make a buck. Sorry to say that, but I think you actually kept yourself safe and that you just need to heal so your can believe your own actions and not get convinced by someone you don't know properly. I also think that it doesn't sound like your mum's done any healing herself so her damaging values are probably unchanged, so save yourself the effort unless you just need to be heard. Good luck ❤🎉 thanks Anna xx 💫🌿💕

[PaulaBIrish]

I Love how you spoke to and advised this woman. So kind, honest and caring!

[debrajess]

I'm 67, and I'm healing slowly with many healers....above all my higher power and the daily practice. Understanding what has been going on is half the battle. Anna is a healer with her knowledge. Gabor Mate is another, although I dont agree with everything. I have very limited funds, so I can find help on YouTube. The body keeps the score is free on YouTube with no commercials. Trauma is awful, but we are safe now. Please don't give up, there is hope. I see how I have made things worse. I have to control my responses. There are good people in the world.

[kbc]

I heard a huge red flag in the letter when Mark is pressuring her to move into her home and to be a co-owner. When you are middle-aged, recently divorced there should be no reason to rush, marriage or co-ownership or commingling of finances. That sounds a bit shady to me as far as motives.

[hollylooyeah]

You are truly amazing. This started off and I thought wow you're way of expressing and explaining with the tone and softness of your voice stood out. Then I became triggered and overwhelmed and thought I couldnt take it. I hung in there and your relayance of what's going on in Caitlin's psyche (possibly) and the amount of validation and specific wording you used had me in tears. Wow. I need to get closer to the ability to start to heal. Thank you for being here for us all

[withanianight]

I needed to hear the apology part-about what an apology is and isn't. Thank you, needed guidance on that with the tension with my sibling. I see now where I could improve and where I'm doing ok. Thank you Anna.